#anixiety
It's my duty to finish
This book of love poetry
But it's so hard
To do that when all I think of
Is the contempt I breath
With every drag of life's cigarette.
People **** me off
And I'm scared of talking on the phone.
I could once run miles
But now I'm dying in the mines.
Ambition was my strong suit,
My scars were my weapons
But I let love in
And changed for the better.
What are you supposed to do
When you're good at writing about desecration
And you're suddenly placed in front of
A communion wafer?
What happens when
You're so distraught
You're reading the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book
Just to feel closer to God?
What is there to say
When you've gone off the deep end
So quietly that those who love you
Have got no ******* clue
That it ever really happened?
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
Curled up into a ball in the corner of the room,
Surrounded with nothing but bleak walls and the echoes of my breathe,
Staring out from behind the bars as I ignore the flickering light,
Hoping that a moment would come I could finally taste the freedom.
I couldn't remember how I got in this prison,
But the counts of my failed escapes are scarred on my body,
Every whisper is my shout, every tears are my untold wishes,
And every tick of the clock madness is feasting my mind.
Every move I make synchronizes with the sound of my chain,
Reminding me that my steps are counted as the walls around me,
Reaching out the bars, struggling to pass through them,
Yet all my endevours always go in vain.
The ghost of courage remains unseen and unheard,
Eyes on the laughing bars while I'm slowly shrinking,
As every strength fades into oblivion, this place turns into something worse,
For without a single sanity ever survived in a solitary confinement.
I am words left unspoken, unwillingly trapped in this place,
I am ashamed of how will I sound like to their ears,
Will I be accepted? Will I be rejected?
Will I be a curse or a blessing to the world?
I always try to blame others but it's me who trapped myself within these walls,
With no possible escapes I am willing to discover,
Loneliness is hunting me, holding the bow and arrow of despair,
But why? I'm just a voice longing to be heard.
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 10:39 AM UTC
Does fighting with myself to death
Qualify me for an entrance to Valhalla?
Will Valkyries take me after my final breath
For my life-long war efforts in the most vicious war of all?
Or is it not enough and to Helheim I’ll fall?
Does fighting with myself to death
Qualify me for the Elysian fields?
Will I be judged after my final breath
As having completed my heroic deeds?
Or will Fields of Asphodel be my destination after pomegranate seeds?
Does fighting with myself to death
Qualify me for standing before the heavenly gates?
Will I be greeted by St. Peter after my final breath
And given a halo for the battle between my two states?
Or will I taste hellish torture caused by the demonic blades?
Does fighting with myself to death
Qualify me for reincarnation as a divine being?
Will I achieve Nirvana with my final breath
And finally realise the true meaning?
Or will I be reborn as an animal unseeing?
Apr 18, 2021
Apr 18, 2021 at 6:19 AM UTC