#androgynous
“Chocolate or vanilla?”
“Can I get a twist?”
“Sorry, we don't serve that here.”
“Can't you just… mix them together?”
“Well, why would you want that?”
“Because, I like chocolate and vanilla.”
“But you can't just have both.”
“...I'll take cheesecake.”
3d ago
May 30, 2026 at 9:17 PM UTC
i am tormented every night with the memories of friends i’ve never made. each night they hold me, laugh with me, and rejoice in how wonderful it is that we are all queer together. the little time we have feels so warm like a flag on a beach that’s been sitting and getting lightly bleached by the sun. i wake up salted with tears of laughter from the night before and find that all the party has gone. i feel cheated because each night i swear i’m getting closer and closer to actually swimming into their arms. but instead, this morning i am awoken again in a shock to find myself anchored down to a frosted sea. my heart has to reassess the world around and come to terms with the fact that what i submissively held in my glorious bathed-in-sunlight dreams last night, something i’ve always achingly yearned for, was simply never really found. yet i meekly believe that if i force my spiritually tired eyes shut for just a moment longer, i’ll sink through and i won’t be needing to be waking up cold and pitiful without my queer friends, and my soul asunder. i miss my queer friends so much, it hurts me. and each and every morning just feels worse. with each connection more meaningful and understanding than the last, it stabs me deep in my heart each morning knowing i have to let it sleep in the past. i don’t want yet another cruel reminder of something i want that i will never have. just because i’m used to the cold doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy the sunshine raining upon me, gracing my body with the warm and lulling arms of friendship that fill me with a love that is close to godly. i would do anything like sew my eyes shut and drown in pills just so i can see my friends for one warm minute again. yes, again. please dear god, again. to be held, to laugh, and to be understood again. nobody understands how much i miss my queer friends and i would rather sleep forever than be awake and coping with the weathering truth that this connection has been broken. because every time i try to find something real, it has led to me to places where judgement and alienation is all this androgynous heart can feel. the queer friends from my dreams have never once judged me. not once have they made me limp away from disapproving glances, forsaken me in crowds of dismissing masses, it has only ever been in my dreams that i have been given these soothing beautiful chances. i am always to be seen as neutered and sexless, but not as paradisical and ethereal as god intended. perhaps i do moor myself to the glacial shores of my mind because i feel safe in the cold that is close to the coast but i must realize there is only so much healing i can do on my own. in freezing winters, one needs warmth from friendly bodies to hold so i will wrap myself and continue to hold on to a hope. of a day where i find my queer friends, a day where i won’t be nippingly alone.
S. Azrael
Dec 19, 2025
Dec 19, 2025 at 10:30 PM UTC
i bow
in silenced awe
to a moonlit silhouette
of a half man,
half woman
a celestial being
for whom
an offering of
a garland of pink lotuses or dried skulls
merely the same,
each half
in dizzied love
with the other
as i ponder why?
he - the cosmic father
also became
she - the enchanting mother
© 2021
May 22, 2021
May 22, 2021 at 11:27 AM UTC
You tell me I'm one thing,
But really you're just afraid that I'm something
Undefinable.
You believe everyone is one or the other,
But whats the beauty in that?
Maybe one day I'm
'They'
The next I'm
'She'
Then the day after I'm
'He'
Don't suppress me for being
Everything.
Nothing.
And
Me.
Feb 14, 2021
Feb 14, 2021 at 3:22 PM UTC
I rise dandy and gay, darling
Carelessly waving away the past
Shining against the cruel light
I am washed and anew
I am a surging black tide
Strutting between smoky darkness
Wearing a harlequin dress
Bathing in the light of the dew
I am femme, and I am fatale
Follow me down the winding corridor
Twisting, snarling, enticing, enthralling
Into the land where flames brew
Jun 18, 2019
Jun 18, 2019 at 3:21 AM UTC
My type is flexibility.
My kink is versatility.
I try to draw into my life,
those of the same nature.
However, I find myself
attracting those
with a lot less elasticity.
Is it because they wanna be like me, malleable?
I try to help but there is no fluctuation.
You're so stiff, you just snap.
You give me nothing to work with, nothing willing to be formed.
How can you and I become we,
and we become one,
when you refuse to merge?
May 24, 2019
May 24, 2019 at 11:26 PM UTC
I have kissed boys
Girls
People in between
But lately I have been kissing bottles
Their lips are colder than yours
But slowly I have realized that the pounding headache when I wake is less hurtful than the shattering in my chest
Yet as these toxins rush through my veins
I can't help but miss the tracing of your fingers along my skin
Miss the numbness of the world when you lie with me
But when I wake I remember that a headache is treated with an aspirin
While heartache
Well if you have a cure for Heartache let me know
Nov 27, 2018
Nov 27, 2018 at 12:56 PM UTC
Drawstring linen pants,
Unisex from a women's catalogue.
Dark green shirt, tomboy approved.
Enough makeup to hide my faults.
Pink heart earrings, and a silver cross in the 3rd hole.
A silver cross, trans emblem and a silver heart engraved Laura, my true identity, together on a black bead chain.
Silver Lesbian insignia ring with my wedding band on top.
A black 1st finger ring etched with the Lord's prayer.
2 bracelets, one orange one turquoise to match a turquoise hat and dark glasses.
A couple of mists of Acqua di Gioia.
Women's turquoise/orange runners,
And a Victoria's secret backpack.
I didn't really think about the details until evening,
All I knew is I felt comfortable today.
I even went to Kohl's department store alone and browsed, and felt a confidence I'd rarely felt in the past.
Is this how some people feel every day I wonder?
I was so grateful for just today, just one day.
Today I was me
by Lj Mark 2015
Oct 31, 2015
Oct 31, 2015 at 12:54 AM UTC
I'm tired.
I'm tired of it taking more mental energy
and self confidence for us to go out in public,
than it does most people.
I don't blame a person, or religion,
its much more than that.
I blame society in general, its peer pressure,
It's structure designed to keep everyone
in small boxes, all thinking the same.
I blame manufacturer's for making every item
we buy gendered male or female,
Just to sell more and make more money.
I blame the media for its lies and ignorance
when reporting about us..
And I blame us is some ways for allowing it.
I blame myself for not doing more,
but I'm just too tired of fighting, struggling
and having to do it all again tomorrow.
I'm Transgender.. And I get tired.
by Lj Mark 2015
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 10:31 PM UTC