#amy
(A lone voice whispers)
Like grey smoke slowly rising in London's old Southgate
Each morning as I slowly open my tired red eyes in here
Filled with dark thoughts and whispers of the past
I still think of places in Enfield
I used to visit
Or people who’ve died who I’ve lost in an unholy war
Good friends who have now entered God's gates
Now I'm forever 27
I always wake up with a body and soul inside that’s slowly crying
With tears that don’t dry on their own
Here in my own dark painful version of Heaven
Will you still love me
My old friends and lovers
Tomorrow
Even though you all once knew deep down inside
I was so addictive but really no good
Hey little rich girl
I once heard you say
But what is it about men who just like to play
When you still wake up all alone
Rich but still so poor in Camden
Wearing your deep depression like a familiar loved cherished
Old coat of darkened dreams
In tandem
Which still sing but silently screams
I now know there is no greater love
Than the Almighty
For to know him is to love him even more
My day will come though
Like me and Mrs Jones
Love is maybe a losing game
Where you pull in do me black heels and white pumps
Where your soul is love-drunk on cheap *****
From long lines of so tempting *******
I now watch in silence at all those subtle moments
As my life on this big screen in here
Flows
Forever tumbling like forgotten red and golden Autumn leaves
As I stand close to the front of this barrier in The Great In-Between
You may be all wondering if as a historic ghost
I still visit London or my beloved Enfield
My answer is always
Yes
For my reflection in gilded silver mirrors
I still see in passing posters or shop windows
As whispers of doubts slowly still
Swim on the molten surfaces of my mind
Seeking out all my hidden kingdoms
As me, they always stalk and follow
Looking for lost shores to walk and run upon and remain there
Haunting me forever
In some of my vintage old clothes
Especially through this half-time
When the black cockerel crows
And the Great Golden Horn blows
Some say I was always doomed
Just another ill-fated singer simply eating and drinking
New and old pharmaceutical and alcoholic treasures
Walking the long mirage filled ancient winding roads
Towards a certain death or salvation
But still a winding road to the very end
Filled and overflowing with such strands of darkness
That I thought foolishly were just there for my own intense pleasure
But through the blurred white lines
And the distorted visions
I speak this
My life’s story is simply a sad song for just you
For I truly believe my soul will soar again
In time
My inner faith will create a silver bridge
To leave this dark pathway to self-destruction
And instead, lead to my own spiritual resurrection
For I believe Jesus died on the cross for me
And all I can do to repay his sacred belief
His sacrifice
Is to conquer all my hidden demons
And share my inner dreams in these words I used to bury
So deeply hidden within me
Before I am called back
By he who always calls
To fade forever into the Black
Before I go
Can I ask a question of you
Swear on your body and soul in the middle of this dark night
Standing between all those you still love but also those
Who you know still might cheat
Does my memory still stand beside you, and we'll always be best friends
Right
For fame and love is such a losing game and I need you
To always remember my name
I was simply thrown under the Freedom Train as I couldn’t hold on any longer
Due to my everlasting mental pain
Remember me
My name is Amy
(C)
Copyright John Duffy
Feb 10, 2025
Feb 10, 2025 at 1:59 AM UTC
dollops of dander
mighty mousers meander—
cats with cattitude
© 2020 Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020 at 2:00 PM UTC
Tattoo'd songstress,
Contralto vocals from a
Broken heart, Cohen's bird
On a wire, exalting freedom
All the while tied to intoxication,
Those who loved her
Wished her well, but she was
Pressgang'd, harassed
Until she finally flew away,
Leaving only that voice
Her Spirit trapped in a CD case.
Jun 27, 2019
Jun 27, 2019 at 4:12 PM UTC
Dear Amy
The sun is smiling at you
The beach calls you
Why are you hiding ?!
You're so beautiful, put on your bikini now and go show off your body.
Are not you shaved?
Your hair on the body is not sin, it was God who put it there.
Show the skin, show the veins show your face.
Dear Amy
Your face is so beautiful your skin and so lush, but remember what I told you?
You're more than that.
Your beauty will pass by one day your lush skin will have wrinkles.
But your mind and your brain will have knowledge forever.
Dear Amy
I like your legs I like your body, I like to see you in every way.
You do not need them to find you ****
Put that lingerie on you and show me those stretch marks.
Look in the mirror and say:
Damm! My stretch marks make me a mermaid.
My weight makes me happy and I was not made to follow standards.
Beauty standards weaken me
And I'm a woman
I'm not weak.
I was born strong and no one is going to take that away from me.
I was not born to please those who do not care about me.
I am confident and I make of my scars experiences.
You need to hear this truth.
You do not owe anyone your body.
You do not owe anyone your sanity.
And even if you change, you will never please everyone.
The only person who has to be pleased is me.
Today wash your face and leave the makeup, show the freckles, let the skin breathe.
But tomorrow if you want to put your lipstick red and slay.
Do not let them steal your freedom.
You are a butterfly.
Free yourself
And fly.
Dear Amy
Stop selling your brain girl.
Stop selling your sanity.
They do not deserve the prominence you give them.
Remember that you have fire inside.
Seek for yourself in the midst of your imperfections, date with your insecurities.
You need them to feel alive.
Do not give them the pleasure of controlling your brain.
You are selling your feelings to leeches.
Nobody is perfect.
Accept this .
They do not want to know what you feel.
They want to rob you of the right to speak.
Take the shine you have inside you
And let it flow.
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 2:24 AM UTC
Time sails around us,
leaving the present left to rust.
All my love is written below the earth
and spaces between the stars,
in the oldest language.
And we lay on our backs
crushing the grass.
You told me to wait,
but I can't wait forever.
so you said, "come along and travel
among these childlike places with me."
I said I'd follow you as far as to the moon's oldest side.
And then all at once, I'm a child again.
A child who would waste their time playing
in the naked creeks and thought of the unthinkables.
I was always trying to find my way to you
yet I was never scared of getting lost
for I followed the stars you mapped out for me
on the back of an old construction paper
that you scribbled across with stardust.
And on the night of the blue moon
I found you on a piece of paper
written 70 years ago.
you wrote to me telling me to always
keep looking and wait patiently
for the days that are to come.
and wait I did.
Jul 25, 2013
Jul 25, 2013 at 11:41 AM UTC
Raised by
Kurt Cobain anger,
low grunge in earbuds
make it easier to ignore the mass of loud kids in the halls,
Hope they stay away.
For me? Socializing will drain you.
Raised by
Amy Winehouse.
Big winged eyes but,
her voice was bigger.
Showed me how to close doors,
and what hides behind them.
For love is a losing game,
yet we end up addicted anyways.
Raised by
The Beatles.
60s pop and rock,
Oh! Darlin’ they are good!
Taught me to think for myself
and let some things be.
Raised by
Cage The Elephant.
Showed me the world is
cold, cold, cold.
Cause there ain’t no rest for the wicked!
I’ll always find
trouble on my left
and to my right.
Raised by
Earl St. Clair
I might not have what I want,
but I got what I need.
And some don’t have a three story home
to feel alone in.
You just gotta deal with the pain,
before it deals with you.
Dec 8, 2017
Dec 8, 2017 at 11:11 AM UTC
we sat together
in a nothing-special parking lot
in your rusty red pontiac
staring at a white picket fence
contemplating whether we should drive right through it
and out into the real world
a world full of love, pleasure excitement
but not without the loss, pain, and down times
but we wanted all of it
we want all of it
because its better than this, this sitting and waiting
abiding by the clock, our parents, our dresscode, our reputations
i love you for sitting there with me
while i cried and laughed at the same time
you magnified the light at the end of the tunnel
and i never want you to leave because you are the little bit of spontaneity i have left
Nov 7, 2017
Nov 7, 2017 at 12:03 AM UTC
He perches in the slime, inert,
Bedaubed with iridescent dirt.
The oil upon the puddles dries
To colours like a peacock’s eyes,
And half-submerged tomato-cans
Shine scaly, as leviathans
Oozily crawling through the mud.
The ground is here and there bestud
With lumps of only part-burned coal.
His duty is to glean the whole,
To pick them from the filth, each one,
To hoard them for the hidden sun
Which glows within each fiery core
And waits to be made free once more.
Their sharp and glistening edges cut
His stiffened fingers. Through the ****
Gleam red the wounds which will not shut.
Wet through and shivering he kneels
And digs the slippery coals; like eels
They slide about. His force all spent,
He counts his small accomplishment.
A half-a-dozen clinker-coals
Which still have fire in their souls.
Fire! And in his thought there burns
The topaz fire of votive urns.
He sees it fling from hill to hill,
And still consumed, is burning still.
Higher and higher leaps the flame,
The smoke an ever-shifting frame.
He sees a Spanish Castle old,
With silver steps and paths of gold.
From myrtle bowers comes the plash
Of fountains, and the emerald flash
Of parrots in the orange trees,
Whose blossoms pasture humming bees.
He knows he feeds the urns whose smoke
Bears visions, that his master-stroke
Is out of dirt and misery
To light the fire of poesy.
He sees the glory, yet he knows
That others cannot see his shows.
To them his smoke is sightless, black,
His votive vessels but a pack
Of old discarded shards, his fire
A peddler’s; still to him the pyre
Is incensed, an enduring goal!
He sighs and grubs another coal.
Sep 9, 2016
Sep 9, 2016 at 1:24 AM UTC
The Siren's song swimming into my ears,
sweetly against the harsh instrumental.
The angelic vocals flood all who hear;
a love of a melody so gentle.
Hair long and dark as the lyrics she sings,
eyes a bold green and skin a soft, pale tone.
A Goddess of elegance beauty brings,
whose talent does her no justice alone.
But nurture does as it will always do:
A son born from such grandeur; a Lion.
The immaculate voice is all but through;
A respite of lull sulks from the scion.
The achievements of song left in her wake;
I'll wait evermore, as long as it takes.
Jul 7, 2015
Jul 7, 2015 at 4:10 PM UTC
By Arcassin Burnham
"Amazing Lisa"
**** all your evil intentions,
I want your love and your wishes,
Not a victim of manipulation,
But I can't control my desiring thirst for you,
Latching on quick,
Falling head over a ledge for you,
6 hours go by and you just won't shut your mouth,
But I'll stay and listen for you,
More power to you lovely one,
You deserve a ******* Oscar,
By the way how is he?,
Heard he bought you car and it was bently,
Forget that,
I'll love you gently okay,
Pull your hair,
Should I say more that I'll display,
Still don't care about all your evil intentions,
Brass decisions,
Harsh mentions,
About ******* that you work with for the moment,
Love you Lisa.
_____________________________________________
"Ghost Rider"
Muddy boots,
Biker jacket,
Flames everywhere,
Watching all my enemies seal their fates,
Like cut steak on crystal clear plates,
Wash it down with the bubbly,
Ain't a **** thing funny,
Killing you with my bare hands,
Send you back to hell with daggers all in your tummy,
Skid marks in the streets,
With a side of broken windows,
Hell coursing through my veins,
How you figured,
Step on the gas a little harder,
Due to my anger,
I hate changing into him , they see me as stranger ,
And just when you thought things in my life couldn't get any stranger,
I should have never signed the that God dammed piece of paper.
_____________________________________________
"Community Service"
Seminole stickers on the wall,
And their not even mine,
Scratching my skin,
Starry eyed at the static tv sitting on my floor,
I have no door,
So privacy is limited,
Life takes a toll,
So I gotta pay it,
Although , I don't believe everything comes with a price,
Barricading the corners of mind,
Bordem strikes hard,
Letting down all your guard,
Sometimes I wonder what It would be like to be on LSD,
Will I break into tiny glass pieces all on my mothers floor,
Enter different relms by opening doors,
Life's not easy when part from yourself,
That's why you know yourself,
To be in the comfort and arms of someone you love,
please don't kid yourself.
_____________________________________________
"Cherish You"
*So much to take,
please be awake,
Before love,
There was you,
And for that,
I cherish you,*
Digital characteristic gal,
I would make you smile,
Who knew one day you'd be my pal,
And even the one,
Looking for fun,
We could see the rising of the sun,
That's today in society,
Don't care about things just the love and gleaming irony,
Screaming love me like you do when you're high!
Up in malibus,
Ripples dancing,
Making compilations,
We're not use to,
This isn't what you use to,
But there really only.....
*So much to take,
please be awake,
Before love,
There was you,
And for that,
I cherish you,*.
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 10:16 PM UTC
Nonchalant swipes, a branding spark.
Colons, dashes and asterisks - carefully arranged.
Soft whispers, quiet water, steamy breaths seen.
Smooth bellies, tender lips, musky smells imagined.
Alike paths cross, then twist away.
I miss what I've never had.
May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 4:44 PM UTC
today, my best friend’s
boyfriend pulled a bag of
coke out of his jacket
pocket at the restaurant
table. i asked him if he wanted to
****
himself. he said drugs have never been a
dial tone, the only people they
do any damage to are the ones who don’t know what they’re
doing. i was born holding these names in my
mouth: river, jimi, darby, amy, jim… and
i’ll die knowing how much they
weigh. drugs aren’t a
privilege. i knew this long before my best
friend found her boyfriend on his bathroom
floor, blood dripping out of his
mouth like a lost
lifeline, like a wounded
animal she could never have
saved. i know i’d rather kiss junkies than
angels but i don’t want to taste that
pain, i don’t want my
mouth to mean something more than it
does. drugs bring you to the
top of the tallest thing you know
of, then strike you like a lightning
bolt until you crash into the
ground like the grey sisters in nyc
did once. i asked if he wanted to ****
himself, and he never even
heard me.
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 12:59 PM UTC