#amnesia
In the attic,
on the dresser.
Past garbage eclectic
and faulty electrics.
There’s a dresser.
With its drawers all locked
like your head’s are.
So you climb
up the stairs
and you go
to that ***** little dresser,
and on it you see…
it
the album
you flip through it
faces you dont know
cant know
used to know
your head hurts
your parents
your grandparents
great-grandparents even
all their photos in this album
all the faces are blank to you
no eyes no mouths
theres something wrong with you
its still growing
infecting
So you put down the album.
Take ten steps back.
Down to the stairs you came from.
And you “learn” to forget about the pain you felt and the life you lost
in the attic.
On the dresser.
There was never anything there as far as you know now.
As far as you’ve ever known.
All you know is
…
something old is hurting you upstairs
May 24
May 24, 2026 at 3:14 PM UTC
I
The mind is a palimpsest of softened ink,
where names once carved in graphite authority
now blur into sedimented syllables.
I try to retrieve her face,
my middle-school best friend,
but memory returns it as negative space,
a photograph overexposed by time,
light eating the edges of her laughter.
II
There are rooms inside me
I no longer possess the keys for.
In one, my mother is folding sunlight into laundry.
In another, my voice is smaller,
unlearning how to apologize for existing.
I walk through these chambers
like a curator of abandoned exhibitions,
hands hovering over glass displays
that contain only the impression of objects.
III
What remains is not recall
but its residue:
a tremor of familiarity
when certain words pass through air,
a scent that insists it knew me first,
a street corner that refuses to confirm my history.
Even joy arrives mislabeled,
filed under something I cannot access.
IV
I make new days with meticulous devotion,
stacking them like translucent pages,
but the earlier volumes
have begun to unbind themselves
from the spine of my remembering.
And I grieve not only what is lost,
but the shape of loss itself,
how it changes me without permission.
V
Still, I am here
collecting fragments of a self
that keeps slipping its own archive.
If I cannot remember everything,
then I will become the quiet witness
to what remains anyway.
VI
Somewhere in this erosion,
I hope she is still intact,
my friend with a name I can almost hear,
standing in a season I cannot revisit
but still somehow miss.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 11:07 PM UTC
when I wake up
there’s a puzzle on the floor.
placed not last Wednesday,
but the one before.
I think I placed it there
the pieces white,
I fit them together
until its close enough to right
though I can’t quite see the image anymore
Oct 19, 2025
Oct 19, 2025 at 4:56 AM UTC
It’s anger no, it’s frozen grief;
hatred, deep—catharsis
flows in poetry.
Too cruel—to have left
a slit of good memory.
Mars blazes—open wounds,
shattering to vindictive dust.
Letters folded
like curled serpent hair
Why forget
a single Mnemosyne of trauma?
You blessed with amnesia;
someone: remembrance's curse.
Oct 6, 2025
Oct 6, 2025 at 5:27 AM UTC
The sinking has returned too fast.
I knew sanity wouldn't last -
but madness is here much too soon.
Electric amnesia returns to me.
Cacophonous thoughts breaking free
tear my feet from trembling ground.
My contradictory conscience
********** utter nonsense
across the face of my clean slate.
Peel back my shimmering rib cage,
see insomnia's grip of rage
still my dark heart into hurting.
Plunge me into freezing waters
where caught apathetic breath blurs
treading to sinking to drowning.
And I'm caught in the crawl spaces
between the in between places -
wretch to my opprobrious mind.
Not if but when sayeth the doc
to the tune of the ticking clock
willing me to wave the white flag
Madness is a graceless game.
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 4:01 PM UTC
I'm an anterograde amnesiac per se,
But I remember what you did say.
Dec 7, 2024
Dec 7, 2024 at 12:58 PM UTC
memories flickering, fading,
endless ocean waiting, wading,
closest kin and our best lived days,
lost now; in this minds murky maze
love-shared moments felt together,
all drift away; with no tether,
currents carry away from shore,
landless horizon forever more
pitiful buoy thrown overboard,
to accept presents false reward,
siren-like; drag you down with me,
engulfing all; this deep, blue sea
Dec 5, 2024
Dec 5, 2024 at 10:00 AM UTC
I forgot what I forgot,
So, I've moved on,
And happily so.
Was it someone's jibe,
Taken at me sadistically,
Or was it something else?
Sorry, I forgot,
I forgot that again,
But it's perfectly fine.
Sep 17, 2024
Sep 17, 2024 at 5:31 AM UTC
I don't hold any memories
Nothing that tells me what I like
Or that tells me what I was like
For all I know
The only place I do know
Is this bed of white sheets
Where I wake up each day
Every day these past two weeks
And the only person I know
Is that lady in white
Greeting me every morning with a smile
If nothing else, this sight
Has found its place in my mind
She showed me someone
Someone who claims to know me
Someone who went to school with me
I do not know him though
His 'me' resembled a butterfly
Flitting between the flowers in a garden
Giving each the attention deserved
Gracefully, without any reserve.
An image that felt quite foreign
To this husk that remains at present
Another day,
She showed me someone
Someone who claims to know me
Someone who shared my blood
I do not know her though
Her 'me' seemed like a wise cat
Knowing when to pick a fight
Knowing when to restrain its bite
Knowing how far of an arm's length
To keep itself away
From being too involved or too little
In any event of concern around it
I should learn from such a cat,
But I find it hard to believe I was that.
Yet another day,
She showed me someone
Someone who claims to know me
Someone who claims to love me
And also claims to love me as I am
I do not know her though.
Her 'me' painted a picture of a vase
Holding tulips and daisies,
Broken to bits yet held together
By some substance unfamiliar.
I can't seem to comprehend
How this vase stands on end
'Love,' she says, but it's only
One of many four lettered words
That fill the same space as 'vase'
As my days went by,
Meeting people who knew 'me'
A choice needed to be made.
Which one of the 'me's is me,
And which one shall continue being me?
The shell I am doesn't remember
Holding a butterfly, a cat or a vase
The person I am now
Doesn't owe any of them a place
Yet I wonder
Would it be wrong of me
If I chose one while forsaking the rest?
It's always a little easier
To trace over the lines already drawn
By someone who knew better
Should I be giving up
A chance at a clean slate?
A chance to let myself
Be free like a bird not caged
A chance to take a shape
Any 'me' has yet to take
I wouldn't know better
After all, the only place I know
Is this bed of white
And the only person I know
Is that lady in white
Aug 30, 2024
Aug 30, 2024 at 10:56 AM UTC
I expel smoke into the atmosphere
and think of all my ghosts this year.
I fumble the deck in search of fives
but still find the Jester half alive.
I stumble through old alleys
we used to go to, in search of songs.
But I do nothing right but fill valleys
with all of the right wrongs.
I absorb oaked *** into my veins
and felt hot tears in the rain.
All those moments — lost in time
the second you were no longer mine.
Jun 7, 2023
Jun 7, 2023 at 2:15 AM UTC
Memories plant the ability to look backwards on one’s reality
So that they may change
And realize what was worth the pain
And what was only a mistake.
Although wishing for amnesia
Makes for a painful breakup song
I doubt anyone would truly
Wish for something so cruel.
Self awareness revoked
Just sitting in a chair
Not even conscious
While staring at whatever lies right in front
Not understanding why people hug you
And why they're crying
Not understanding what
Crying even is
As the mumbles
Incomprehensible
Escape from chapped lips
And dire eyes
I wonder if you’d even know of your end.
Feb 15, 2021
Feb 15, 2021 at 8:02 PM UTC
The pendulum is a bull shark.
The hour of the savior is a pregnant bride's swan dive into the water.
The mighty mile is a figure 8 in the scoot of
non slop socks across the bare linoleum.
Blood and bright are the redness of the blanket.
divine terror at one hart beat per hour.
Finger nails green and black against a back drop
of the brightest, bluest eyes you've ever seen;
deep pools of liquid light that will shine when least expected.
And the obligation isn't one at all,
for when i breath in,
you breath out.
And when I gave consent 1000 years ago times 10-
you performed the exorcism under the shroud of my amnesia
and the spotted light from a crystal disco ball.
Shards of light moved upon the face of all the space between the stars.
My heart was in the highlands but now its in your hands.
Oct 2, 2020
Oct 2, 2020 at 8:15 PM UTC
I would tell me a joke but don't think I can laugh
Do not wanna waste a punchline
Open my mouth and hear my voice
The words spoken aren't mine
Syllables beyond recognition
Fail to accurately recite
The sentences arranged within
Speech not coming out right
Overlapping ideas in my brain
Equal a blurry picture
I guess depression plus memory loss
Makes for a terrible mixture
Sep 12, 2020
Sep 12, 2020 at 2:41 AM UTC
I got out of bed just to look at my alarm clock
To see how long I'd slept in for
I looked around my room for my glasses and hairbrush
And found nothing but an open drawer
To the left of me came a buzz, like a carpenter bee
And a glow that shone on the spine-lined wall
I wasn't expecting it to be you this early
In fact, I wasn't expecting you at all
Where did I see you last?
How did we meet?
What was your name behind that dim photograph?
You didn't say anything, and you wouldn't answer me
Am I wrong for forgetting?
And is this so out of my control?
Will You forgive me when I remember what I did?
Or will the pulse of my memory forever lose it's hold?
Aug 18, 2020
Aug 18, 2020 at 10:52 PM UTC
I tried taking a trip
down memory lane
but it was closed
to thru traffic
So I called the department
of transportation
and they told me
it was all in my head
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 10:04 PM UTC
amnesia
is an overthinkers
biggest enemy
and it strikes
when everyone else
is asleep
so that
the overthinkers
are left alone
with their thoughts
their favorite songs
with a pen and paper
and 26 letters
Mar 18, 2020
Mar 18, 2020 at 5:00 PM UTC
what if one day,
i wont remember who you are?
what if one moment will cause me,
to forget all the memories we share?
Will you take my hand?
and try to understand?
or will you let me go?
if you do, just please let me know
but i promise you, if you stay
i'll remember it all again one day
because i may forget who i was,
but never who i loved...
my heart won't forget you...
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 8:35 AM UTC
Your were the feather,
me the flight beneath your wings.
But we were never meant to soar,
people trying to shoot us down...
Your friends,
her plumage isn't pretty enough..
My mates,
well I saw him kissing another girl..
Funny that jealousy makes others
like a dodo.. unhappy that they
cant fly higher than us.
Because the days they said, like amnesia.
We were together handcuffed to each
others fingers,
never letting go.
We resisted arrest ending up in the bedroom.
Feathers flew that night.
You told me I was a masterpiece that only
you could admire, and your friends were
jealous that I
wasn't open all hours...
No i only had private screening in my life for one.
We flew higher than the stars,
never shooting across,
no we just huddled in the darkness close.
Feb 8, 2020
Feb 8, 2020 at 11:10 AM UTC
Keeper of time
Has lost his mind.
He no longer ticks.
He sighs.
He questions.
He swears a little.
Does he know who he is?
Not precisely.
I tell him he's a law, a sage, a determiner.
He's even the reason
I get up in the morning.
He says he'll get back to me.
When? I ask.
Ah, there's the rub...
Feb 12, 2020
Feb 12, 2020 at 6:02 PM UTC
Add some number to my 10ne1iness,
So when night comes,
I have something to count on.
Jan 22, 2020
Jan 22, 2020 at 1:54 AM UTC
An old photograph falls out of a folder,
Like a silent leaf in autumn, so silent,
That I wouldn't have noticed it, save
for the glint of the paper, reflecting,
the only lightbulb in my room.
What does the photograph show?
Is it a window to my soul? Is it
the ghost of my past, a thousand regrets
manifesting themselves like an apparition.
I do not recognize the boy in the photograph,
Memory doesn't serve me well anymore,
Moments like these are a lifetime away,
I have forgotten what it was like,
this past life that doesn't exist anymore.
Where is this place, the whitewashed pillars,
the tin roof, the stone walls, the vast cedar trees.
I remember faintly, voices, thoughts, emotions,
that I have lived in the life gone past,
come back to me.
And yet, all is still unfamiliar.
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 3:25 PM UTC
i think every night
tomorrow i'll be real
and stop acting like a fool.
i'll be my serious self,
leave the sugar at the door.
yet with the sun comes
the amnesia
"who am i?"
those three precious seconds,
then
"oh no"
i remember.
i dread the day.
the brushing of teeth
drinking of water
checking of phone
eating of pasta i will never finish
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 10:02 PM UTC