#allowed
“Am I allowed to be angry?
Tell me, and be honest,
am I allowed to feel?
‘Cause every time I open up,
your problems are a little larger.
And every time you complain,
I suffer a little.
I am not your therapist,
whose advice you don’t take.
I’m your friend.
Am I allowed to be angry?
Tell me, and be honest,
am I allowed to feel?
‘Cause when I let my anger
out in retaliation.
You are a little angrier.
When will I be allowed to be human?
When won’t I be a punchbag anymore?”
A.V.
May 29, 2025
May 29, 2025 at 1:36 PM UTC
managing mental health
wrapping head around
changing outlook views
wearing scars like a crowns
won’t help you to survive
without food on the table
without a chance to be well
it won’t matter
self taught lies
when problems are in real life
and you're not allowed yourself
Jan 23, 2025
Jan 23, 2025 at 7:24 PM UTC
To be able to talk to
And through
This paper with a pen
Has been
A god send
Not letting me break,
But letting me bend
Allowing me to mend,
Both my mangled heart and broken spirit,
Like a good friend
©2024
Sep 4, 2024
Sep 4, 2024 at 2:39 PM UTC
There's a pleading tone to this question I battle before and after I ask
A not so simple, "why can't I just let the past be the past?"
I know at first glance,
I'm nothing more than moth in a trance
Pinging off the same piece of backlit display glass
An abused mind easily transfixed, statue still and steadfast
While running summer Olympic qualifying fast, all gass
Feet growing roots, interlocking with blades of grass
A introspective narrative of an internal impasse
©2024
May 29, 2024
May 29, 2024 at 3:56 PM UTC
Given a hand to go hand in hand in the park
Only allowed to be enjoyed in the dark
And as I curse the idea of an always present silver lining
I notice it to be easier to witness the splendor of our spark
©2025
Apr 30, 2024
Apr 30, 2024 at 6:22 AM UTC
Live a short while
Then say to me
Where you are your sight enjoys what it sees
Year after year passes
Doesn't seem so bad
Until you compare the good memories once had
Life seems to darken and get worse
Your road forks
Becomes a haunting curse
My love it does not matter the choice of your direction
Explore the world
Every road holds imperfection
In awhile you will discover if you haven't by now
Happiness more than Earth will allow
Jan 27, 2021
Jan 27, 2021 at 9:58 AM UTC
Stop gold digging now
Rich with treasure already
She is pure diamond
Dec 12, 2020
Dec 12, 2020 at 12:37 AM UTC
your DNA is wild
so please,
take care
of your inner child
you may pass some challenging phases
although people don’t want you
to grow in certain places
so grow through concrete
in the middle of the street
grow in a litter bin
grow from dirt
grow in different directions
grow with imperfections
because your roots are strong
and you aim up high
until you reach the sky
so grow in every angle you want to
because there’s a wildflower in you.
- gio
Nov 8, 2020
Nov 8, 2020 at 1:09 PM UTC
God saw it
He allowed it
He is always here
by my side.
Cynthia Jean
copyright 2.8.2020
Feb 9, 2020
Feb 9, 2020 at 12:36 AM UTC
If they tell you,
Make it pretty
Make it nice
Be subtle and precise
Shiny but not too bright
Smile then laugh, but don’t snort -
Not ladylike
One more thing... don’t cry,
Black streaks will ruin your attire.
You can tell them,
OR
I can make it pretty and loud
Assertive and proud
Ladylike if I like
Be boisterous if I must
I can dress it up, dress it down
Twirl and dance around
Show my tears to the crowd
And then laugh because that’s life
Also,
I can snort, that’s allowed!
May 2, 2019
May 2, 2019 at 9:47 PM UTC
I used to tell myself that I was never a pretty girl
I allowed someone's opinion clout my world
I doubted everything I could do
I allowed someone's thought influence me too
Only now:
I am confident wearing my flaws
From head to toe, I know I have it all
I know I'm not perfect but, I indeed have great skills
To all those before, you no longer have the power of my wills
Mar 29, 2019
Mar 29, 2019 at 10:02 PM UTC
I don't understand why destiny allowed some people to meet when there's no way for them to be together.
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 3, 2018 at 9:52 AM UTC
Tell me what you expected
All the stress became too much
I thought I was strong enough to handle
Sadness breaking when we touch
The memories are tainted now
Frame after frame, pictures taken
Showing same smiles we've always had
But looking back pain awakens
Can't help but pick apart each scene
Stare at our frozen expressions
Trying to figure what really went on
After burning fateful make-out sessions
I guess I will never know
Probably less agony that way
Think I rub salt into my own wounds
Reopen them every dreaded day
Haven't I suffered enough?
Accepted much heartache at your hand?
Never thought we would be here today
I don't expect you to understand
It was my fault you thought I wouldn't leave
Allowed you to push me aside, disjoint
Of course you were sure I'd stay forever
But each person has a breaking point
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 17, 2018 at 5:50 PM UTC
Though thine two grown
former babes in crib age,
now lead checkered lives,
no longer monopolize my time
as though their persons went backstage
either one embracing, judging,
and negotiating positive
chutes and ladders with courage
evoking glee this papa
helped both beautiful lasses
avoid being risk averse
navigating life with minimal damage
though to get ahead of the class,
(asper the eldest Eden Liat)
credit karma fairly and squarely attributed
to herself with encourage
meant from this papa, who oft time
felt he lacked any clue
akin to a hobbled battleship left
to drift at sea, whence,
upon landfall sub
sequent lee forced to forage
in a foreign dominion (akin to being
among Settlers of Catan),
plus devoid of instruments to gauge,
an optimal strategic operation,
thus figuratively groping in the dark
(unaware of a brewing twister)
guided by blind faith
doth admit saying sorry,
but apologetic homage
would disqualify thyself,
a "FAKE" mastermind
undeserving of just desserts,
unfairly via diktat plucking sweet treats
awash within Candy Land,
a deceptive image
entrancing, luring and, spellbinding
ultimately incurring trouble,
particularly when Shana Aubrey
(younger by about
twenty six months)
garnered lion's share of parental attention
necessitated mandatory intervention
due to language
skills, plus pronounced
developmental delay,
where supreme social service
sages gentle massage
wrought divine prestidigitation
as one after another
case worker did overencourage
to counteract congenital
cognitive setback (coalesced in utero),
now finds das dada envious
(cuz, aye got mired, hogtied,
and bogged down with
obsessive compulsive trivial pursuit,
hence warrant so lucky as thee Punim)
steers ship shape body electric
round her uncharted cerebral
cape of good hope passage.
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 11:00 AM UTC
A written account (that incorporates some
self directed hyperbole) of this veritable stranger
now appears before your screen. Soon
after reading this message, the neighbors
might discern a blood curdling series
of (hyena-like) shrieking screams.
No worry. That would be the mating call
of the hairy Harris mama bear.
Ready! Set! Click!
A scary reflection greets me whenever
I summon up enough steely courage to take
a sneak peek into the mirror. Before
spider lines start to appear across the
shiny surface and subsequent cracks
and fissures dissolve the glassy surface
these deux hazel colored, myopic be
spectacled eyes quickly absorb a most
frightful countenance and visage.
That near legendary and trademark feature
of longish, wavy and brown straggly hair
seems to fill the entire view. Hidden among
avant garde rhapsodic bohemian, Cro-Magnon,
Neolithic, non-every-man style of un-styled
non dread full locks (interspersed with silver follicles
indicative of acquired worry fighting off
garden variety prehistoric creature) can be discerned
a brutish, nasty and short proto-human with
high forehead, which allows, enables and provides
more skin surface to bang against wall when frustrated.
My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck
(I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth
never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped
(fried or scrambled some might argue) head.
A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular
regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding routine.
Exercise (as well as meditation) a vital part of my
daily program to deal with the ordinary stresses
of primitive existence. Coffee happens to be the
sotto voce sole vice, which exotic brews provide
helpful jump-start. I sometimes even chump on cup
kept teeth sharp. That unproductive habit came
to a screeching halt after breaking every pearly white.
Now to that locale known as the trumpeting ****
pull stilts skin. Although the unseen forces of biology
and genetics dealt me an itsy bitsy, tiny *****
(which serves as the but for fellow Apes to taunt
and tease) such anatomical feature offers little
value as the worthiness of ****** prowess.
This palm pilot sized gluteus Maximus offers one benefit.
Ease to squeeze into tight spaces without getting stuck.
This tiny ***** accompanied by a vestigial and
teeny-weensy ****** schnitzel of a phallus, which
undersized **** a doodle do doth bulge into
an erectile state within shooting distance of
coveted warm, wet and wooly private world
property of each and every woman.
A pair of skinny (flamingo like) legs (covered in
adequate hair) now completes this general character sketch.
Feb 1, 2018
Feb 1, 2018 at 4:52 PM UTC
debating whether i am allowed
to go out of the house at 8pm
or not
“because i might get *****
debating whether i am allowed
to wear that skirt that goes little above my knees
or not
“because i might get *****
debating whether i am allowed
to meet up with a guy
or not
“because i might get *****
debating whether i am allowed
to stay at my friends house when they have older brothers
or not
“because i might get *****
debating whether i am allowed
to go on a school trip
or not
“because i might get *****
Do you see this?
Do you see the reason they give for a woman to not do certain things?
****
How can we live in this world
peacefully
when we have to fear for our lives
almost every moment
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 3:10 PM UTC
*Umm...hey
May I ask,
If I even dare to,
Is it okay
If I touch you?...
No, No...
What are you
Thinking?
I didn't mean it
Like that...
I just want
To stroke your cheek,
Pat your back
Or something
Like that...
Ehh...?
It's really okay?
Well then...
I won't
Hold back...
I said
As I let my fingers
Run through your hair
Man...it's soft
Just like a newborn's...
I stroked your cheek
While looking
Into your eyes
And suddenly I
Found myself blushing...
Why was it
That I wanted
To touch you?
And why do I always smile
When I'm near you?...
The truth hit me
Like a lightning bolt
Finally after years
I discovered
That I was
In love...
I'm still looking
Into your eyes
And I feel that I
Had a raise
In my body temperature...
Longing to touch you
This time
In a not so decent way
I looked once more
Into your eyes
And then I said...
Umm...hey
Can I touch you?...
And if possible
Can you touch me
too?...
And is it okay
If I tell you
That I
Love you...?
Can we whisper
Soft words
To each other
And never let go
Of each others hands?...
Can we become
Old together?...
Just like the relationship
You have
With your minivan?...
But right now
Let's not speak
About the future
Let's just focus
On the here and now
And just enjoy
Each other....
'Cause all
That I want to do
Right now
Is to touch you
And feel your touch
On me too...
So I'll ask you
Once more
Is it okay
If I touch you?...*
Mar 24, 2016
Mar 24, 2016 at 11:00 AM UTC
In our life people come and go, that's true.
But sometimes we're the one who come, the one who go.
It could be also the one who let go...
Not until the time I'm allowed to stay in your life again,
let me say this phrase "arigatou sayonara :) "
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016 at 10:03 PM UTC
I am allowed to hate you.
I am allowed to spit your name out of my mouth.
I am allowed to cry acid tears.
I am allowed to guard my heart.
I am allowed to not speak to you for years.
I am allowed to drink more than I should.
I am allowed to miss you, still.
But what I am not allowed to do,
what I will never be allowed to do is
think that I am not allowed to find love again.
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 14, 2015 at 3:22 PM UTC
The Puppeteers Master
Controlling all his strings
All his movements
All his thoughts
But never the Puppeteers Puppets
The Puppeteers Puppets
Being controlled by the already controlled
Their strings tugging and pulling
To be free
To be honest to themselves
The Puppeteer
Stuck in between
Never allowed freedom
Never giving freedom
But always thinking
About what it'd be like
Being the ultimate Master of everyone else
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 3:10 PM UTC
So when my dreams came true
When I got everything I wanted,
I was overcome with joy.
Because desire isn't wrong &
You are allowed to be wildly happy
by being uncommonly blessed.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 5:21 PM UTC