#alexithymia - Hello Poetry

Sometimes I sit there after something happens and try to understand what I'm feeling It always ends with me reeling I try to pick out the colors in the vortex But it never leaves my cortex People say when they feel a strong emotion, they see hues But I don't think that's a rule Because whenever I feel a strong emotion, I see brown even when I feel down When I know I should see blues But I've never seen that hue Nor have I spoken about what I saw I can't, I can try, but it always comes out like a misdraw in a stack of cards Maybe I'm the shard That'll never fit But then someone says "OMG, are you alright? How are you feeling? That sure would make me mad." and I'm hit The voices are all around me, overlapping, mixing telling me I should feel one way or another, it feels restricting What should I feel? What should I see? What is this feeling deep in my bones? because everyone seems to disagree after everything that's been spoken I don't think I'm broken I think I'm just stuck in an ocean of brown

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Mar 7

Mar 7, 2026 at 7:30 PM UTC

7-Flavors-Of-Bones

Brown.

Sometimes I sit there after something happens and try to understand what I'm feeling It always ends with me reeling I try to pick out the colors in the vortex But it never leaves my cortex People say when they feel a strong emotion, they see hues But I don't think that's a rule Because whenever I feel a strong emotion, I see brown even when I feel down When I know I should see blues But I've never seen that hue Nor have I spoken about what I saw I can't, I can try, but it always comes out like a misdraw in a stack of cards Maybe I'm the shard That'll never fit But then someone says "OMG, are you alright? How are you feeling? That sure would make me mad." and I'm hit The voices are all around me, overlapping, mixing telling me I should feel one way or another, it feels restricting What should I feel? What should I see? What is this feeling deep in my bones? because everyone seems to disagree after everything that's been spoken I don't think I'm broken I think I'm just stuck in an ocean of brown

27

For if it were someone else, Or something else, Something unavoidable, I would let it slide. As we grew older, our dreams and ambitions, our sprinkle and sparkle, thoughts and decisions, would slowly alter. For if my own body and mind would deny it, I still crave you, crave you, with each fibre of my being. You may have hurt me, hurt me beyond repair. Hurt me so that I had to put on a mask and play out my role. My role, of forever having my memories engraved in my skull, but with a cheerful smile and carry on. Sometimes loving you was hard, sometimes it was almost impossible. But never had I regretted or had my love for you fade. Despite that, hearing what I did, gave me a shiver down my spine. As I finally realized, that I was only a tool, made to love unconditionally. Love someone that had me replaced with a flick of a finger, with no regrets and sorrow. Without caring if I were to survive exiled as if it was all for nought. In truth, I survived, I got reborn. I had my wounds all patched up, my memories erased and replaced. Although, there is something, something deep inside me, a piece which would remain to be void. That, this is a part, which I am forever cursed to carry in me, my final long and everlasting, piece of art. For when my last moments come, I am sure that my last beat, would be for you.

0

Dec 9, 2018

Dec 9, 2018 at 12:56 AM UTC

Fading

An Alexithymic's confession

For if it were someone else, Or something else, Something unavoidable, I would let it slide. As we grew older, our dreams and ambitions, our sprinkle and sparkle, thoughts and decisions, would slowly alter. For if my own body and mind would deny it, I still crave you, crave you, with each fibre of my being. You may have hurt me, hurt me beyond repair. Hurt me so that I had to put on a mask and play out my role. My role, of forever having my memories engraved in my skull, but with a cheerful smile and carry on. Sometimes loving you was hard, sometimes it was almost impossible. But never had I regretted or had my love for you fade. Despite that, hearing what I did, gave me a shiver down my spine. As I finally realized, that I was only a tool, made to love unconditionally. Love someone that had me replaced with a flick of a finger, with no regrets and sorrow. Without caring if I were to survive exiled as if it was all for nought. In truth, I survived, I got reborn. I had my wounds all patched up, my memories erased and replaced. Although, there is something, something deep inside me, a piece which would remain to be void. That, this is a part, which I am forever cursed to carry in me, my final long and everlasting, piece of art. For when my last moments come, I am sure that my last beat, would be for you.

25

I told you I didn't like your present Your face harden On your face I sort of get a hint of a resent And then it all started Took your present, my face still dull You looked sad? Closed your present that was wrapped in many skulls Maybe you were mad? Later I explained I didn't hate your gift, I just didnt like the fact You knew I couldn't be surprised, and you were hoping for me to act As if you pulled a blanket from the emotions I had stacked Maybe by now you were enraged I have faced many of these situations And every single one of them Because of this silly condition My emotions are like a stem Missing it's beautiful and colourful flower petals Lacking emotions is the only thing I am entitled

0

Oct 3, 2017

Oct 3, 2017 at 12:58 PM UTC

ShinHarin

Your face

I told you I didn't like your present Your face harden On your face I sort of get a hint of a resent And then it all started Took your present, my face still dull You looked sad? Closed your present that was wrapped in many skulls Maybe you were mad? Later I explained I didn't hate your gift, I just didnt like the fact You knew I couldn't be surprised, and you were hoping for me to act As if you pulled a blanket from the emotions I had stacked Maybe by now you were enraged I have faced many of these situations And every single one of them Because of this silly condition My emotions are like a stem Missing it's beautiful and colourful flower petals Lacking emotions is the only thing I am entitled

19

I know who you are, You are my star. I know where you are, We are at your favourite bar. But being next to you, Makes me wonder just who you are next to? I am at your line of vision, But between me and them, theres a division. You're staring at me, But you're not looking where you should be. The more I am next to you, The more I actually miss you.

0

Oct 3, 2017

Oct 3, 2017 at 12:35 PM UTC

ShinHarin

Where are you?

I know who you are, You are my star. I know where you are, We are at your favourite bar. But being next to you, Makes me wonder just who you are next to? I am at your line of vision, But between me and them, theres a division. You're staring at me, But you're not looking where you should be. The more I am next to you, The more I actually miss you.

12

You are sacred, It’s always you getting lost in my dreams For I loved you once and again I will Connect to your disjointed mind You are scared, It’s always this rhythm that collides us For I loved you then and again I will Encase in your apathy and cold touch I am shaken, It’s always me who try to dig deeper For we blame the wind for the bygones Stricken by the thunder ***** we lay I am strong, It’s buried in us to burn in desire For I wish to uncover the emotional blindness Hold the gem of your heart tenderly

0

Apr 29, 2016

Apr 29, 2016 at 3:24 PM UTC

SassyJ

Alexithymia

You are sacred, It’s always you getting lost in my dreams For I loved you once and again I will Connect to your disjointed mind You are scared, It’s always this rhythm that collides us For I loved you then and again I will Encase in your apathy and cold touch I am shaken, It’s always me who try to dig deeper For we blame the wind for the bygones Stricken by the thunder ***** we lay I am strong, It’s buried in us to burn in desire For I wish to uncover the emotional blindness Hold the gem of your heart tenderly

16

Your imprint's emplacement Massed fate's apogee, Where words become pavement Whilst time sets them free. Too bad you didn't like it. I actually wanted to make you feel special. I don't write love poems For this reason.

0

Feb 18, 2016

Feb 18, 2016 at 5:02 AM UTC

Maples

Bear Synergy (No Longer)

Your imprint's emplacement Massed fate's apogee, Where words become pavement Whilst time sets them free. Too bad you didn't like it. I actually wanted to make you feel special. I don't write love poems For this reason.

8