#alarming
So scraps are what I have to show
Find myself amidst the undertow
A pathetic pile of perfumed dreams
Like pretending life is greater than it seems
This multiverse molded with illusions and tricks
To knock you down just for kicks
Nothing glamorous about depression
A void that leaves the deepest impression
Feeling like rocks loaded onto my back
As if gravity is out of whack
Attempting to rise off the floor
Each movement leaves muscles sore
Past mistakes written in blood
Try but fail washing away with a flood
So sick and tired staying the same
Doubt and fear the scapegoats to blame
Reasons irrelevant nevertheless
Little extra effort might lead to success
I am aware everything is bound to fall apart
One by one shards will chip off my heart
I attempt reassembling it with some glue
To give it away like deja vu
These choices I cannot explain
Behavior proof I must be insane
Wasting more minutes than I have to spare
Fish out of water and I'm gasping for air
Can't you see I'm drowning?
A sea of my regrets
Ghosts dancing on horizon staring at their silhouettes
I think about years I continue to let slip through my hands
I'm so exhausted chasing answers to a puzzle I don't understand
Scared to admit this the extent of what I'll become
Wonder if I'll ever escape the place that I am from
I yearn to love now like I loved back then
Believe in magic and forever again
But hopeful naivete faded along with the sparkle in my eye
Like while I've been in limbo best opportunities passed me by
In a cerebral cage confidence confined by bars
Self-acceptance shackled by a multitude of scars
I am sorrier than lips will ever audibly speak
Unsure if my dungeon will let me discover the exit I desperately seek
This nightmare of creation darkens at an alarming rate
Need to wake up from this coma I'm in before it is too late
Feb 10, 2025
Feb 10, 2025 at 1:27 AM UTC
I'm almost most certainly about to break
It's only a matter of time but I hate the wait
Holding that familiar panic feeling I can't shake
Leading to a heated, one sided, debate
Pitting good faith against bad take
They're getting more alarming at an alarming rate
Basically arguing that everything's but what's fake is fake
Completely oblivious, a bad trait if you know what's at stake
Because BAM, in a flash, I awaken at my own wake
"Excuse me, there must be some kind of mistake"
But I must admit, the casket occupant is concrete proof I'm far too late
©2024
Jun 13, 2024
Jun 13, 2024 at 12:07 PM UTC
I don't know who I think I am, but I ain't
Ain't shiit, ain't a saint, track record ain't great
I battle free will and fate over ornate quips with no stake in reality but won't vacate
I'll always acknowledge everyone that has filed a legitimate complaint
I eat nonstop, still too much on my plate
With this much weight, it's gonna break
Losses stacking at an alarming rate
Losing track of where I'm at in this debate
The one on good and evil and people that doesn't seem to translate
Breathed life into a mistake
I'm what I thought he couldn't make
But here I am
With almost nothing left at stake
Never heard the last boarding call whistle for moving on, left stranded at the departure gate
It never has before, I don't know why I thought it would wait
And being in the state of mind I'm in, my best guess for what the *** is happenin' is not elaborate
I was simply destin to be too late
Or maybe it was destiny that was early but I shouldn't fixate
'Cause either way, the screen says game over and on the board...
...checkmate
©2024
Feb 2, 2024
Feb 2, 2024 at 6:19 PM UTC
(song)
Dark is older than light so that might be why fright is what I'm accustomed to
Neither vast nor confined, maybe both at the same time, it leaves no clue
I don't know how to get my point across to you to help you to see what it is I go through
It's a nothing that consumes my everything, there's not a thing you can compare it to
Similes only vaguely paint the picture, but it helps to toss in a few
If there was only a wind that blew, even once, maybe it would bring a familiar view
But this void in its vastness brings nothing new, allows nothing to continue
It's the solvent to my glue, everything I've done it's managed to uproot and undo
And it's so quiet but yet this silent surrounding is deafening to an alarming degree
In it I use to find beauty, now it's my captor, one of which I'll never be set free
And it's convinced me, or maybe I've convinced myself that I am unworthy
Of anything else and its that false certainty that cleverly keeps me in captivity
I carelessly embraced this darkness that slowly replaced the old me entirely
I scream, cry then whimper softly as the misery slowly embodies me
Then lay back in submittance, in silence and plea for swift mercy
I can't stay in this purgatory so give me my life back or take it from me completely
I feel numb, I feel numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing, nothing, nothing...
I feel numb, I'm so numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing here for me
I had light once, I actually got to hold it
But it was a betrayal, only staying for a moment
In its wake the dark returned to claim what was stolen from it
The door was too heavy, I couldn't shut it
The nothing engulfed my everything, I couldn't outrun it
Panic set like quick cement, begin to sweat, my feet became heavy, I began to resent and regret
All those scary movies I watched 'cause I knew for sure that this was it
But that's just it
Nothing happened, I literally mean nothing was the constant
No up, no down, no light, no sound, I couldn't even pick up a sent
Then in an instant it hit me, before my head hit the pavement, I knew what it all meant
Light, so faint and vulnerable, so young and naive
It didn't stand a chance against the dark, give a **** what you believe
Just because you achieve a small glimpse of hope don't think you'll never grieve
When your life starts to unweave that's when the dark races in like a thief
Every religion and belief labels it differently depending on the way they perceive
They have to cause a mind can't conceive it so it almost has to make it make believe
But please believe this is real, don't mis conceive
Best heed my warning cause once you're here you can never leave
I feel numb, I feel numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing, nothing, nothing...
I feel numb, I'm so numb, I feel nothing, there's just nothing here for me
©2022
May 8, 2022
May 8, 2022 at 5:03 AM UTC
THE REQUEST OF THE GIRL WHO DID NOT EVEN COME TO THIS WORLD!
mom don't die me.
let me come to the world mom,
i also have some dreams mom,
i also want to play in your lap mom,
mom don't die me.
YOU WANT TO **** ME BECAUSE OF THAT ***** SOCIETY WHERE GIRLS HAVE NO IDENTITY!
mom don't die me.
let me come to the world mom,
i want to tell the world,
girl' hand is not just for domestic work,
who think that such shameful and bad things mom.
i want to come just once mom.
FEMALE FOETICIDE KILLING CASES INCREASES DAY BY DAY IT'S A SHAMEFUL INCIDENT.
FOR THIS REASON THE *** RATIO HAS DECREASED SIGNIFICANTLY.
WE SHOULD END IT!
Jul 7, 2020
Jul 7, 2020 at 11:28 PM UTC
Beep
I’m going to go out there
Beep
I mean this is just
Beep
ridiculous
BEEP
I’m not even mad at-
BEEP
whoever broke in, I-
BEEP
just want to sleep
beep beep
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 11:15 AM UTC
a grave disturbance
dwelt within his mind
relentless was the mumble-
jumble of killing kind
peers were targeted
students at a high school
the omnipresence of a
rifle's terrifying sool
alarming mental issues
not being swiftly addressed
the corridors of his thoughts
so psychologically obsessed
young victims slain
a sad and sorry event
to-day Florida was bequeathed
his dysfunctional bent
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 5:55 PM UTC
Over and over again this memory bombards my head,
but it is a memory I never experienced.
Visions of another life, or maybe the moment I was pronounced dead.
The feeling is so real. Yes it feels visceral,
I mean this feeling is so alarming.
Every time I live this waking dream, a dark feeling comes over me.
The closest thing I can relate it to is impending doom, wondering if it comes, if it will be soon.
Mar 29, 2017
Mar 29, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC
I've been called
A freak
A ******
A headcase
I've been told that
I'm crazy
I'm insane
I'm bizzare
I've heard my actions are
Alarming
Unsettling
Offbeat
All of this may be true
But it's me.
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 4:59 PM UTC