#ahab
The sea sounds as I try to think
Anger and vengeance
turn my blood into ink
One day we'll come face to face
This letter is for the ultimate debt-collector
Please, deliver
to the white disgrace
Behind the horizon
Nature's clock sets
Waking up sleep
Behind the waves, you better hide
I'll let the anchor of work
Drag me to the deep
Granting you another night.
Mar 24, 2021
Mar 24, 2021 at 7:35 AM UTC
Done with thinking because that's for god to do
I am just this appendage of a greater consciousness
Ahab is blameless
in his small existence
Don't quote me
quote Herman and Freddy Nietzsche
They and their hermits
coming down from the mountains
to declare they ought to have
loved their fate all along
Amor fati
Why couldn't we have been stuck in the herd all along
guys who get love and happiness effortless
no need to spend their life in anguish
searching through tomes
found in tombs for eons and eons
enhancing their social aloofness
and their unremembered trauma
'till those sad souls give those pansies confidence
to leave an exegesis of their own
Too smart kid
that decried Christ and
the shadows of a god all around
only to find the search for truth was hopeless
Find a way to dumbly enjoy life again
and you only say again cause
that's all we can control
our memories
and we too often forget
our thought habits
the pre-neolithic mind tricks
on ourselves
Too many MLMs profiting off false mindfulness
missing the point beyond exercise
and short stress relief
Change your thought patterns to love your destiny
That's the best we have
to pretend to have control in this ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶ hole
Jul 10, 2020
Jul 10, 2020 at 8:49 AM UTC
One long endless night passes yet again,
Never mind counting sheep, I’m now counting flocks.
The days blur into dreams of classics...
I am Ahab, and sleep becomes my whale!
Countless twinkling lights mock me through the open window
Judging me from their perch in the night sky above.
I eat another bowl of meaningless carbs,
Hoping the article on my Twitter feed wasn’t just fluff,
I load and reload the harpoon, as I miss my shot time and time again.
I fade again. Woozy now. Eyes slow blinking...
The whale is smiling, it's tail flipping, and mouth all grinning, stabbing teeth. I fire and miss.
He laughs, ignoring this, and drenches me in ****
He flashes me a toothy grin as he disappears underwater.
He isn't coming back.
My bed becomes a porcupine.
My pillow becomes a stone.
My blanket becomes a sheet of burs woven by the Norns.
My eyelids become coarse-grade sandpaper.
My back becomes a banshee screeching in pain.
My legs become restless deer who sense a nearby wolf.
My hair begins growing perversely inward.
My bladder becomes the Trevi Fountain in Rome.
My thoughts become the last horses running the Triple Crown.
My heart becomes a double bass playing Skeletons of Society.
He appears again, far away from my ship, head turning in the distance, pity on his face.
He turns back toward the open sea and is gone.
I perform a complex horizontal maneuver
That CNN’s Dr. Gupta said soothes "The sleepless body at night".
(He’s a ******* liar!)
The melting white whale becomes a series rectangles above me,
They form a drop ceiling,
With sprayed-on popcorn, and unexplained little holes
That provide me with a giant connect-the-dots ceiling!
WHEN suddenly a shrill, repeating, soul-crushing
Cacophony wracks what little sanity remains within me, trapped in this never-ending, soul-crushing trap of mind-numbing numbidity...
It's that God-forsaken, three-inch square, , ***** capitalist son-of-a-bitch-of-a-red-blinking-bastard-of-a-heartless-mother telling me it’s time to start a new day...
**** you alarm!
I still haven’t finished the last one.
Sep 21, 2019
Sep 21, 2019 at 8:19 PM UTC
I know what it is
To want revenge
To believe that
Killing my own
White Whale
Would give back
What I've lost to it
I know what it is
To lose all of myself
To the things
That only wanted
Parts of me
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 4, 2018 at 6:29 PM UTC
Devotion makes a good story.
Should an obsession take precedent
Over every other aspect of life.
Yes, that is a story worth hearing.
What such things would people,
Give up life and limb for?
What such things would people,
Cast aside all ties to achieve?
I would hear such things,
I would ponder them.
I breathe such obsessions
Heavy and addicting.
To lose everything for a singular purpose.
Compelling, it’s intoxicating.
Should I find such a cause,
I’m sure will be the death of me.
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 7, 2017 at 8:14 PM UTC
Ahoy Captain Courageous!
Cleave not thy ship from soul
Past heaving swell through
Stormy sleet this spellbinding
Siren to seek.
Away thee, Ahab! More than
Whale, this mistress heaps
Thy spirit to take thee
Deep ‘neath sandy shoal.
She sings... clings... captures.
Pour over rocks
Impudent-ass officer
Soon torn and tattered.
You know better than
Fools before thee!
Yea!
Your liquor lapses
Dead man dreaming!
Admirals and angels
Have fallen
Afore thee… oh wise one,
Ha!
Like notches on a barrel
Your soul… she’ll tow on her tale.
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 9:21 PM UTC
it's nice to know it's not for naught
there's value in what can't be bought
where my plans convene with thought
i invest different kind of plot
honeycomb are to the bees
as madness is to mysteries
and are polite priorities
nectar of insecurities?
the recounted sheep are bleating/(bleeding)
cry of wolf to deaf misleading
as i bray again repeating
every note so self-defeating
thrown about the limbs of trees
chaos with-in-discrepancies
that which we melt just to freeze
wring tangles such as these
my journey is while they sleep
shepherdess lost counted sheep
the edge, again, to fall or leap
for flight first failure grade so steep
My white whale wild in the seas
This ship no sail, nor north agrees
Ever-spurning taste of tease
I am ahabs intricacies
to illusion am i ******
eternally roaming the land
through burning thirst for empathy
-i'm plagued with insecurity
in an old biblical story
mortal glimpsed our father's glory
From that instant's blinding light
was driven mad took his own sight
if i could measure and define
truth and where it draws the line
which cliff faces only mine
encases truly, i am fine
chronic illness violently
supressing luminocity
onlookers hang silently
as ash consume ferocity
speed builds on tracks in my train
I know this is too fast, again
upon myself, 'you dare complain,
without reference to real pain?'
all avert their eyes, refrain
saying nothing is my bane
am i alone and insane?
this focus that i can't explain?
creating reason for my pain
purpose for and by diseased brain
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 1:00 AM UTC