#acl
The pain starts hot,
Sharp,
Electric,
A stab in my nerves,
Violent and jarring.
Then it fades to a dull ache,
Simmering at a constant.
White noise in my bone marrow.
Tv static between my tendons.
It never quite leaves,
Just rises and falls,
Crashes and ebbs.
My biggest fear is it will never go away,
Completely.
I take a pill,
Something small, over the counter.
It doesn't fix anything.
Then another,
Doubling the dose,
The recommended max is a suggestion,
After all.
It's no respite from the feeling of my knee
Collapsing upon itself, spinning, folding,
And tearing over and over again.
So, I take another pill,
Tiny, white, something stronger,
Prescription.
It doesn't fix anything,
It doesn't hit the same,
As it did the first time.
It's a cycle,
I get cold to it,
But the pain always starts hot.
5d ago
May 30, 2026 at 5:04 AM UTC
Out of ever cut,
Every gaping incision,
Made by a desperate hand.
This is the first, injury,
That has hurt.
The first time pain wasn't followed,
By relief.
This time it just,
Lingers.
Stagnant in the air,
Suffocating.
Out of every emergency room visit,
Every hospital stay,
This is the first that wasn't my fault,
That wasn't intentional.
This is the first scar,
Out of hundreds,
That might fade,
But it will never go away.
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 11:01 PM UTC
What if,
I'm never the same.
What if I step into the ring,
Onto the field,
And I hesitate.
I hesitate because I remember the sound,
Of me tendon snapping in two,
Because I relive the nights rithing in pain,
Because I remember the moments I missed,
Confined to my bed like a prisoner.
What if,
I'll never be as good,
As I was?
All because of one miss step,
One stumble.
What if?
Apr 28
Apr 28, 2026 at 10:43 PM UTC
Keep Austin Weird
local slogan, motto, claim
Musicians, officials, and the Major
each, and all, proclaimed
But in years since it's greatness
the Music Capitol of the World
SXSW, I'm sure, you've heard
with rainbow flags, unfurled
ACL, it's own music stage
greats that come and go
***** Blonde, and Rosanne Cash
within that venue, putting on, a show
As with everything, not normal fare
and with government tangled in
******* it up, beyond compare
it's just another fail political
where no-one really wins
May 22, 2017
May 22, 2017 at 2:23 PM UTC
I just woke from experiencing what it felt to be free
of a doctrine, of this overlying immense pressure to be righteous and respectful,
that which I've inherited from my own expectations and from those of whom I admire.
I had been touched by something even bigger than my own self perseverance-
than my connections between "the wise,"
than my science that I hold so dear.
It's almost indescribable- so bear with me
as I dig through my consciousness for a dream that could just be a great answer to our confusions.
I felt myself sifting through a softened solid
that was smooth and sunset-hued.
It stretched around me but went through me all the same.
It was warm but refreshing.
It cleared away the dichotomies, the questions, the labels into a vast spaciousness that couldn't ever make me feel loneliness because in this clear space,
there was you.
In a raw form- without explanations, without excuses, without fear,
without the taste of another on your lips,
without the pressure to exist.
Just you, and your experience floating around and through you,
in the most beautiful colors I've ever seen you don.
It was just you, and it was just me,
in soft solids of insight.
When I stepped forward, I saw your life around you,
not my interpretation riddled with negative and positive energies,
but the sights and sounds that created an indefinite understanding.
With the sunsets swimming around them.
As I got closer I began to notice my own life,
spirits of the past grazing my skin gently
and gingerly.
And when we finally were face to face,
in what might be nano-seconds
our eyes were not expectations but one,
our lips were not provocations but one,
our bodies were not vehicles but one.
And it felt comfortably fluid as we walked together in something I can only liken to acceptance.
It was fleeting, however.
I was pulled out of this by the hands of 3 AM on a Tuesday, my disappearing fever,
and desire to relieve myself from all of the water I consumed before bedtime.
The lingering feeling of insight and acceptance urged me to write,
and expel the overwhelming emotion of wishing I never woke up.
I couldn't stop sobbing
and I hadn't a clue why.
I guess it was because in this dream
I came to know
the world is crumbling around us
and all we can see are the demands and the means to be something other than oneness.
We choose be chained by these requirements,
because living in this world is not the safety of the amniotic sac that we leave behind in the past.
We should know that we could relive that every time we create something we strongly believe doesn't have to last.
I'm not sure who I've lost,
or what I've found-
but I can hope
it's knowing that we may not ever precisely touch what love is despite how much we try to render it through words
and actions,
a definitive language that gives us its tangibility.
But it can touch us.
It can touch us into being one again,
if we put our lives on pause,
It can touch us if we let it.
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 2, 2016 at 1:08 PM UTC