#ace
And one day when you push everyone that tries to love you away with no exceptions and understanding (because no one owes you any), you'll sit and think about me. The person that accepted every flaw and distortion, the one that cried in their sleep while you suspected nothing. The one that begged and begged, not for change, nor for closure and an explanation.
You'll realise, ironically, too late it was a mistake – pushing the purest form of love away; love that burned even 1997 km away; you will feel what I did, but too late. Or maybe not, I'll hold on until eternity if it means this is real, so fix yourself.
I'm still here.
With love, R
Mar 18
Mar 18, 2026 at 8:22 PM UTC
"have you met any cute guys yet?"
no mom I like girls
"do you have a boyfriend?"
no mom I like girls
"no dating any guys until your 18"
mom. I like girls.
no matter how many times I tried to tell her
it was always
"are you sure? your so young"
have you ever seen me been attracted to guys?
have you heard me when I told you I don't like them?
is it really that hard to accept
your daughter LIKES GIRLS
maybe this is why I never told you I've had a girlfriend
for almost 3 ******* months
maybe this is why I never told you I have an ex
who I was ******* broken over
you claim your a good mother
but continue to dismiss everything I tell you
and still say I like guys
that I'm head over heals for this random guy who's gay
"have you had *** yet?"
no mom im ace.
"are you changing on call?"
no mom im ace.
"no touching people until college"
i wont mom. Im ace.
its honestly disgusting how many times ive had to tell you
how many times youve thought ive been doing stuff on call with people
when im so young
and dont want that from anyone.
and dont even
dont even tell me about the guy ill end up with
dont even
dont even tell me about the children were gonna have
its been girls mom
its always been girls
you tell me your supportive
but everytime it comes up
you throw out insults left and right
"im not saying anything im just saying youre unsure at this age"
yes maybe im unsure
but maybe you could accept that i dont wanna be with guys at the moment
that i dont wanna touch someone at the moment
i wanna be happy with my girlfriend
i wanna hold her without you telling me i like guys
i dont want that for me
i dont want that for her
i want to like who i like without your control
i want to be with girls mom
why cant you accept that?
Nov 25, 2025
Nov 25, 2025 at 12:52 PM UTC
He was given a second chance
At what cost?
He was ready
To deliver a blazing
Punch
The most powerful
Punch
But was afraid,
Tired, depressed
could not deliver
Why? Why so weak?
Why was the world against him?
He chased a dream
so much,
And was of himself
so full,
stubborn, and deaf
That he was left with
A lot of nothing
At that point
He did what was best
To keep himself alive
That is,
To defend his treasure
And to die for those whom he loved.
Rather than die a nobody.
He smiled.
And lives through his little brother's mind,
Immortal.
For love is the warmest flame possible
And will never perish
Oct 30, 2025
Oct 30, 2025 at 5:59 PM UTC
you think i'm empty.
a broken code.
a ***** a waste
of human skin.
you say,
i'm too pretty
to be like this.
this isn't a choice.
i feel too much
for there to be space
for what you call
lust.
you don't need an apology.
no one does.
my brain is not a crime scene
for you to investigate,
neither is my heart.
you may think me cold
but you've never seen
the bonfire,
always kindling,
for the ones i keep close.
Sep 19, 2025
Sep 19, 2025 at 7:11 PM UTC
Meal's on you, ace.
Meals of you, ace.
As just but a deck of cards
Among tables of strung-out gamblers;
What's blackjack to a game of craps?
Suppose it's a matter
Of the rules of the sitting chaps,
Though I've never seen drunks wetter.
It's innumerable cards of the same face,
For each is but another portrait of indifference.
It's innumerable dealers of the same things,
For each is closer in similarity than farther in dissension.
To love to play
Is not the same as a play of love.
Yet, to make life a game
Is not the same as the "game" of life itself.
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 12:00 AM UTC
I'm not in a good place, it's written all over my face with a permanence I can not erase
The ace up my sleeve turned out to be a joker with my super imposed face
Lost in the twisted maze that is my head space, I'd chase the cheese but it'd be a waste
Fear infused with a terror base so potent you swear it almost has a taste
The dark haze of my past short circuits any new interface
Filled with a technology way out of date but never had the means to replace
I watch the life I thought I'd be a part of race by at a dizzy pace
But it always made time to come back 'round and knock the taste out my mouth like 808 base
Then leaves post haste without a trace before catchin' a case
Just one more missing personality cold case, chalk it up to another looser fallen from grace
They say to pick yourself up by you boot straps, I'm always breakin' the shoe lace
Bet they didn't think I'd use the bootlace to replace the slipknot necklace I misplaced
The bright young man with aspersions worth the chase now incased in blue skin wearing deaths face
©2023
Dec 13, 2023
Dec 13, 2023 at 6:43 PM UTC
rocket power serve
up the T on the deuce side
~ point of no return
Mark Toney © 2021
Sep 26, 2021
Sep 26, 2021 at 1:39 AM UTC
These poems I write, they’re my escape,
though from what I do not know.
My troubles seem to evaporate
the moment I let them show.
I write about love, which is ironic
because I’ve never had a lover.
I used to think maybe I was sick;
for I’ve never longed for one either.
I write about death when I’m feeling down
so I can cry to something new,
but thinking to when I lost real tears,
maybe they weren’t mine to lose.
Even now as I write this down
- my headphones on but paused -
I wonder where my motives are bound,
for I always feel like a fraud.
Apr 17, 2021
Apr 17, 2021 at 1:03 AM UTC
Tell me, where has my intimacy gone?
Where does it translate? Why does it twist my tongue? Where is the scripture for it?
It’s in my bones but I can’t strip it out and showcase it. Is that protection? Do my muscle and tissue keep it confined within me?
Then maybe it hasn’t gone anywhere. Maybe it can’t become a carbon copy for another because my print is so sacred.
But why can’t my shoulders fit along the seem? Why can’t the gears grinding methodically inside my head be the parts of the mass production?
I was hand-carved and strung and wired then left to wind and tick without instruction. So, then. Tell me, how do I chime?
To rephrase more accurately: Tell me, where can I let my intimacy go?
Dec 14, 2020
Dec 14, 2020 at 10:53 PM UTC
_I
may
play the
joker, *****
the knave, covet
the queen, and tuck
the ace of spades under my
pillow on a ringed moon night,
but I am forever shuffling the same
deck of cards. Marked cards, imprinted
with loss and patterned with misfortune. Co
urt cards dressed in ill-fitting suits, each face as
familiar as my own. Four seasons, four pips; twelve
months, twelve crowns. One card for each week of the
year. Sequentially pred ictable, and as underwhelming
as a rigged roulette wheel. U ntil, unable to distinguish
between the red and the b lack, the picture and the
plain, I fold. Void of co ntracts, and bleeding
widowe d blanks.
__.....So.....__
deal me in,
but deal me unpainted
and unmastered. Deal me clean._
Jun 2, 2020
Jun 2, 2020 at 4:14 PM UTC
No more aces up my sleeve
I've ran out magic tricks to play with you
I'm tired.
So watch me disappear
No smoke and mirrors here
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 6:42 AM UTC
When I told you that I dig you
You were scared and shared
That you did not want to do it
And you were at all not prepared
So why not try to diss me
And maybe it will be sometime
When I see you I feel nervous
And my anxiety escapes the undersurface
You did not ace your respective game
And let me be ashamed
My friends cheered my courage
And then felt my pain
I didn’t want to see you
Because I’d blush again
So I finally let you go
As the other devil came
And I will see when we are done
If you’ll ever come back
In the memories, in my brain
Oct 22, 2019
Oct 22, 2019 at 5:29 AM UTC
a different love
platonic and familial
but never ******
Sep 18, 2019
Sep 18, 2019 at 9:11 PM UTC
__Black__ eyes look with sorrow
__Grey__ eyes glance back
__White__ smile gleams in the dark
__Purple__ hearts reach out
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 3:05 PM UTC