#abusesurvivor
I hate Houston Texans
I love when they lose
I cheer when they fumble
I celebrate the opponents victory
I hate Houston Texans
Not for their wrong doing
But for adversary association
They are my enemy
I hate Houston Texans
I loathe their logo
I cringe at their colors
I whence when they win
I hate the Houston Texans
With every fiber of my being
I hate the Houston Texans
Until the day I die
I HATE THE HOUSTON TEXANS!
DEFUNCT THE FRANCHISE!!!
Feb 28
Feb 28, 2026 at 1:25 PM UTC
You know, I never actually got away?
I left those 4 walls long ago
But the friends I made while I was alone..?
Still keep me company inside my head
They remind me every day
That Im not capable of making good choices.
That it's safer to be alone, behind walls.
That crying is not just weak, but dangerous.
Because when people come inside,
They will hate you.
They will hurt you.
And worst of all,
They will never. Even try. To understand you.
You probably aren't worth the time.
Or even the space you inhabit.
You are possibly a vile and useless creature
Born to be wrong, and always sorry.
So don't be late
Don't defend yourself.
Don't cry - and if you do:
Don't ever let them hear you.
Don't say one ******* word,
Of one ******* thought,
Out loud. Ever.
Those are the rules.
And if you ever find yourself struggling
To follow those rules:
Stop breathing until it gets easier.
Its been years now, but...
I never actually left that room....
Those 4 walls came with me,
And I carry them inside every day.
On good days they keep me safe.
And on bad days they close in so tightly,
That it gets dark, and hard to breathe.
But on any given day?
I just feel... So **** heavy...
©pennamebreez
Sep 1, 2021
Sep 1, 2021 at 12:21 AM UTC
You made me feel stuck
You made me feel gross
You made me feel unwanted
You made me feel like an inconvenience
You made me feel ugly
You made me feel like a waste
You made me feel discarded
You made me feel like a mistake
You made feel powerless
You made me feel worthless
You made me feel inhuman
You made me feel like a ruined day
A ruined day that lasts forever...
And there is no running from it
There is no hiding from it
There's just me, unmoving
Unable to be whatever you wanted
When I never really had a chance
You made me feel like gum
On the bottom of your shoe
I did not deserve to feel that way
©pennamebreez
Sep 1, 2021
Sep 1, 2021 at 12:11 AM UTC
When we first met you’d smoke cigarettes as we laughed at sunrise. Working on what you promised of a dream.
You were living in a sober house, cracked walls, leaking ceiling.
Yet you felt like home.
I knew you had your nightmares everyone does.
You manipulated me, there were so many warning signs.
I don’t know how I stayed for so long or how I survived. All I know is I watched you almost die too many times.
Your choice is heroine. My choice used to be you.
But now I’ve called a lawyer and started smoking the cigarettes you hated the most too.
Oct 16, 2020
Oct 16, 2020 at 3:51 PM UTC
Cuddle up and get some rest
Ignore the pain inside your chest
Though doubt plagues your aching heart
Promise him you’ll never part
Let him feed you broken lies
Empty promises and severed ties
Make him happy is what you’ll do
He says he’s afraid of losing you
He’s like a dog fresh off the ****
He’s happy that he broke your will
Through widened eyes and pouted lips
He distracts as he travels past your hips
Pretend he sends your form aquiver
All while your soul will start to shiver
And as he sleeps there in your bed
Pretend that running doesn’t run through your head
Though you escaped and made it through
You can’t get back what he took from you
And though you’ve left him far behind
He’s never really off your mind
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 2:48 AM UTC
How can one be so spiteful
Do I fill you with regret
Do you really miss the fighting
Or just how I let you share my bed
Nobody knows the poison
Of a deadly widow’s bite
How they **** out all of your energy
And leave you with a blight
You bullied me into forever
Used me like a tool
Took me without consequence
And treated me a fool
Lied to my companions
Spouting an accusatory tone
Told them I was straying
Because I no longer was a drone
You don’t want a love that’s true
You thrive on self infliction
You keep stirring up my life
Because you like the friction
I’m not sorry that I broke them
The promises I made
When one as pitiful as you
Tried to make me afraid
You don’t control me anymore
Yet you still won’t leave me alone
How don’t you get that I’m better now
That I’m not pretending you’re my home
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 2:45 AM UTC
i know that i get scared and lost in my own heart,
i've been bruised and beaten down,
almost from the very start
of me.
its hard to understand how i could be
the perfect part of me that i
have never known existed
at all.
it's disguised by fear and anticipation
for the bad things that probably won't
come, and interfered by the thoughts
that i'm not good enough.
but if you rip me open,
there are sunflowers inside,
and when you shine your light
upon my face, the way you do,
so perfectly,
my head will lift toward your gaze,
and i will only look to you,
for you are my sunshine and you
will keep me standing tall.
Mar 10, 2016
Mar 10, 2016 at 9:25 AM UTC