#abstinence
Something that needs more attention and convo.
I’ve known about it since a youngin’
But I didn’t understand it then.
Now that I do,
there’s confliction.
I’m straddling the fence with this.
My husband is supposed to be the man with the
key to my body.
I’m years from marriage plus
my mind thinks of the act.
A lot.
Apparently, this is wrong.
I thought I was only human.
Don’t they understand *** is everywhere?
Isn’t the thought better than the action?
I made the decision to wait.
Not because of the past teachings.
This is my body, my choice.
I can’t bring myself to give away
my most cherished part
away so easily.
Is the choice easy?
Even in singleness, the thoughts
and temptation is everywhere.
I could find a guy.
Any guy.
And have fun.
But would it mean more to me than him?
Is the choice fair?
I can’t argue with the Word.
But I have free will.
The main thing I want to avoid is soul ties.
Those can’t leave me as quick a bad
fun session.
Will my wait be worth it in the end?
I hope so.
This may not be easy,
Let alone fair.
But in my eyes, it’s right.
-Mia J
10-8-2019
© 2019 Mia J
May 7, 2025
May 7, 2025 at 10:37 PM UTC
my body
misses you
more than it can handle
the pain of the withdrawal.
Oct 13, 2020
Oct 13, 2020 at 3:04 PM UTC
I don't know why
Can't even begin to understand
When I know you're about to kiss me like you want to taste and lick my soul
I don't bother to pull back
Never wanting you to stop
Never wanting you to end
Your smell, vibe, taste, sensation
Strumming on me
Making your favorite notes play your favorite tune
Fully clothed yet vulnerablely ****
Yearning for our bodies to match
Undoing my button brought me back to rational thought
We must stop
You must stop trying to **** me out of my commitments
My commitment to my heart
My mind
My soul
To starve the flesh
Aug 7, 2020
Aug 7, 2020 at 8:12 PM UTC
In my search for happiness,
I found pleasure and prayer,
Satisfaction and abstinence.
How much of it was true
And how much an illusion?
People spoke of balance
But to me it was about
Giving it all up
Or completely giving in.
I decided to give in
But only to the realm within
And yet I could not differentiate
How much of it was true
And how much an illusion.
Apr 4, 2020
Apr 4, 2020 at 11:11 AM UTC
It hasn’t even been that long...
Bit over two weeks?
But tonight I gave up
I gave in to the pleasure
Stimulation
Excitement
Teasing
Prolonging
Then pleeeaassssure....
Mm... and to lie in bliss
In comfort
In serenity
In deep and surprising
Satisfaction.
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 4:37 AM UTC
Really, there was no need to fuss,
I signed on with Yarn Anonymous,
Here I stand to confess,
I bought more wool, not less,
Then I did sign the pledge,
I took abstinence to the edge,
Here I stand and say,
I have not bought wool for ten whole days!
Aug 5, 2019
Aug 5, 2019 at 9:56 PM UTC
no such thing as abstinence
just one sip and then that's it
drink from the bottle
sell your soul
and smile
just have a taste
they tell me
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 8:03 PM UTC
When I was fifteen, I took a Health class and got "the talk,"--
(it's not what you're thinking because this is Tennessee).
It started with the boys and girls being separated and
mass-confusion ensued like bees who lost their queen--
(despite being female, I'm still scared of ***** diagrams).
Our speaker's name was Mary, but I think that was faked.
We were fed PG-rated and legally mandated information
about how our bodies are meant for HUSBANDS ONLY--
(joke's on her, half of my diet consists of Taco Tuesday).
Mary guided us through the "exciting changes" of our body
only to declare quite firmly that *** doesn't even feel good"--
(unless you're married, of course, because your holes are holy).
And yet
I was
unconvinced.
And thus began my intrinsic journey of "pearl-hunting."
After all, if it didn't feel good with my hand, I couldn't
imagine what a **** would do for me and, boy oh boy,
that woman was so WRONG **** on that, Mary).
But I digress, because I confess, I never really even
gave my ******** a second thought before I took an
ABSTINENCE CLASS.
Dec 27, 2017
Dec 27, 2017 at 10:07 PM UTC
augustine, what have you done to me?
i should feel wildfires without guilt
i should tremble on the cusp between
wishing i could be entirely consumed
and wishing i could erupt.
we should shiver without fear
of melting retribution.
god can hold the candle that drips
hot wax on my nape,
i don't believe they hate what they create.
augustine, you've made me unclean.
we spend hours smearing acid between two
bodies, don't we erode our impurities?
Aug 24, 2017
Aug 24, 2017 at 5:09 AM UTC
Toluene
If I decide to unpack all
my belongings in your arms,
would you let me stay?
Would you still be as mesmeric
as you were when you believed
people were temporary?
Would you let me live
inside your skin?
Because I can't tell where
rapture ends and abstinence begins.
Jan 13, 2017
Jan 13, 2017 at 11:52 PM UTC
Red eyes no bullseye,
high off our mark,
distracted by addictions,
it’s apparent from our scars,
scars,
lit,
far,
in,
tense,
don’t know where the day went,
intense so I escape in a tent,
camp out just to lamp out without any ill intent.
Since when,
did our past define us,
our destiny we manifest,
sometimes we have to remind us,
that we angels were Heaven sent,
that scent,
mixes with the wind,
sea breeze and coconut knees,
I’m ready when you are just say when,
since when,
were names so appropriate,
Scarlet’s a darling far from a harlot,
actually she’s abstaining,
since when,
were you so absent from class that,
you forgot the facts that,
all women are divine even when abstinent,
honestly,
I’d rather be,
laying in this hammock with a Goddess that’s abstinent,
than rubbing,
when clubbing,
wasting time with a drunken **** that will soon be a has been,
not even a faction,
not even a fact,
I want the real artist,
I don’t want a bad act,
I want laughter,
I want rushes,
and with her we get all that,
it all comes in bunches,
her inner instinct is distinct,
and much more than just what a hunch is,
what’s for lunch kid?
Let’s have a pic-nic this instant and then get down to business,
actually let’s scrap the deal and forget all about business,
let’s get up let’s get up let’s get up and ride like the wind,
let’s let God be our witness,
we’re in this,
no limits,
no gimmicks,
no scrimmage,
no sewage,
no sadness,
no losers,
so tragic,
the truth is,
abusers,
abuse but,
their tactics are madness,
so when they step,
we make them back track with,
apologies “So sorry please,
I didn’t mean to try to take,
all of your Light Energy.”,
ok I accept their pleas,
then tell the fickle fleas “Peace,
I think it’s time for you all to flee.”,
And their gone,
along the whispers in the wind,
and we’re in the hammock again,
Scarlet and I off the mark and still high,
gone like the wind our world continues to spin,
distracted by our addictions,
which is apparent from the scars we wear on the body we’re currently in,
with red eyes,
no bullseye,
no bullSh!t,
just true facts,
think about the best thing you could ever do in your life,
and rest assured we’ve done are doing or will do that.
All true in other words,
all true facts,
from Venus to Mars with,
a darling named Scarlet,
she leaves a print on my soul,
no crayon or marker,
no mark,
no start,
no finish,
no gimmicks,
just this,
life we live that we live to the limit,
with words that are all true,
in other words all true facts.
Vague,
yet exact,
we rush forward,
then step back,
heartbeats and feelings,
all part of our lives’ soundtrack,
Sounds rap,
upon the windows of my soul,
in the form of the flicker in her eyes,
which is a response to the moon’s glow,
and it is then that I know,
that she is a magical creature,
that I could write about on pages for ages,
but then I feel her beauty is so pure,
that I don’t even wish to display it on literary stages,
so I just stop writing,
and give one last look at her by candlelight,
I give thanks for her in this moment,
then I finish my rhyme and go outside into the tropical moon night…
∆ Aaron La Lux ∆
Jul 31, 2016
Jul 31, 2016 at 5:10 PM UTC
I put this cigarette between my lips
in the foolishness of maybe
it could make me poeticize.
Ingenuous thought when I know the only
drug able to mess with all my system is you.
More effective than nicotine, fogging all my mind
More dense than an smoke that I stubborn to
take to my lungs, your smell clogs my aerial vias.
More rough than the cigarette material
rubbing my fingers, your words scratch my skin.
More agonizing than abstinence, *your distance makes
me writhe inside my own body,* facing an intern fight
that always end in riot because I can’t decide between
leave you on your own luck or convince you that
we can be the lucky of each other.
And here is the living proof, here is the poetry
that i’m only able to extract from the collateral
damage caused by you.
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 9:05 PM UTC
addicted
turning on you
you’re more toxic
than ******
scroll fluid
in my veins
you're dangerous
a sweet poison
harmful to my health
I fill myself with you
of your essence
every fiber of me
wants to feel you
your voice
your words
your smell
your hands
your mouth
light me up
and raise me
to dizzying heights
and they throw with me
in adrenalin
descents
that leave me breathless
you’re never enough
darkness takes you away
and I’m in withdrawal symptoms
you’re hot oil
in my veins
burn
my nervous system
my heart
is covered with pus
a thin and unquenchable
itchy
crawls under my skin
my brain cells
seeking frantic
satisfaction
in wrinkles of memory
dig every corner
crave a drop of you
forgotten on the bottom
of an empty bottle
you’re toxic
abstinence
doesn’t give me peace
I’m alienated in a whirl
of strobe lights
sweat
dehydrated
confused
find me
take me
save me
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016 at 11:12 AM UTC
Torrents of vapor ridden wind, snatched at her hair.
Below, rattled the rapid, riotous and vast, rippling sea.
Churning, like a chewing, charming serpent's lair.
Once long ago I knew her; with time she left me be.
On the edge she was, with will to leap t'wards the horizons.
The brittle cliff would not give way, for even it was curious.
Dare say all of nature reacted for the most prurient reasons.
Even the sky descended to watch, with a lightning so furious.
She beheld no fear and the sky wept with thunderous applause.
Her bare marble-like features glistened in the gleaning of the gloom.
Why she stood there, triumphantly, tempting, terror, for what cause?
It will never be known, for she never was, in a time before this doom.
The earth shook like the hands of a beleaguered, berated old man.
It erected monoliths. Volcanoes, pluming molten magma skyward.
The red glow brought heat; earth thought to please her, or so was its plan.
The elements wrestled for the better view of that beauty stalwart.
Never had a sight been so majestically violent, so mightily tame.
Where she stood, should and would forever more be a sacred place.
The tempest of the elements raged on, though none would win the game.
A silence, softly, settled the rambunctiousness, and halted their race.
The skies parted with a sad and lowly somberness.
Every elated, embittered, element safely put to rest.
As the sun swept aside all their postulated, pettiness.
Rays of the sun showered her with bright white zest.
The lady, she moved with unfathomable grace.
She tilted her perfect head up to the skies.
With the slightest of a smile shook her face.
Like all before, she left them there surprised... and forever, there she stood.
Mar 22, 2016
Mar 22, 2016 at 3:21 PM UTC
And no one else. Not a touch.
All the girls say they want to be you but you.
It feels like you're here. Like you're face is here.
I love all your smells. From the neck up and
The neck down. There are no outer limits,
Nothing too much, no one that could ever
Come between, or say words that could trump
The sounds of you that still linger in me.
I have bread and time for you always.
Dec 5, 2015
Dec 5, 2015 at 5:39 AM UTC
Candlelight shadows dance
Across this darkened room
Searching for any chance
To leap at something new
Yet, nothing new is ever found.
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 9:41 AM UTC
¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯ ¯
I am but the flower
nigh the wild fox's den
I feel earthen worms
that crawl about
my sultry toes and then
they move the dirt for me
relaxing me
I stand *****
in wait for thee
I watch the *****
nurse her pups
and though she has quenched
my love before
I desire a name and
something more
I so desire the honey bee
without her I feel untended
much unlike the tended progeny
of neighbor mother mending me
though standing guard
I wait for thee
to call my name
and fall on me
to drone a tune
and dance on me
and rob of me
the toil of seed
for a wildflower
by another name
should thenceforth
be deemed
a ****
'til the
nomen
falls atop
mine pate as
favor of the
honeybee.
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 31, 2015 at 4:24 PM UTC
~Christi Michaels~May 2015~
I sense the wind
across my skin
goose bumps rise
to your touch
calloused hands
fingers know just
how firm to grasp
the light rain
Knowin' of a
storm a'blowin
Your lips settle
on mine
wet~slick
firm and yielding till soft
We are nestled in these
suspended moments
between precipitation and
an all out squall
Your fullness climbs into me
finding my breath
I inhale the quiet before...
exhale, inhaling the Fresh of You
as this storm unfolds
pounding down seedlings of spring
rinsing all things clean
I am awash with you
unbridled passion having
survived a prolonged
season of thirst and drought
☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆•☆
Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
May 11, 2015
May 11, 2015 at 8:57 PM UTC
I gave you up to see the difference a month without poetic words would be.
The truth is this, many images thoughts and musings went to die in a sea of letters, crying to be saved.
Cruel, though the exercise was, in denial I found a truth,
words are a doorway to understanding and acceptance.
Words truly are a universal bonding.
Unlike a pill repeated every four hours, words need to be taken continuously.
This I found was quite sublime, surreal and sensuous,
the addiction to sounds in words,
the addiction to vowels and consonants,
the addiction.
On holiday I read the in flight magazine and pictured myself in the basket weaving scene!
I sat and made a rhyme out of the ingredients list on a bottle of HP sauce.
My madness continued, with a limerick in the supermarket,
but they were not written down and they faded away like ink on a parchment.
So, gingerly I have returned to the sea of words to swim and describe the view from shore.
Before my addiction to words leads me to carve in my soft skin;
"Lexicographer is Legion"
"Lexicography is King"
Mar 30, 2015
Mar 30, 2015 at 4:18 PM UTC
i cry during Bambi
you cried in your car after your high school girlfriend tried to come on to you
you and i--
we wouldn't, but--
tonight
or tomorrow
or the next day
we could give ourselves away
we could shoot white deer together in the mountains without a license
the blood from their heads would make cherry snow cones in the powder
and we would have fun savoring the flavor
watching something innocent die
but how would we feel the moment it was over?
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 11:50 PM UTC