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#absentparent
You took my wedding day away from me. Even though you have forgotten about me I have never forgotten about you. Someone has even taken your place And I'm torn in two Because he was always there When you never were. He is the rightful owner of the title But **** my heart I can't bring myself to hurt you In the same way that you have hurt me. When I think about that special day In the future I feel a pain because Although I know who deserves to walk me down the aisle I can't imagine having you just sit off to the side Feeling horrible because you never lived up to who you were supposed to be for me I'm a fool It should be easy But every time, Every time I think about that day Instead of feeling joy I just feel pain and heart ache. So I have decided, I won't ever have one. It's hard to choose between the one that loves you with a fullness in their heart Versus the one who could never love with depth even though they are blood. You took that day from me. I don't want to break your heart Even though you so easily broke mine. At the end of the day, He is my dad through and through But there was a time that I remembered where you were once my dad too. Now I see Princesses grow up And fairy tales were never real. You taught me that. And you took my wedding day away from me.
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Nov 20, 2012
Nov 20, 2012 at 6:08 PM UTC
You took it away.
A broken little heart entangles his tears, that come from a person that he'll never see. Wet rain boots and ***** feet make him forget about the darkest nights. His bed and blankets are like souvenirs from home; a house he'll never remember. Lies and "I'm sorry"s are trapped in his hair, dangling behind his ears, whispering such morbid pain among his lullabies. With every cry he's screamed for you, can you even hear him? He's afraid to sleep alone, as the TV erases nightmares oozing from his eyes, do you care at all? Lost toys and old photographs make him plead; Oh, but why? He'll never understand the love he couldn't have, the love you wouldn't give-
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Jun 23, 2018
Jun 23, 2018 at 5:07 PM UTC
Oh, But Why?
He may have fathered me but he was never a father. He saw crumbs with his wife and children. He may have fathered me but he was never a father. For the home was not full of love, he choose to raise and nurture fear. He may have fathered me but he was never a father. He saw wealth in chasing the thrill of the illicit than soothing the pain he caused with us in the picture. He may have fathered me but he was never a father. Who now recalls that he's getting old. You think you're a man. You were never a man. You were and always will be an immature boy. He may have fathered me but he was never a father. If anyone was my Father, it was definitely my mother. She did all she can to shield me. She practically raised me. With her, I didn't have any memory re-written. He may have fathered me but he was never a father. My mother played at both roles But of course, she's strong because she had her father and the Holy Father. They all are still here. They will guide me. He added another year so I know He loves me. I'll make my mistakes. I may walk the wrong path But with them at my side, I'll always find my way back. Truth of the matter is Any man can be a father, but it takes a REAL man to step up and be a Dad.
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Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 11:32 AM UTC
Father's Day
You broke me. Why can't you fix me? Did the pieces cut your feet? Did the porcelain make you bleed? I know. It hurts, right? The sting left inside at night? And bandaids don't heal it, they just made you cry, Because you can't really fix it, and you can't really fight. And I understand the absence, the advancements in my head, A unique side to seeing, a life trembling in death. As I am standing, to prove I'm awake, How much more pain, am I able to take? None. That's what you can't see; the more I am feeling, The less I am free-
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Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 11:24 AM UTC
Porcelain
Once upon a time I was your little girl I didn't know of heaven or cared about hell as I slept in your arms The resonance of your voice was sweeter than any lullaby as I slept in your arms... Once upon a time I used to look up to a giant, my doubts, my fears: inexistent Once upon a time turbulence did not dared to touch me as you held me tight to your warm What happened to my fairy tale land? I climbed a beanstalk to never return to you, I grew as you became little, Disappointment never failed to show, as I lost faith in you And you...you lost me ...I was your little girl once, everything was okay as long as you held my hands But, it was you who forgot the excitment of having a little girl, the joy of seeing me grow it was you, who missed... What do you hold dear now days? I honestly do not wish to know You took a magic eraser and erased your little girl, I still haven't found the magic that would make me return... Or the spell to bring back the man I barely knew...
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Oct 12, 2014
Oct 12, 2014 at 1:06 AM UTC
A long overdue letter to a silent ear...