#abandonmentissues
“you tap my keys
and create a beautiful
melody as your foot
presses gently
over mine; it makes
me blush
you fix my strings
when i am a little
out of tune; you’re
never annoyed to
help me out
you gloss my wooden
casing with a smooth
finish to display all
of my beauty
but you grow bored
of me after a while
and i am left to dust
in an old storage closet
with my strings thinning
and my gloss peeling
i barely remember
the last song i sang
to you
because i never
expected you to
simply
just
leave.”
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 11:37 AM UTC
“i love my papa
he carries me on his shoulders
once i’m too tired to walk
he makes me waffles in the
morning sometimes and
helps mama fix my hair
he pushes me on the swing
at the park and tickles my
feet once i kick high enough
to finally be as tall as him
my papa hugs me when i’m
sad but he always makes a
joke just to make me smile
i love my didi
he helps me with my homework
even though he barely gets it
he makes horrible jokes and
is always trying to prank me;
even though i never fall for it
he watches my favorite movies
with me even if they aren’t to
his liking
my didi listens to me prattle
for hours because he likes
the sound of my voice
i love my dad
he helps me up when i’m too
depressed to get out of bed;
it makes me mad when he does
but i know why he does it
he cleans the cuts on my
arms with a gentle and steady hand;
i’ve never seen him look
so sad but also so caring
he holds me on the couch
while i cry after a bad
argument with my sister;
he has never let me down
i don’t know what i’d
do without him
my papa
my didi
my dad.”
Feb 2
Feb 2, 2026 at 2:47 PM UTC
A never-ending pattern,
my own internal fight.
I get attached too easily,
pour my soul into others,
give them my all
and leave nothing for myself.
Maybe if I make them happy,
keep them safe,
they’ll stay this time.
Maybe for once,
I won’t be left
empty-handed,
rebuilding again.
A never-ending pattern,
my own quiet war.
Maybe if I give enough,
they’ll finally like me.
Maybe I’ll finally be loved
without having to beg.
Maybe I’ll finally be wanted
without having to bribe.
Until then, my pattern of destruction continues.
Demolishing my own foundation
just to furnish others.
Turning myself into shelter
for people who never intended to stay.
I attach too easily,
too quickly.
I try so hard to fix others,
forgetting I’m just as broken,
just as alone.
I get excited too easily,
too quickly.
I try so hard to hold onto others,
but they always leave.
And I’m left there,
demolished by my own bricks,
heartbroken and crumbled,
because I let it happen again.
But even in the rubble,
I ignore the caution signs
because some part of me still hopes.
She always has.
And she always will.
Aug 4, 2025
Aug 4, 2025 at 2:33 AM UTC
It lives with me, an unwanted guest,
All the thoughts I try to repress
despite its presence, I try my best
to pretend it's not there, that it doesn't exist,
but no matter how hard I try to resist,
They get beck in my head
and it brings back the past
holding me captive, I'm falling fast,
stumbling and tripping over my darkest fear
All the nightmares , I'm scared
I don't want them to last
Jan 2, 2021
Jan 2, 2021 at 1:42 AM UTC
sometimes I wish I could die
just for a day
to see how you would react
May 11, 2019
May 11, 2019 at 4:04 PM UTC
I’ve always been consumed with a sadness and heaviness i could never rid myself of
I wrote constantly.
I knew what heartache felt like and yet nothing could have prepared me for this.
I have not yet lost you.
You’re still here, you still love me.
But for how long?
My mind keeps running back to that sadness to that emptiness and i ask, “how much longer do i have?”
I’ve taken up tarot cards, runes and pendulums and i ask them all the time.
I ask them how things are really going.
I ask them if you still love me or if you’re only pretending.
“How much longer do i have?”
Why?
I want to be prepared.
I want to know you’re leaving before even you do.
I want to grieve before it happens so it doesn’t **** me.
I feel the anxiety burning in my chest already.
I find myself daydreaming about a future where I’m in a lonely little apartment late at night and I can feel your arms around me. However, when I roll over to face you there’s no one there and I remember that you’re with someone else and you’re happier with her.
I don’t want that to be real.
I don’t want you to leave.
I’m scared.
So I try to hope for the best but I want to prepare for the worst.
Please tell me how long I have. Please tell me before it ends.
Jan 11, 2017
Jan 11, 2017 at 11:51 PM UTC
god **** it, you left a heart at the end of your message and i felt my own lurch in my chest
i don't love you
i won't love you
but just for a second,
one precious, fleeting moment
you flirted with the fragility of my mind by showing me you cared
and, for a moment,
it felt like maybe i could;
maybe i could love you
but i don't
and i won't
May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 9:18 PM UTC
My Therapist said that I have abandonment issues,
says that I tend to idolize the people who leave me,
She says that I build shrines for those who leave,
and tombs for those who stay.
Mar 4, 2015
Mar 4, 2015 at 8:39 PM UTC