#abandoning
to my mother who never cared
i. Thank you for becoming the woman
you promised that you would never
become.
ii. I never got all my stuff back, and
I'm starting to lose myself in the
stuffed animals and photographs
iii. i don't need you
i don't need you
i don't need you
iv. dad still cries and so do i but
it's alright you never loved
either of us anyways.
v. thanks for forgetting my birthday
and Christmas
and that you gave birth to me
vi. i don't need you
i don't need you
i don't need you
I don't need you.
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 7, 2014 at 2:45 PM UTC
I don't want to leave behind
The world I've come to know.
And I refuse to return blind
From the land of ice and snow.
The land of painful suffering
I've come to know so well
I must depart for fairer lands
Then return to blazing hell.
The issue here, I don't exactly know.
Its fire never scorched me
Its barbs have never scratched me.
All I can tell you is that
I don't want to go.
Jul 21, 2016
Jul 21, 2016 at 12:57 PM UTC
I’m fading away, backing off from life.
Echoes of joy and faults pass like falling stars.
Every day has a few drops less of strife.
Silent shrapnel crashes in soft and witless shards.
And I’m shrinking from the Now;
I couldn’t even tell you how.
Moments of ecstasy and pain are sealed,
Like shrines to a life I still know.
Etched in summer’s softness or in steel.
I am vanishing, but I don’t know where I’ll go.
My once-beloved and my son are here.
One ignores me, while the other
Watches in helpless fear.
Five A.M and I am by myself…again.
Sun washes in with sorrow in its face.
For the thousands of times, I have slept alone,
I feel like a stranger in this place,
I once called our home.
Now it’s a cage to me,
Filled with broken promises and mis-matched lace.
I am going now, heading toward the West.
Leaving memories and pain behind with a sleeping wife..
Every day brings me closer to an end
Leaves fly in the road behind me, remnants of a life.
I am crying for the misspent years.
But no more of those; I am changing, switching gears.
September 17, 2010
Edited – January 5, 2016
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 12:47 AM UTC