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Maybe I was just supposed to meet you
The -ship we have
I forced upon us
Upon you
When I step away
You remain still
When I stop
You fade away
This was me this whole time?
That doesn't matter now!
It is early, still...
Magicians are:
Rulers of destiny Masters of will
Their fate is theirs to determine
through their own power
Magicians are never in love
Love obeys no command
Love is stronger than...
Love is more important than one could ever be
Love hates magicians
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018 at 4:39 AM UTC
I’m not here to make you feel comfortable, safe, or secure
I’m not here to give a **** a like, or a ****
I am here because I am
Whatever that means that is up to me
you don’t get to Define any part of that or me
You don’t get to stumble across my path looking down at screens
Then feel, mad, sad, or whatever way you feel when I will not be moved
I am here because I am
Whatever understanding I gain it’s through my study in solitude or syndicate
You don’t get to instruct or borrow from any part of my lesson(s)
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
May 5, 2018
May 5, 2018 at 4:55 AM UTC
Objectified Self
Warfare
the only thing you bring to me
You challenge my thoughts
You force my feelings
You invoke my emotions
I have to create contingency plans
Because of you
I have to keep a distance
Because of you
Because of You
I
have to rearrange too much of Me
I cant **** you
I can only war with you
the only thing you bring to me
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Apr 1, 2018
Apr 1, 2018 at 3:56 PM UTC
I am not done yet
I have not passed on
My back may hurt
it still moves
The sloth in my movement may be caused by pain
Id rather feel pain than not feel
My heart may be tough and leathery
it is not cold
it is not stone
My laughs are deeper
longer
My love is harder
stronger
When I do speak
it is often low
there is no need to shout
there is no need to comment on everything
every thing is not my concern
What I have
now
is knowledge
What I know
now
is how to filter information
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018 at 8:03 PM UTC
He is Fire
Fire like mine
Fire I could have been
Fire I should have been
Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda
He didn’t waste time
He didn’t waste his fire
looking for love
in clubs
in gyms
on-line
Everywhere in-between
He didn’t waste time
He didn’t waste his fire
getting his heart broken
getting cheated on
deferring his dreams for a fantasy crafted by others
He let his fire shine and burn
I hid mine away
the only heat felt from mine was by proximity
the only light that shone from mine was in comparison to shadow
He would never be like me
His fire is not like mine
He is smart enough to not bother with things that would take away
He is smart enough to protect his fire from the water
He would never fall in love with it
He is
not me
His fire is
not mine
His fire is
Better
His fire is not as hot as mine
He can selectively burn with his
mine can only be contained by that which would try to destroy it
I don’t regret me
I don’t regret my fire
that is not the point
I want to protect
him
his fire
The way no one protected
me
my fire
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 24, 2018 at 9:59 PM UTC
Never been to Mars
Never allowed myself to loiter
On A street I did not belong
Seems Ive only ever met
The many multitudes of grown boys
children really
Claiming to be men
They are good for
Were good for
Childish things
What else can a child do but think of games
What else can a child do but play
What else should a child do but think of themselves
I think I'd like to go to Mars
Hell
Maybe even the Moon
Any place
Seems like it would be better than this street I live on
It sometimes seems like an adult playground
All the children around here
Pretending
Pretentious
Never seen Mars
Maybe the Moon
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 19, 2018 at 12:12 AM UTC
If the Messiah they need is a woman
Convince them only men are holy.
If the Messiah they need is black
Convince them only white is holy
If the Messiah they need is same gender loving or non-binary
Convince them only heterosexual is holy
If the Messiah they need is proud
Convince them only humility is holy
If the Messiah they need holds knowledge in their left hand
Convince them the right hand is holy
If the Messiah they need has a ten point plan of righteously defending one's self
Convince them that the only holy answer is nonviolence.
If they ever one day happen to believe that they can define:
Self
By Self
Through Self
Of Self
Convince them that holiness is only attainable through a message and belief of:
Holy and selective Prosperity
Holy and selective Favoritism
Holy and selective
Elitism
If they ever happen to look in the mirror and one day love all that they see
Convince them that the holy standards of beauty deems every and all that makes them what they are ugly
If they ever happened to one day realize that the Messiah that they need is within all of them as a United People
Convince them that the holy Messiah can only lay in one person per generation and then publicly assassinate the person that they believe
Or you have chosen
To be their
Messiah.
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 18, 2018 at 2:04 AM UTC
You've found that hole in your soul
Nothing fills it
The smallest things
Seem smaller
The largest things
Seem smaller still
Why won't anything fit
Why won't anything fill
You've found that hole in your soul
Nothing fits it
Its not like its a predator
The things it consumes
You've already forgotten about
Silently it exist
Taking only what you've sacrificed through neglect
Taking only what you've left to languish
It would be better if it was a hunter
If it was taking
Then you could remember
Then you could
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 9, 2018 at 8:50 AM UTC
Rap was my first love
Rap will always hold my fire
Hip Hop will always have my heart
Hip Hop will always be the one I come home too
We started together
Even when she is on some ********
Mumbling around town with technicolor hair
Crunch berry grills
looking like a cartoon villain
I get it
Rock was cool
sometimes we all need to scream
need to be sad and different
sometimes we don’t need words
just a guitar
just a bass
just a drum
It’s a funny thing to say:
The Blues made me laugh
laugh hard too
That’s why she said she left me
she said she was done.
I got so lost in Jazz
When I thought I left I realized
I’m still here
When I thought I had seen all that there is to see
When I thought I rounded the final corner
It turned out to be a street named Lombard
The light shone on me in notes of blue
With the blessing of The Sun and Ra
I realized
off beat is the beat
Jazz
She’s like Hip Hop
I may go away
but I’ll never leave.
© Christopher F. Brown 2018
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 10:18 PM UTC
What if
Brothas and Sistas in Oakland and Richmond
Got together
They poison Richmond's air
Just like
They poison Oakland's water
Every Body from Oakland has a cousin in Texas
Or Louisiana
Or Haiti
Or Atlanta
Just like
Every Body from Richmond has a cousin in Mississippi
Or Alabama
Or Jamaica
Or Tennessee
Why dont
Brothas and Sistas in Oakland and Richmond
Get together
What would that look like politically
What would that look like Economically
What would that look like spiritually
For as long as the decades i can remember
Its been a problem
For as many years have passed now
I've been saying to as many as will listen that i pass
Its been a set up.
© Christopher F. Brown 2017
Nov 12, 2017
Nov 12, 2017 at 9:48 PM UTC
If I ever become famous
I want to tell you
The Oakland that raised me
has changed
Its spirit is still the same
but
its body
its composition
-or at least the parts I knew-
are irrevocably different
from what I knew
The house that my grandmother lived in
for over 30 years
was fashioned to four bedroom
800k
two-story cottage
never mind the generations worth we had their already
Something similar happened to the homes my aunts lived in
Something similar happened to the homes my friend’s aunts lived in
The once cozy and comfy street corners in the
Black Neighborhood
began to be filled with **** attics asking for food and money
pulling fat bloated dogs behind them.
The once cozy comfy street corners in the
Black Neighborhood
that use to be outposts for Muslims selling newspapers and bean pies
turned to base settlements for those in need that had the cleverest sign
They tell me now that I’m from
“Old Oakland”
The smells from the Granny Goose and Mother’s cookie’s factories
still fills Stonehearst’s playground when I dream that of a time gone by
Old Oaklanders Remember
When you could hop on the bus and get a hotlink from Flints
We Remember taking the BART to the colosseum station and seeing
Our Mural
on hallowed ground.
Panthers, Politicians, and everyday People
Reflecting Us
By Us
That’s gone now
Across the street is the
New Mural
on capitalist ground
Patriotic Propaganda
Reflecting someone miles away
By someone that’s just getting paid
There is even a shuttle that takes you directly to the airport now
No more interacting with the locals
Old Oaklanders Remember
When Raiders moved to LA
We welcomed them back
Now they are moving to LV
Its an Oakland thing
you wouldn’t understand
The New Oakland wants to Fight The Old Oakland
Its want to take Laney away
(a small part it says)
and build
The New A’s Stadium
The Small Part it wants isn’t Big enough
to do the new thing they want to do
Us Old Oaklanders know how this goes
the small little part
for the new little thing
gets bigger and bigger until all
The Old is Gone
If I ever become famous
I want to tell you
The place that manufactured the mold of my making is under new management
Even the surrounding areas have transformed
Downtown Berkley once had a cornucopia of bookstores with blocks of one another
Crystal and smoke shops
mom and pop knickknack shops that sold real Ethiopian coffee
40 year old pen shops
30 year old record shops
All gone
They have restaurants now
The strip of Telegraph or University where you could once see
Rockers with 8 inch spiky green Mohawks
Getting high with
Burnt out hippies
and Keeping the peace and spreading the love with
North Oakland Generals
has all been replaced
Conservative A type international students studying
STEM or accounting and finance that all
“hate it here”
But want to make a lot of money
and will when they are done
and will make more when they build their empire back home
That is the Downtown Berkeley you see.
If I ever become famous
and someone goes looking about the places where my feet traveled
and the body of my youth laid
I want to tell you
You wont find it
“Old Oakland”
Only exists in the hearts of the Old Oaklanders
Living in parts far and wide
They have even stopped calling North Oakland
North Oakland
Now its
Temescal,
Some far reach of Emeryville
or even a direction of Berkeley
but its not
Its Oakland
And it will always be Oakland
© Christopher F. Brown 2017
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 12:32 AM UTC
“You wanna go to the crystal shop with me?
Maybe some coffee?”
First things we said
Buying matching bullhorns
for later
I’ll show you how to wrap sage
leaves
You can show me how to build
a fire
Lucky
Blessed
Charmed
Happy
We didn’t have to wait
long
We’ll make a pact
We’ll promise to grow old
Side by side
We know we’re already
Dead
This was the first time
We understood
Oui
© Christopher F. Brown 2017
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 12:17 AM UTC
I’ve met my soulmate
A few times now
- Maybe more-
Only in this life time though
I met him once in his past life
He spoke Portuguese
I only thought in Kiswahili
Once I met him when I realized
Past and future lives are really just extensions of the one you live
presently
Once
-a few really-
Which cause me more sorrow than anything
Not at all the confusion past and negative everyone elses said I should have
He was a she
Because of my soulmate
I learned that,
“Love at first sight”
Is just a literary device
Because of my soulmate
I learned that,
“Happily Every After”
Only exist in the land of make believe.
© Christopher F. Brown 2017
Jul 8, 2017
Jul 8, 2017 at 11:17 PM UTC
That feeling you get
when you wake up to rain in the middle of June.
You can get rid of the people that make feel this way but
You cant stop the rain
You could move but be serious
There will always come a day when
When you wake up to rain in the middle of June
Smile hard
be the sun
© Christopher F. Brown 2017
Jun 8, 2017
Jun 8, 2017 at 12:08 PM UTC
I get it now
They think I'm you
Black
Is only the color of your skin
Black
Is not the culture you love
The people you associate with
The people you share a bed with
The people you represent
Black
Is only your name
Is only where you come from
Is what you claim around family
Black is you
Long as you are the only one
Long as-if there could be such a thing-the best one
Long as you are in charge of the rest
I am Black because Americans don't understand
An African born outside of Africa is still an African
I am Black
I am African
I love the reflection I see because it sees me
Truth be told:
I still love you
Even if you hate everything that stares back at you
© Christopher F. Brown 2017
Jan 18, 2017
Jan 18, 2017 at 6:07 AM UTC
Trump ******* us all
but did he really?
The South followed suit on its promise
Yet the heartland had a change
We would like to say:
“He doesn’t represent America.”
But doesn’t he?
Profit above all is the capitalist credo
Racism: to divide the people and keep them disorganized
Sexism: to divide the people and keep them disorganized
Xenophobia: to divide the people and keep them disorganized
Hasn’t that always been the American way
Keep the neighbors distracted with one another
Keep the neighbors fighting one another
While you rob them blind
And their children
And their children’s children
And . . .
Trump speaks
For those that see government only as a tool for furthering business
Trump speaks
For those that were born into a position of privilege
For those that find it offensive when their privilege is pointed out
For those that can construct legalese so their privilege can never be denied
Trump speaks
For those that believe something determined by genetic or socio/politico/economico construction
Not effort of their own
Imbues them with divine right
Imbues them with heaven’s mantel
Imbues them with a destiny that is their burden to make manifest
Trump ******* us all
Trump doesn’t speak for America
Historically
Morally
Doesn’t he?
© Christopher F. Brown 2017
Jan 2, 2017
Jan 2, 2017 at 8:09 PM UTC
The only thing they are worried about is their reflection
Who cares if they're dead or dying inside
ab shot for the gram
*** shot for the snap chat
**** pic for the dm’s
Some of them
have gotten to the place where
Their selfie
is their self
The only thing they are worried about is their reflection
Who cares if they're dead or dying inside
I could be hypocritical and say im not there
but then
how would I know it exists
You find your way
The way does not find you
*** shots on the Time Line
full nudes on tumblr
live shows on connectpal
The only thing they are worried about is their reflection
Who cares if they're dead or dying inside
© Christopher F. Brown 2016
Dec 5, 2016
Dec 5, 2016 at 4:46 PM UTC
Shouting
In places where people try to force them
Not to hear
Quiet
In places where people try to force them
Not to listen
**** them
Set them free
Watch them fly wild
They are indigo, X, and Y
They are naturally Tech savvy and more intune with all that is natural
They are everything but what they know they want to be
**** them
Set them free
Watch them fly wild
Love
Love has never been one of their considerations
They have never bothered with the fantasy
They were born knowing
Grew tall and mighty watching
No one ever loves a genius child
**** them
Set them free
Watch them fly wild.
© Christopher F. Brown 2016
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 3, 2016 at 9:26 PM UTC
Sometimes we just want to hold it
because it warms us
we can't decide
it might be bad for us
When the air's whispers are warm and the moon refuses to entertain
we can't decide
it might be good for us
When the wind carries chills and the sun searches for its shadow
we take it
into ourselves
knowing the potential harm
wanting the promised help
Sometimes we just want to hold it
because it warms us
©Christopher F. Brown 2016
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 4, 2016 at 5:53 PM UTC
I was wondering if
is there anyone in your life telling you
you are beautiful
you are ****
you are intelligent
I wont be cliché and say all those things
even though I want to
even though I just did
I was wondering if
is there a person in your life to voice
these spirits
say these words
speak these truths about your existence
My schedule is quite flexible if the position is available
I’ll probably never say the previous to you
You don’t need
someone to flatter and praise you
the truth is its own keeper
Just as the sun does not need shade
still
There is the moon.
© Christopher F. Brown 2016
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 5:30 PM UTC
Disregard is Disrespect
I don’t have a responsibility
but because I feel one
I do
Let my voice and words be enough
if they are not
Let my deeds and actions be enough
if they are not
I will sacrifice:
my blood, my sweat, my tears
to try and make you understand
or at least comprehend
I am different from you
not that I am trying
I am the same as you
not that I am trying
Your definition of me and those that seem to be like me
is secondary maybe even tertiary
What matters is
the explanation of me as i interpret to you
just as
the explanation of you as you interpret to me
I am human as you
because
I AM
© Christopher F. Brown 2016
Jun 9, 2016
Jun 9, 2016 at 3:58 PM UTC
Unequal
When you divide the people
You divide the power
When the power is divided
The problem multiplies
This is the algebra of the situation
The situation that poisons water
The situation that pollutes air
The situation that kicks all of the jobs out of the neighborhood
The situation that kicks grandma out of her home
Then blames you
blames you For needing to drink the poison water
blames you For needing to breathe the polluted air
blames you For needing to work for money
blames you For needing to live to have a life
There is no Unknown in this equation
There is no Hidden variables
There is only a forced set of inputs
To create a predetermined set of outputs
We the people refuse
to be functions of this destructive equation
We the people refuse
to be canceled out in this demented calculation
We the people refuse
to be anything other than people
and we the people demand
what is due to all
that are people
that are human
that are of Earth.
© Christopher F. Brown 2016
May 22, 2016
May 22, 2016 at 2:24 PM UTC
These days
Adam Worlock is my best friend
He knew I never was
what they call
a bad guy
He knows what it was like for gods and kings
When we go for love
we go hard
He could see
more than anyone in the universe
I knew and know
myself
Its not about being cocky
Its about doing and being me
I cant say that about my friend
He needs to examine his
self
examine his personal issues
Instead of pretending like they don’t exist
The day will come when they want to fight him.
Hes going to be kinda stuck
But that’s what best friends are for
These days
I'm out of that love game
no more future ex’s
no more making ex’s current
I'm reading and writing a few books
getting back to meditating
Might even plant a garden
©Christopher F. Brown 2016
Feb 12, 2016
Feb 12, 2016 at 1:16 PM UTC
If you are going to love a dreamer
You can not be controlling
You can not be manipulative
their spirit
their passion
would be sacrificed
because of their love for you
because of their love of you
it would be because of you
love ultimately fermented into resent and hate
dreams turned to nightmares at the very mention of your existence
You can not be weak
You can not be moveable
Their fire
their vision
would juggernaut the mightiest of the weary
tears shed in the quiet of the dark
desires whispered in the secret of shadows
would never be known to them
The dreamer is Blind
not deaf
not dumb
If you are going to love a dreamer
You must be courageous
You must be adventurous
To love a dreamer is to bed risk
To love a dreamer is to set a permanent place for gamble
the acknowledgement of chance
the acceptance of failure
Loving a dreamer is to know
the only place of honor
is not with them
is with the dream
Loving a dreamer is to know
the only pedestal
is not for them
is reserved for the dream
Loving a dreamer is to know
they will love you
position their lives around you
but their purpose
their only purpose
is the dream
© Christopher F. Brown 2015
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 1:49 AM UTC
I want to know more than one
Haitian
I want to know more than three
Jamaicans
I want to meet Nigerians that speak
Igbo
Kenyans that laugh at the Swahili I learned in Berkeley
Ugandans that correct my Mandarin
Tanzanians that teach me how to say it in Cantonese
I want to tour the holy city Ile-Ife
trace the pilgrimage path of Mansa Musa
then circle back to Timbuktu
See the reminders of Aksum
See the remainders of Kmt
Touch the Earth and envision the buildings that my ancestors constructed
thousands of years before they were invaded thousands of times
leaving the still standing walls that others never believed were thousands of years old
till their, “science” said so
I want to board a barge in the south and flow north with the Nile
I wonder what eight others will join me
I want to walk the same trail
that was the first trail
compare my foot print
to the first foot print
The vision I see
The things I want to do
The escape I want to take
Isnt one that is new
Its one that is old
so old that its in the blood
in the very fabric and design
of all that claim
Human
What I want is a realization
no
a reawakening
of my genetic inheritance
of my ancestral birthright
What calls me is the land so old
its true name
its original tongue
is the only
can only
be labeled
The First
There
that is what calls to me
There
that is what pushes me
that is the very intangible force that pulsates my heart
pumping the blood through my veins
That place that is forever older than old
yet
In a constant state of
Reconstruction
Recreation
Revelation
Renovation
Revitalization
Revolution
I want to breath the air in that place that is always in a state of newness
I want to feel the frequency in that place
where there are as many words for new
as there are people to speak them
That is the place
That is the space
That is
© Christopher F. Brown 2015
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 27, 2015 at 11:36 AM UTC