#9
Thoughts spill, unbidden.
Words stream, unimpeded.
Like a creek, unbroken.
Shan’t we be entwined, elsewhere—
in this lifetime, in this dimension;
if not here, if not now?
Lest we be apart at all,
drawn and woven into
the shared tapestry of our existence:
for the years that have yet to find us,
for the remainder of what time allows,
for the long becoming of us.
Years buried, dulled into quiet mundanity;
yet see what stirs when you arrive.
Will my bedridden heart still miss a beat,
or has it hollowed into obscurity,
after time long gone?
9 years was all it took
To injure and imbue this scarred psyche
With an ordeal prolonged; marked permanence—
one you caused, exposed, left unresolved,
and chose not to close.
What you left festering;
was never mine alone.
The damage remains—
and it shall remain yours.
For I have survived what you refused to heal.
By all means, go ahead and
carry forward your open ended.
May you forever,
for all eternity of your afterlife,
carry what you refused to face—
me.
May 22
May 22, 2026 at 9:06 AM UTC
1 life where I never got to know your name
where life went on the same
but everything felt meaningless
Where your presence was lacking
2 where I roam this world, is it flat? Round?
Does it matter if you were never found?
Everyone seems off, nothing makes sense
Everything around me leaves me in suspense
3 Where I was a made man, wealthy and healthy
But I sit alone in my penthouse
My only companion is in the wall a mouse
So better of that without you I fell lesser than
4 where we passed each other, I say hi
where you didn’t care I was Bi
Yet we never made eye contact
You never kept in touch
a friend, yet that’s where it ended
5 I meet you at the cinema, you spilled my popcorn
6 where you were male and I the feme fatale
7 where I cried like hail, where milo was never born
8 where we made it, and we kissed under the sun
But 9, definitively, is where we met
No matter how it went about, we got the true ending
Where you are my Bun, you’re fine, we’re set
To the 9th life, where alternates failed to complete
A future we grab with both hands
To demons we’ll defeat, to quirks the world will never understand
To the 9th try, where we defied fate
Dec 23, 2024
Dec 23, 2024 at 3:16 PM UTC
Today, 4/9, turned 29;
in '94, 9th hour born;
4 craves stability,
9 thrives on change;
if you believe in
that sort of thing.
But like the dogwood,
its burnt-edge blooms;
the same each spring,
abscission looms.
Roots in the past,
leaves up for the storm
in '94, 9th hour born.
Apr 10, 2023
Apr 10, 2023 at 6:00 AM UTC
That bird -
Perched on a neem branch,
Its beady eyes search through scorching rays
For its departed half long drowned
In the dusty depths of Earth.
Hollow heart thumps
In mere existence.
Hours pass by.
Hope
Dims in this twilight sun but
Somehow,
Weaves its way through these
Wayward winds
Calls and cries of anguish
Shatter against the Gates of Heaven
Melodies of melancholies
Capture my wandering mind,
I watch until
Lingering love transforms into starlit forlorn.
Wistful.
May 24, 2020
May 24, 2020 at 11:33 PM UTC
There was a man that sang in rhyme,
Every time he found a dime,
But by the time that he found nine,
He’d forget how to rhyme,
Then go back in time to rhyme,
Until he found another nine.
Jul 25, 2019
Jul 25, 2019 at 1:47 AM UTC
lucid, iridescent.
A vibrant remedy
to a gray backdrop.
three months felt like six,
and the past four have felt like two.
A pretty blade on my ear, benign,
what a lovely reminder that
the world can be good again--
you just have to shift the angle
to see it shimmer.
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 11:52 PM UTC
Dip me into the flat line,
under the frame,
where the sun sinks,
The longest day of my life suddenly
ends with a twist, turns
out, your venom
burned negative space
in the lid and
let out the damage
you did.
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 9, 2019 at 5:12 PM UTC
It's scaring me,
What humans can do.
To others, but mostly ourselves.
Cut,
Drink,
Take some pills.
Talk yourself into depression,
And out.
Humans scare me,
Am I one?
Or am I the monster on the opposite side of the mirror?
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 22, 2019 at 2:16 AM UTC
i s e v e r y t h i n g w r o n g ?
n o t h i n g m u s t ' v e b e e n r i g h t
s o r t i t o u t
f i t i n ?
c h a n g e y o u ?
n o , b e y o u .
Mar 16, 2019
Mar 16, 2019 at 10:03 AM UTC
I can see
in the way
that you move
alluring
seductive
and so pure
that for me
you will be
big trouble
I can feel
when you move
in that way
the demon
take over
gracefully
he sways me
enchanted
towards you
For the way
that you move
so freely
I can't help
but to stare
you seen it
and I knew
how you moved
was for me
Mar 16, 2019
Mar 16, 2019 at 12:54 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 9, Drown in your words at midnight._
**** my window makes hella noise after last night's thunderstorm."
"So does that mean you can't sneak out at night anymore?"
"There's got to be another way, I'll fix it."
"Do you think you can do that?"
"If I want to."
"What do you want?"
"You. I want you. I want to love you. I want us to be together in a safe place. I want us to finally be okay. I want us to have a normal life, without hiding the drugs and alcohol, without hiding at all. I want to talk to you. I want us to realise. I want to write and paint and listen to music forever without the need to stop. I want to cry. I want to smile. I want to drown in your words at midnight.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 8:06 AM UTC
The tallest tower for the eyes to see,
The glory of which is hard to believe,
Standing tall as a soulless ghoul,
Visiting everyday to take the fall.
Inside they seek to make us creak,
Broken shadows rolling steak,
Plunging untorn raking dimes,
Invisible chimneys incinerating minds.
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 2:13 AM UTC