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#2014
Lord: no bequest requested. no grant, no teach, no need or greed asked just a hey listen up, if your attention is elsewhere *this is an all-on-my-own prayer that my eyes only utter, my tongue, self-silenced, can only watch and must approve in fact, this is more of a post than a prayer, updating you on the state of what we Earth temporaries call the heart, mind, soul and even our, your-designed crafted carrier, my body Mine enemies call me cursed, embittered, they are right - but fools, they are so much more than wrong, for in this they err grievous, for they cannot see their own bile provisioning their end ask for no interference from the sidelines neither from the sapphire mother sky that raised me up gloriously this morning nor the emerald earth that this day both gives and gets common bounty gives me sustenance, as much spiritual as grained cereal delights lest you think this just one more me-centric rants, let us recall this prayer, is his very own, prayer of gratitude woman's head rests on my chest, her blonde highlights, highlight our bed and our life take and tuck her tresses from eyes and forehead, gentle them into place, behind her ear, and my hand journeys on to the skin, flesh of her backbone, where my fingers spread wide, five messengers unique, advising all of the 120 provinces of her heart, mind, soul and body, she is my beloved, and I pray, I am hers learning still to live with my means, such as they are, sometime mean, sometimes extraordinaire even this skill, to express is a gratitude that though comes and goes like summer breezes that as now we pray, cools my AM coffee while studying the patterned mystery of the bay's Ave Maria waves from that dock-by-his-name where my heart, mind, soul drink wet inspiration from the still-oak-tree'd-strong-surfaced waters, the blue glue of our common delighted, uncommon existence this skill, at this moment mine, to share and not to keep, for have I not, been blessed, by comrades-in-arms that kneel beside me, asking, imploring to be stronger yet, for their sakes, for them! I pray for best they-can-muster sustenance of peace of heart, mind, soul and body here now, my shills, my failing skills cannot help express in new ways, a gratitude that has a shapeless shape, no measurement app enabled for their comfort, our comfort, best grasped as an unbounded divinity, how so I wish I could pray for them better* focus this prayer on the good ones, who so greatly honor us with a greater-than-a-creator, gift glorious of friendship this walnut crack'd shell, this container ship of heart, mind, soul, here there, a few leaks sprung, no nicotine patches to cover this dented car, this dented body, new dent every day from only-you-know-where still gets me there, but other than taking care better, it plods along and houses the rearrangement of this prayer's words, and that is what is called plenty good enough, self-sufficient *prayers that are too long go to the back of line, so here we be, but here we do not wait!* for prayers of gratitude are instantaneous fulfilled, and thus granted even before they are completed* end. <nml> postscript the love I feel for all of the people, friends and poets in my life that give me their best, their perspective...they know who they are.. 7:32am on the dock by the bay, another blessing for which I don't have the words but keep on trying...they are..see below... PostScript - the pleasure of your affection for this writ, palpable and heart pounding but it only reflects the spirit that working wordsmiths share in loving camaraderie so deep in the hidden roots of this place. For which I swear I will never to cease to write upon this favorite optic topic a loving challenge...very humbly do I thank you
0
Jun 22, 2014
Jun 22, 2014 at 7:38 AM UTC
His Very Own Prayer (2014)
Lord: no bequest requested. no grant, no teach, no need or greed asked just a hey listen up, if your attention is elsewhere *this is an all-on-my-own prayer that my eyes only utter, my tongue, self-silenced, can only watch and must approve in fact, this is more of a post than a prayer, updating you on the state of what we Earth temporaries call the heart, mind, soul and even our, your-designed crafted carrier, my body Mine enemies call me cursed, embittered, they are right - but fools, they are so much more than wrong, for in this they err grievous, for they cannot see their own bile provisioning their end ask for no interference from the sidelines neither from the sapphire mother sky that raised me up gloriously this morning nor the emerald earth that this day both gives and gets common bounty gives me sustenance, as much spiritual as grained cereal delights lest you think this just one more me-centric rants, let us recall this prayer, is his very own, prayer of gratitude woman's head rests on my chest, her blonde highlights, highlight our bed and our life take and tuck her tresses from eyes and forehead, gentle them into place, behind her ear, and my hand journeys on to the skin, flesh of her backbone, where my fingers spread wide, five messengers unique, advising all of the 120 provinces of her heart, mind, soul and body, she is my beloved, and I pray, I am hers learning still to live with my means, such as they are, sometime mean, sometimes extraordinaire even this skill, to express is a gratitude that though comes and goes like summer breezes that as now we pray, cools my AM coffee while studying the patterned mystery of the bay's Ave Maria waves from that dock-by-his-name where my heart, mind, soul drink wet inspiration from the still-oak-tree'd-strong-surfaced waters, the blue glue of our common delighted, uncommon existence this skill, at this moment mine, to share and not to keep, for have I not, been blessed, by comrades-in-arms that kneel beside me, asking, imploring to be stronger yet, for their sakes, for them! I pray for best they-can-muster sustenance of peace of heart, mind, soul and body here now, my shills, my failing skills cannot help express in new ways, a gratitude that has a shapeless shape, no measurement app enabled for their comfort, our comfort, best grasped as an unbounded divinity, how so I wish I could pray for them better* focus this prayer on the good ones, who so greatly honor us with a greater-than-a-creator, gift glorious of friendship this walnut crack'd shell, this container ship of heart, mind, soul, here there, a few leaks sprung, no nicotine patches to cover this dented car, this dented body, new dent every day from only-you-know-where still gets me there, but other than taking care better, it plods along and houses the rearrangement of this prayer's words, and that is what is called plenty good enough, self-sufficient *prayers that are too long go to the back of line, so here we be, but here we do not wait!* for prayers of gratitude are instantaneous fulfilled, and thus granted even before they are completed* end. <nml> postscript the love I feel for all of the people, friends and poets in my life that give me their best, their perspective...they know who they are.. 7:32am on the dock by the bay, another blessing for which I don't have the words but keep on trying...they are..see below... PostScript - the pleasure of your affection for this writ, palpable and heart pounding but it only reflects the spirit that working wordsmiths share in loving camaraderie so deep in the hidden roots of this place. For which I swear I will never to cease to write upon this favorite optic topic a loving challenge...very humbly do I thank you
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169
It was the summer of 2014, I was just about to turn 13, spending June of summer vacation with my Grandmère, in Paris. Tonight we’re at a fundraising benefit for African relief (it’s always something). It was a coveted ticket, I was told, because Keira Knightley and Rita Ora were there - somewhere. It was being held at an empire-styled museum-estate in Paris, once owned by Josephine Bonaparte. The rooms were ornate in the extreme, with dark, woodland, panoramic wall murals, large, finicky-looking furniture, heavy, with gold encrusted - everything. It made the small, dark rooms and tight passageways seem foreboding and claustrophobic. A boy named Théo was my ‘date’ for the evening (NOT my idea). When my Grandmère was a girl, back when hoop skirts were the fashion and F. Scott Fitzgerald was just sharpening his pencils, a girl didn’t attend a function without a date. Théo was in my grade at school, but he was a couple of inches shorter than me, and his voice seemed different every time he talked. He was a surprise; I don’t even know how she found him. As we snaked through the main house to the solarium, in a parade of otherwise middle aged, formally dressed guests, the dim hallway squeezed us down to a single-file line. Théo kept trying to take my hand, in the darkness, like he’s scared or something. “Stop that!” I warned him. Then I saw a mirror - ‘Oh!’ I thought in surprise, stopping dead in the hallway to check my hair, straighten my dress, and pose for my imagination. I became aware Théo was talking, again - he always was - saying, “You're wa wa wa,” or something. Call me a casual and indifferent listener. “Were you talking to me” I asked, “or just making words up?” He looked exasperated - why? “You're blocking the way,” he said, anxiously, in a squeaky voice, the way he said it made me think he’d said it before. He gently took my arm to move me along and I wobbled in my high-heels, I wasn’t very good with heels yet. “Easy,” I cautioned him, my arms briefly flailing. “You know,” I said defensively,“ someone PUT that mirror there.. probably Napoleon or Josephine - they WANTED people to stop there.” Men are so illogical, it’s a wonder they survive. As we finally entered the solarium, there was a jazz trio playing ‘C’est si bon’ (Arm in arm), what else? I said, “I’m starving.” A long table along a blue-glass wall featured desserts and champagne. My stomach growled. I looked around, there was nothing for it - action must be taken - and Théo was useless. “Want to go get something to eat? I asked him. He lit up as if awakened, “McDonalds?” he asked. Our conversations were in French, naturally. His joy probably meant his parents didn’t like him eating there (American cuisine! = junk food). “Bien sûr,” (of course) I said, grinning. I found my Grandmère in a cluster of elegantly dressed patrons - and there was Keira Knightley - gorgeous, in a dress like she wore in that ‘pirate’ movie - she movie-star glittered, otherworldly. “I’m starving,” I informed Grandmère, “we’re going to get something to eat,” I turned to show her Théo’s delighted face - he was her idea, after all. “I was hoping to introduce you…” she started. “Please!” I asked, bouncing up and down on my toes with some urgency, taking her hand. “Very well,” she said, sighing, after a moment. I turned away, wrestling my too-large iPhone-6-plus from my sparkly party clutch. “Hey Siri, Call Charles,” I commanded. A moment later Charles picked up. “McDonalds, Champs-Élysées,” I said, as Théo grinned, rubbing his hands in glee. “We’re in the solarium,” I added. “Eyes on,” Charles said, indicating that he had me in sight.
0
Nov 18, 2023
Nov 18, 2023 at 7:53 AM UTC
josephine’s place
It was the summer of 2014, I was just about to turn 13, spending June of summer vacation with my Grandmère, in Paris. Tonight we’re at a fundraising benefit for African relief (it’s always something). It was a coveted ticket, I was told, because Keira Knightley and Rita Ora were there - somewhere. It was being held at an empire-styled museum-estate in Paris, once owned by Josephine Bonaparte. The rooms were ornate in the extreme, with dark, woodland, panoramic wall murals, large, finicky-looking furniture, heavy, with gold encrusted - everything. It made the small, dark rooms and tight passageways seem foreboding and claustrophobic. A boy named Théo was my ‘date’ for the evening (NOT my idea). When my Grandmère was a girl, back when hoop skirts were the fashion and F. Scott Fitzgerald was just sharpening his pencils, a girl didn’t attend a function without a date. Théo was in my grade at school, but he was a couple of inches shorter than me, and his voice seemed different every time he talked. He was a surprise; I don’t even know how she found him. As we snaked through the main house to the solarium, in a parade of otherwise middle aged, formally dressed guests, the dim hallway squeezed us down to a single-file line. Théo kept trying to take my hand, in the darkness, like he’s scared or something. “Stop that!” I warned him. Then I saw a mirror - ‘Oh!’ I thought in surprise, stopping dead in the hallway to check my hair, straighten my dress, and pose for my imagination. I became aware Théo was talking, again - he always was - saying, “You're wa wa wa,” or something. Call me a casual and indifferent listener. “Were you talking to me” I asked, “or just making words up?” He looked exasperated - why? “You're blocking the way,” he said, anxiously, in a squeaky voice, the way he said it made me think he’d said it before. He gently took my arm to move me along and I wobbled in my high-heels, I wasn’t very good with heels yet. “Easy,” I cautioned him, my arms briefly flailing. “You know,” I said defensively,“ someone PUT that mirror there.. probably Napoleon or Josephine - they WANTED people to stop there.” Men are so illogical, it’s a wonder they survive. As we finally entered the solarium, there was a jazz trio playing ‘C’est si bon’ (Arm in arm), what else? I said, “I’m starving.” A long table along a blue-glass wall featured desserts and champagne. My stomach growled. I looked around, there was nothing for it - action must be taken - and Théo was useless. “Want to go get something to eat? I asked him. He lit up as if awakened, “McDonalds?” he asked. Our conversations were in French, naturally. His joy probably meant his parents didn’t like him eating there (American cuisine! = junk food). “Bien sûr,” (of course) I said, grinning. I found my Grandmère in a cluster of elegantly dressed patrons - and there was Keira Knightley - gorgeous, in a dress like she wore in that ‘pirate’ movie - she movie-star glittered, otherworldly. “I’m starving,” I informed Grandmère, “we’re going to get something to eat,” I turned to show her Théo’s delighted face - he was her idea, after all. “I was hoping to introduce you…” she started. “Please!” I asked, bouncing up and down on my toes with some urgency, taking her hand. “Very well,” she said, sighing, after a moment. I turned away, wrestling my too-large iPhone-6-plus from my sparkly party clutch. “Hey Siri, Call Charles,” I commanded. A moment later Charles picked up. “McDonalds, Champs-Élysées,” I said, as Théo grinned, rubbing his hands in glee. “We’re in the solarium,” I added. “Eyes on,” Charles said, indicating that he had me in sight.
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23
mail gets delivered everyday do you ever expect a letter from me asking you to meet me halfway? packages getting delivered under the windowsill accidentally spilling coffee on the water bill I have my book of stamps and personalized stationary too just give me a pen and tell me what address am I sending this letter to? pictures and videos your recorded laugh echoes seeing these old photos of you in your youth feels like waiting in line at a tollbooth visiting the past comes at a price it costs a pretty penny and tends to be unwise these pictures and letters will never make it to your mailbox just like when you see me you'll always move over to the other side of the sidewalk finding these captured moments of the past makes me want to climb in my car and drive fast you seemed happy then and even happier now it doesn't seem like I've brought you too down eight years ago today you gave me ten digits to dial I thought our six hundred and thirty six days spent together was beautiful like mosaic tile you were the first, that I cannot change but even if I could, there's nothing I would rearrange you still move me in ways i cannot explain even after all these years there are so many feelings that still remain some bad and some good just wondering do you still wear the sweatshirt I got you, the one with the hood? I'm sure I am forgotten about everything about me in your mind, completely wiped out which is fine just at least have a glimmer of when your heart was mine mail coming on the seventh day is a nice concept except no matter where you are, wherever the trees sway the mail never comes on Sunday
0
Jun 9, 2022
Jun 9, 2022 at 1:11 PM UTC
Sunday Mail
mail gets delivered everyday do you ever expect a letter from me asking you to meet me halfway? packages getting delivered under the windowsill accidentally spilling coffee on the water bill I have my book of stamps and personalized stationary too just give me a pen and tell me what address am I sending this letter to? pictures and videos your recorded laugh echoes seeing these old photos of you in your youth feels like waiting in line at a tollbooth visiting the past comes at a price it costs a pretty penny and tends to be unwise these pictures and letters will never make it to your mailbox just like when you see me you'll always move over to the other side of the sidewalk finding these captured moments of the past makes me want to climb in my car and drive fast you seemed happy then and even happier now it doesn't seem like I've brought you too down eight years ago today you gave me ten digits to dial I thought our six hundred and thirty six days spent together was beautiful like mosaic tile you were the first, that I cannot change but even if I could, there's nothing I would rearrange you still move me in ways i cannot explain even after all these years there are so many feelings that still remain some bad and some good just wondering do you still wear the sweatshirt I got you, the one with the hood? I'm sure I am forgotten about everything about me in your mind, completely wiped out which is fine just at least have a glimmer of when your heart was mine mail coming on the seventh day is a nice concept except no matter where you are, wherever the trees sway the mail never comes on Sunday
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36
all my life wanted to write just the way Joni (Mitchell) sings seesawing rising unexpected, write the changing temperament in the pitch, of now yawing, oscillating, speedy slow, enunciating the whip of love crazy twist to fall into a double-time bass baritone insane from and into a higher pitch, switch on the en garde, blue ink onto cloth napkin poetry plain plaintive, rendering the scene, rendering my heart, it's crazy high-lows, emotion backyard swing set *Oh Joni! I could drink a case of you* that is was what I told the single girls when I was a wooing man send me home, high and crying, thinking uneven, creatively, drinking you, pounding the dashboard, sing our palpitating poems thinking up the in-between songs of till next time that they loved so much they begged, sing it again and again I drank them all and think now of poem love songs, vintages that never caged, never aging, those songs I wrote for them, back in the day when Joni taught me how to see life in verse
0
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 6:17 AM UTC
write like Joni
for SJR who lets me borrow his voices, a good man, asks for nothing in return and therefore, is given all I got... ~~ “She's as sweet as tupelo honey She's an angel of the first degree She's as sweet as tupelo honey Just like the honey, baby, from the bee She's my baby, you know she's alright.....“ Van Morrison ~~~~~~<<<<<>>>>>~~~~~~~~~ *old folk listen to old folk and rock, stung and sprung from Pandora's box someday maybe, you'll understand, certain phrases, from certain phases, first tasted at a flavored oxygen bar where youth drank, worshipped and adored and when those certain word combinations reenter, slipping in from unawares, recalling easy the first time you tasted with your ears, Tupelo Honey but what you remember is that differentiating phrase and what you believed, what you needed, why you existed, all because there was a new knowing*, that an angel of the first degree, was out there waiting for you...
0
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 5:07 PM UTC
an angel of the first degree (May 2014)
the irises have passed, their existence, entirety, a three week, 21 day, gun salute, to which I was witness to but an abbreviated four short generational days the Kabbalist among us say Kaddish, and a-Buddhist chants so-be-it, both celebrating the brevity cycle of natural things, both notating, that death makes room for more ugly yelloe'd and black now, these irises are now misfits on a breezy, dancing summer lawn today, shriveled and misshapen, they compare and contrast on a normative, glorious, June Sunday that picturesque presents the living and the deceased, side by side all comrades, all summer sundries on a dancing grass blanket half-graveyard battlefield, the half-heaven oft I have writ of the beach detritus, the shells, the sun burnt ***** a recycled funeral rectory where no one utters prayers for the no longer alive historical artifacts what has this to do with that human construct, artifice of memory, a string on the finger of the mind, a pausation, a man-made creation to momentarily recall another of nature's cycle - your children Have children. Am a father. Had a father in my youthful days. this is a boy scout qualification medal, marker of me as Expert, permitting me to commentary with gravitas, now that I’ve graduated to grandfather status, I enjoy superstar freedom to opine inanely on such matters of my father have I writ, of my sons, those remain unseen, likely neither will mark these day with a telephone call or an all-I-got-was-this-lousy-t shirt gift of gall I say that's ok for what else is there, certainly not an unthinking, dismissive whatever it saddens me some for sure, but it makes judge myself as human being on a gradation of one to none but more than this internal reflection, I ponder this hallmark'd day, as life cycle point notarized, in verse and rhyme, for that is what I do best for before, many father's day in the priory passed, most unrecallable, just another ceremonial checkmark, habitually acquitted, but somewhere in a drawer of shirts, in a home I store stuff in, I do believe, there are some cards from decades past, that prove nothing, other than life goes on, and we best capture what we can, as best we can... with small, objet d'art of sorts Perhaps one will call after all... in any event, to honor the dead, to mark the existing, the bannered ship's bell rung, its sonorous sound, notable and onerous, fades as well but man and animal, plant and tree, a living fraternal sorority, who all look over my shoulder as I compose on that Adirondack chair you by now, we’ll acquainted they know, for whom the bell tolls this day, and why as well, as we all pause and contemplate where we are on this day, on our own overlapping cycles
0
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 11:55 AM UTC
A Be-lated Father's Day Note (June 2014)
the irises have passed, their existence, entirety, a three week, 21 day, gun salute, to which I was witness to but an abbreviated four short generational days the Kabbalist among us say Kaddish, and a-Buddhist chants so-be-it, both celebrating the brevity cycle of natural things, both notating, that death makes room for more ugly yelloe'd and black now, these irises are now misfits on a breezy, dancing summer lawn today, shriveled and misshapen, they compare and contrast on a normative, glorious, June Sunday that picturesque presents the living and the deceased, side by side all comrades, all summer sundries on a dancing grass blanket half-graveyard battlefield, the half-heaven oft I have writ of the beach detritus, the shells, the sun burnt ***** a recycled funeral rectory where no one utters prayers for the no longer alive historical artifacts what has this to do with that human construct, artifice of memory, a string on the finger of the mind, a pausation, a man-made creation to momentarily recall another of nature's cycle - your children Have children. Am a father. Had a father in my youthful days. this is a boy scout qualification medal, marker of me as Expert, permitting me to commentary with gravitas, now that I’ve graduated to grandfather status, I enjoy superstar freedom to opine inanely on such matters of my father have I writ, of my sons, those remain unseen, likely neither will mark these day with a telephone call or an all-I-got-was-this-lousy-t shirt gift of gall I say that's ok for what else is there, certainly not an unthinking, dismissive whatever it saddens me some for sure, but it makes judge myself as human being on a gradation of one to none but more than this internal reflection, I ponder this hallmark'd day, as life cycle point notarized, in verse and rhyme, for that is what I do best for before, many father's day in the priory passed, most unrecallable, just another ceremonial checkmark, habitually acquitted, but somewhere in a drawer of shirts, in a home I store stuff in, I do believe, there are some cards from decades past, that prove nothing, other than life goes on, and we best capture what we can, as best we can... with small, objet d'art of sorts Perhaps one will call after all... in any event, to honor the dead, to mark the existing, the bannered ship's bell rung, its sonorous sound, notable and onerous, fades as well but man and animal, plant and tree, a living fraternal sorority, who all look over my shoulder as I compose on that Adirondack chair you by now, we’ll acquainted they know, for whom the bell tolls this day, and why as well, as we all pause and contemplate where we are on this day, on our own overlapping cycles
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105
is it **** for you to think you've been burned think it was your new chapter your chance at a New York Times Best Seller to make a villain of me to make me operate play doctor dissect and cut open every part of me, to look for a corruption, an ulcer, a cancer, that you'd fabricated?
0
Apr 25, 2020
Apr 25, 2020 at 11:02 AM UTC
trash tongue talker
I braced myself for the impact of what the blow would be. Kissing the sleep out of you on that cloudy Saturday morning keeps on running through my mind like the memories are water swirling in a whirlpool, they keep going and going before my eyes and I can't shut it out to sleep. You- God kissing you, feeling one of your arms go under my neck and the other around my waist made me feel like all the harsh silences and sad facts became irrelevant and all that mattered was the way you kissed me by the piano and the way you pulled my body towards you this morning. I'm preparing myself for the blow of you leaving and I don't want to.
0
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 23, 2019 at 9:40 PM UTC
Brace for impact
Passive stances and subtle aggression ***** dishes wiped clean A bucket of bleach and toxic masculinity This is home to me, Lavish meals and trips dripping in fantasy Older men's eyes had *** with me While my neck was seared with fake jewelry Home appears to follow me, Desire wears a scarf of sin Lust around my ankles and wrists Naked for all to see This was home to me.
0
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 1:38 AM UTC
Carnival
It is possible for grammar to- be a mistake ... sometimes words are NEVER  perfect I type, text errors true words, though run like a stream FLOWING from my brain BUT this brain my brain had been under construction for all my entire being words were born in here in my brain developed collecting images from my.... surroundings elevation no conclusion BUT I was counting scrambling numbers poor additions about life adding, nothing NOT YET.... no method salvation with a bit of seizure relying on them to save me deppening on them to revive a tune to make these mistakes look pretty??? There are many languages devided = many errors in                             perfect grammar + the ones with gutts rasing amo   graph-ic-assurence firing reprisal ______________________= unique insignifacance intellect that does not belong to the world it is possible for mistakes to be a grammar unexplained not understanding why I have to prove perfection when there is no such existance in humen kind. © The Madd Hatteress
0
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 8:03 PM UTC
GRAMMER: (writing/poetry)
is Corrie ten Boom´s Favorite Quote. The Master Weaver’s Plan My life is but a weaving Between the Lord and me; I may not choose the colors– He knows what they should be. For He can view the pattern Upon the upper side While I can see it only On this, the underside. Sometimes He weaves in sorrow, Which seems so strange to me; But I will trust His judgment And work on faithfully. ‘Tis He who fills the shuttle, And He knows what is best; So I shall weave in earnest, And leave to Him the rest. Not ’til the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly Shall God unroll the canvas And explain the reason why. The dark threads are as needed In the Weaver’s skillful hand As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern, He has planned. by AUTHOR UNKNOWN Based upon research, have discovered that more than one person has been credited with authorship of this poem. For now, have decided to list it as “author unknown” until there is further clarification. Corrie ten Boom. These words said Corrie ten Boom, the author of many many books. I feel honored and humbled that I may show you this poem she constantly presented in her life as a token of love to God and let you know about her. As Corrie ten Boom said the true author of this poem is still unknown. I am only the one who gives through. with love, Sylvia Frances Chan Wednesday, 20 December 2017
0
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 20, 2017 at 10:16 PM UTC
The Master Weaver’s Plan
To my once dearest friend, I simply wish to make amends, I know that you've moved on It's my turn to go. But what's it like to realize That what we felt were only lies And not for real? Did it catch you by surprise, And did he open up your eyes To how you feel? I just want to know, my friend; What's it like to fall in love again? I often wished to write, but then, I feared upsetting you again. I really should move on, But I need to know. Will I look into her eyes Only to think of all the times I looked at you? Will not everything she does Simply remind me of the love That I first knew? I just want to know, my friend; What's it like to fall in love again? I can't help thinking of The day I get to fall in love And show how far I've come, That I've let go. But what's it like to realize That your first love was all a lie And not for real? When she looks me in the eye Will it catch me by surprise just how I feel? I just want to know my friend; What's it like to fall in love again? I'm not sure how I'll feel. How will I know if it is real, Or if it's better that I run; I need to know. Will she catch me off my guard And will I feel within my heart A love that's strong? Or will I know upon first sight When I'm with her I am right Where I belong? I just want to know, my friend; Will she help me off the ground And will I at last be found As I take her hand? It hurt like nothing else before When you knocked me to the floor, I couldn't stand. Though I know you said we can't be friends; Tell me, what's it like to fall in love again? 9/10/14
0
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 1:08 AM UTC
Fall in Love Again
To my once dearest friend, I simply wish to make amends, I know that you've moved on It's my turn to go. But what's it like to realize That what we felt were only lies And not for real? Did it catch you by surprise, And did he open up your eyes To how you feel? I just want to know, my friend; What's it like to fall in love again? I often wished to write, but then, I feared upsetting you again. I really should move on, But I need to know. Will I look into her eyes Only to think of all the times I looked at you? Will not everything she does Simply remind me of the love That I first knew? I just want to know, my friend; What's it like to fall in love again? I can't help thinking of The day I get to fall in love And show how far I've come, That I've let go. But what's it like to realize That your first love was all a lie And not for real? When she looks me in the eye Will it catch me by surprise just how I feel? I just want to know my friend; What's it like to fall in love again? I'm not sure how I'll feel. How will I know if it is real, Or if it's better that I run; I need to know. Will she catch me off my guard And will I feel within my heart A love that's strong? Or will I know upon first sight When I'm with her I am right Where I belong? I just want to know, my friend; Will she help me off the ground And will I at last be found As I take her hand? It hurt like nothing else before When you knocked me to the floor, I couldn't stand. Though I know you said we can't be friends; Tell me, what's it like to fall in love again? 9/10/14
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SHAPESHIFTING 7/25/2014 in under two minutes I could shed my skin my limbs aren't my own- to be in your presence to feel the warmth hearing breaths, chest moving If your arms are around mine the shift becomes inside like the plates of the earths core positioning right into each other filling each other, filling me up shapeshifting I'm not me when I'm with you I'm indebted to this feeling take my skin; my veins - rip out my entire being shapeshifting for you
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Oct 28, 2017
Oct 28, 2017 at 12:30 AM UTC
SHAPESHIFTING
We never see it but is always there and we know it is there, we can feel it Maybe because we are not prepare to open our eyes to this great world Where the moon is never the same and a new painting is always there   waiting to be discover in a shy frame made of dreams and wishes of gold F To open our eyes we are never too old But yet we can be too small to realize That this world can be warm and cold
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Oct 27, 2017
Oct 27, 2017 at 11:36 AM UTC
Magic
My mind was on holiday It couldn't quite take me far enough away To escape your moral decay I was always lured with bait It took a decade to turn to hate I'm sorry I left the party I gazed into your eyes and saw tomorrow   Only time will tell If I broke the spell It's not easy to leave you In your rendition of hell
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May 24, 2017
May 24, 2017 at 5:15 PM UTC
"Sabbatical"
They ascended Left me Earth bound The world Ended Yet I'm still Around Flesh Eating Monsters Hunt Where I sleep Still I own This Soul That You Seek ...
0
Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 6:48 AM UTC
SOUL SEEKER
We get to the hospital, and walk to the ward where you are, and I notice straight away something is wrong: you're all puffed up as if someone had pumped you up with gas. What's happened to you? I say. Your sister looks at you and I can see she is as shocked as I am to see you like you are. You say a few words, but they're too quiet for me to grasp. When did you pass ***** last? I say. You look at me with your large eyes which seem larger. This morning I think, you reply, your voice soft as if speaking was an effort. Be back in a moment, I say, and leave you with your sister while I go off in search of a nurse or doctor. Visitors are coming and going, other patients sit on beds or in beds, and I see a nurse in a dark uniform thinking maybe she's in charge. I approach her, and she looks at me. I'm Ole's father and I am not happy the way he is being cared for, I say. Why? What's the matter with him? She says, eyeing me. He's all puffed up, he has an infection of some kind, he can hardly breathe, and he hasn't passed ***** since yesterday morning to my knowledge. She looks at me with frowning brows: he was all right earlier when the doctor saw him, she says. Well he isn't now, I say, he needs a catheter and something to help him breath, he's in a bad away, I say. I can't give an catheter, unless a doctor tells me to, she says. Well he needs one soon, I say, and he can hardly hold the mug he's drinking from, as his hands are so puffed up. She looks over her shoulder. I'll get the doctor to see him when he's back from A& E, she says, we're so busy. Well make sure he does, I say annoyed now, and on the edge of bellowing out, but don't. She nods and walks off. I sigh, and go back you still sitting there, bent over, on the side of the bed; your sister goes off, too upset to remain. Can I get you anything? I ask. Drink of orange, you say. I pour you orange and add water from the plastic jug. I complained about how you are being treated, I say. You nod: can you help me on bed, I need to lie down, you say. I help you on the bed and arrange your pillows behind your head. You sip the orange, then hand it to me. I put it on the side cabinet. You lie there staring at your puffed up hands: I can't eat properly, you say, my jaw aches as I eat. I look at your puffed up features. She said the doc will come see you when he's done in A& E, I say. You say nothing. I sit and talk to you about mundane things, and you reply gently finding it hard to talk. Then you close your eyes, and I say: look I will leave you now, let you rest. You open your eyes and say: Ok. I'll be back tomorrow with Mike, I say, bring you fresh clothes and a book. You nod your head, and I kiss your forehead and I go, and you close your eyes for sleep. That memory of that last talk with you, I will always keep.
0
Feb 7, 2017
Feb 7, 2017 at 7:43 AM UTC
LAST TIME WE TALKED 2014.
We get to the hospital, and walk to the ward where you are, and I notice straight away something is wrong: you're all puffed up as if someone had pumped you up with gas. What's happened to you? I say. Your sister looks at you and I can see she is as shocked as I am to see you like you are. You say a few words, but they're too quiet for me to grasp. When did you pass ***** last? I say. You look at me with your large eyes which seem larger. This morning I think, you reply, your voice soft as if speaking was an effort. Be back in a moment, I say, and leave you with your sister while I go off in search of a nurse or doctor. Visitors are coming and going, other patients sit on beds or in beds, and I see a nurse in a dark uniform thinking maybe she's in charge. I approach her, and she looks at me. I'm Ole's father and I am not happy the way he is being cared for, I say. Why? What's the matter with him? She says, eyeing me. He's all puffed up, he has an infection of some kind, he can hardly breathe, and he hasn't passed ***** since yesterday morning to my knowledge. She looks at me with frowning brows: he was all right earlier when the doctor saw him, she says. Well he isn't now, I say, he needs a catheter and something to help him breath, he's in a bad away, I say. I can't give an catheter, unless a doctor tells me to, she says. Well he needs one soon, I say, and he can hardly hold the mug he's drinking from, as his hands are so puffed up. She looks over her shoulder. I'll get the doctor to see him when he's back from A& E, she says, we're so busy. Well make sure he does, I say annoyed now, and on the edge of bellowing out, but don't. She nods and walks off. I sigh, and go back you still sitting there, bent over, on the side of the bed; your sister goes off, too upset to remain. Can I get you anything? I ask. Drink of orange, you say. I pour you orange and add water from the plastic jug. I complained about how you are being treated, I say. You nod: can you help me on bed, I need to lie down, you say. I help you on the bed and arrange your pillows behind your head. You sip the orange, then hand it to me. I put it on the side cabinet. You lie there staring at your puffed up hands: I can't eat properly, you say, my jaw aches as I eat. I look at your puffed up features. She said the doc will come see you when he's done in A& E, I say. You say nothing. I sit and talk to you about mundane things, and you reply gently finding it hard to talk. Then you close your eyes, and I say: look I will leave you now, let you rest. You open your eyes and say: Ok. I'll be back tomorrow with Mike, I say, bring you fresh clothes and a book. You nod your head, and I kiss your forehead and I go, and you close your eyes for sleep. That memory of that last talk with you, I will always keep.
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93
The lowly amber circles attune on the savanna grass of Serengeti as the glow penetrates our tent where the hungry hyenas nudge At the dawn of four thirty when dew recollects on the green and the lioness pawn are grounded at the lawn where we once laid You are possessive and protective rejective and a handsome danger hypnotized by spells of the acacia trees dancing under the thousand stars As I unlearn the memoirs of the past within the decorative adventures where the world was ours to hold in shades of deep blue and reds   Float baby, stow on the highways where we changed to hues of black with beautiful stacked memories in the wild chasing the leopards Flow baby, stroll on the railways where we felt a million tunes tracking hunts and ******* rants cautious of the predatory play Fight baby, sew the sutured heart where once a love was a lullaby at the drop of the Kilimanjaro unfreed from all the carry-ons
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Jan 30, 2017
Jan 30, 2017 at 3:48 PM UTC
The Serengeti Sunset
The reflection came too late and now I must wait, for the mirror is fogged. Dogged by the memory of the years that passed by me, I see shadows, halo's of lights. I fight my way up no use staying here not when the new year is on the horizon.. It's funny. I always trust being on the cusp.
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Dec 31, 2016
Dec 31, 2016 at 4:51 AM UTC
Jigsaw pieces
I stand on the pathway with blank eyes, With a big frown staring at the sky; I see the darkness behind the sun light, alas, they could read the fear in me with an insight. But they don't, as there is no darkness remains here after, It is only my fear, fear of failure which is masking  the joy with a plaster. I know that fear will lose the battle one day, and inner strength will join the hands with joy. allowing me to see only brightness behind the sunshine and no other darkness hereafter.
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Sep 15, 2016
Sep 15, 2016 at 2:51 AM UTC
Struggle within
*Hello, Everyday I see you, Everyday I see you walk by, Everyday I see you pass through, All those times, All those chances, I still don't have the courage to say even just one hello.*
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Sep 1, 2016
Sep 1, 2016 at 6:46 AM UTC
Hello
I've found hope in a far off dream So distantly impossible it does seem. Others think I'm a fool to believe  Even though I know they think I know not. This dream is the thing for which I reach Even though I know I'm unlikely to succeed Others they think I'm going insane Even though I know they know not. They tell me give up, they say to move on Find another purpose, write a different song. They don't understand, they can't comprehend  Even though I know they don't know it's all I've got. I ignore what they say, I choose to press on But my heart starts to feel like it's wandering on. I say I'm ok, that there will be hope for one day, Even though I know they know I have not. Not sure where I'm going, I hold on to where I've been As if I have some sort of direction, I try to pretend. Without this dream I have nowhere to go Even though I know they know that I'm lost. 1/19/14
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Jun 11, 2016
Jun 11, 2016 at 5:37 PM UTC
Even though I know
Every time I finally start to overcome  And from my feelings find the strength to run; There, around the corner, are my memories waiting, And I suddenly begin to realize that my strength is quickly fading. It doesn't seem to ever long enough last. I never seem to truly overcome my past. It haunts me in my dreams whether I'm asleep or awake. It knocks me down and beats me till once again I break. I try so hard, I really do, I try my best to look forward to Every good thing that will come from this pain, And every little gift I'll in the end gain. I know that everything has happened for a reason, I only wonder at what time or in which season? When will the past at last be behind me? What must I do to find you to come find me? How long will it take, I've truly begun to wonder, When I no long hear this passing thunder; The clash-clanging reminder of that which has been, To finally see the sun along with a newly best friend? Again I say my best is being done, To this drenching pain at last overcome. Yes I'm doing my best to weather the storm Still it's leaving me feeling so battered and worn. 8/21/14 10:46 p
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Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 11:39 PM UTC
Overcome
I've never felt so safe, as your lips touched my face. My love surrounds you, like the power of an invisible cape. I can still hear your pleads, as you wish to lay next to me. But don't try to find me. You'll only feel me bleed.
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Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 10:29 PM UTC
Feel