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#1956
I must have been eight or nine and my old man said wait out here I won't be long and he went up the steps to the hospital. I waited in the evening air and watched the night sky stars and moon wondering how far away they were and how bright the moon was. Traffic passed on the road headlights and street lights. I waited sensing the chill and wondered how mother was and when she'd be home again. A man came out and lit up a cigarette and stared at the sky exhaling clouds of smoke which seemed to mingle with the stars and moon. He looked over at me then away looking at the passing traffic a long time then he went inside and the smoke lingered and drifted away. My old man came out his collar up but how mother was he didn't say.
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May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 4:13 PM UTC
He Didnt Say 1956.
She went with me to pick chickweed from the bomb site off of the Meadow Row for the budgerigar at home in the birdcage. "How much you need Benny?" she asked me kneeling down on the bombed out wreckage. "A few bunches will do it." We gathered up bunches in our eight year old hands and poked them in a bag. We looked towards the road busy traffic passed by. People walked the pavement in determined fashion each with destinations that only they knew of to or from place else. "Can we go to the park?" She asked."Can if you like" I replied. We walked off down Meadow Row and up the stairway to the flat. We gave the bird the **** then went off to the park. The whole place was crowded with other kids like us kids from the rough places with grazed knees and scratched hands and pale ***** faces.
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Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 9:33 AM UTC
Kids at Play 1956
Steam rushes up from the steam train at the station. It twirls up and along the roof like a released demon. You watch it with your young boy's eyes. People rush past to get on the train. You sit watching wondering where they are destined. You smell it. The train smell. The sounds of steam and power. Like a dragon. Porters walk past with wagons of luggage. You dream of being an engine driver. To the seaside. That time with your grandparents a year back. Big steam train dark black.
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Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 5:05 AM UTC
Steam Train 1956.
Your gran was making sandwiches for our small picnic in the park. It had been your idea, although we wanted to to go swimming, but your gran said she didn't like you going to the swimming pool with those women wearing those skimpy swimming costumes. Once she'd done the sandwiches we set off for the park. Gran said it is always best to tell truth, Benny, you said, lies are complicated things needing a good memory and poor soul. I always try to tell the truth, I said, but now and then a lie creeps out and before you know it it has grown like a big snake. We went down the subway talking, our voices echoing along the walls. You were wearing that red beret on top of your long fair hair. We walked along to the park. Why do people lie? you said. I guess it seems to get them out of trouble or get them things, I said. But to lie is bad, you said. We entered the park and found an area of grass in the sun and sat down. I had two bottles of pop and you had the sandwiches. We began to eat and sip the pop. You talked about school and what Mr Finn had said about the Norman kings. I watched two dogs over way doing kind of weird things.
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Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 12:18 PM UTC
Picnic with Janice 1956
She wore a red beret on top of her blonde head of hair. She had pale features and pale blue eyes. God must have had a good day when he created her. We walked to school, going under the railway bridge and up behind the large cinema, and then down the subway. Gran has bought me a book, she said. What book? I said. What Katy Did, she said. What did she do? I said. She related to me as far as she had read. It was not my kind of book, but she seemed to think it great. We walked along St George's Road, past the clothing store my old man got his suits(he bought me a black blazer there once). Have you any books? she asked. A few, I said. What are they? she asked. I told her the titles of the books. But my favourite is about Robin Hood, I said. I told her the story. She listened without interrupting(unusual) until we got to school. We parted at the gates( couldn't let other boys see me with a girl or they'd think I had gone ***** I met Denis in the playground. We swapped cards. He gave me a strip of gum and we talked about what his old man did in the War in someplace called Sicily. One of us past wind and I knew it wasn't me.
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Feb 24, 2018
Feb 24, 2018 at 2:32 AM UTC
She Wore a Red Beret 1956.
Benedict picked small stones from the bombsite; Janice watched him standing just to one side. Wonder how he knows which stone is right. She gazed at his quiff of hair; at his coloured patterned jumper; his blue jeans. How do you know which stone fits your catapult?she asked. He let a stone bump up and down in his palm. I just know, he said. He studied her standing in her pink cardigan and white dress; a red beret on her head. Want a go on my catapult? he said. She wasn't sure. It looked dangerous. He took his catapult from his back pocket and showed her how it went and hit a tin can off the wall. Janice watched the tin can fall.
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Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017 at 5:20 PM UTC
Catapult Watching 1956
I watched as the canary walked along Janice's small finger, her grandmother was in the kitchen getting tea and cake. Does it speak any new words? I said. It doesn't say the words you tried to teach it, Janice said, which nearly got me into trouble. So what does it say? I asked. Pretty girl, it says, Janice said. The bird walked back along her finger. I gazed at Janice's hair, long and neatly brushed over her shoulders; the red beret sat on the side of her head. Her gran came in with teapot and cups and saucers on a tray. Don't let that bird fly out the window, Gran said, put it back in its cage. Janice put the bird back in the cage and shut the door. The bird looked peeved being back inside and nibbled wildly at the bars. Her gran went out to fetch the cake. If I'd been alone I'd have help the bird make a break.
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Sep 4, 2017
Sep 4, 2017 at 12:25 PM UTC
Caged Bird 1956.
Benny took his bow and arrows onto the grass behind Arrol House. Jim had a crossbow with three arrows. On the area away from them Jim had set up a target. Mine is more accurate he said because I can view along the line of the crossbow you have to view along by where your hand holds the bow. Jim went first and hit the target spot on. Your turn now he said. Benny aimed at the target and fired his arrow but missed the target it fell on the grass behind. Told you he said try again. Jim went first and fired and hit the target again. Benny aimed at the target and hit it and the arrow stuck on the target. That's good Jim said. They played around with the arrows and targets for quite some time then his mother said it was time for dinner and he went in. Benny went back to his parents' flat and put his bow and arrows away and had lunch. He read in a history book that at the battle of Agincourt an archer could fire 12 arrows in a minute and an arrow could wound someone at 250 yards but killed them at a 100 yards and in the battle a 1,000 arrows were fired every second. I must tell Jim that Benny mused my arrows hadn't gone that far maybe if I took the rubber plunger off the end it would go much farther but it might be dangerous he thought and get in trouble if I got caught.
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Aug 8, 2017
Aug 8, 2017 at 3:32 AM UTC
BOW AND ARROWS 1956.
The ice-cream van drew up in the Square. Kids stood in a queue to buy an ice cream or lolly depending how much money they had as to what they bought. Once the kids or adult had gone he pulled down the window got in front and started up the van. It was then that us kids held on at the sides out of sight and held on as long as we could before he went too fast or too far then jump off at the last minute on to the tarmac travelling along trying to stand up and not fall down. Why do you do it? Janice said you might hurt yourself. Some kids fell over I managed to stand on my feet. It's a bit of fun I said. But you might have fallen underneath she said. No way he's going away from us when we jump off I said want a cool cola from the 1d shop? Ok she said. So we walked on up through the Square and across Rockingham Street and along to the 1d shop. It was hot work hanging on to the side of the van of the ice cream man.
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Jul 18, 2017
Jul 18, 2017 at 11:12 AM UTC
ICE CREAM VAN 1956.
Janice said the man along the balcony from her gran's flat had cut his throat and the ambulance men came and wrapped him in bandages and took him away on a stretcher. She said it was horrible blood soaking through the bandages his mother walking beside the stretcher bemoaning him. We were sitting on the grass in front of  Banks House. I was cleaning my silver looking toy 6 shooter with a handkerchief from my blue jeans' pocket. Why'd he cut his throat? I said. Janice said she didn't know but that his mother was moaning at him as the ambulance men were taking him off. Some guy on our balcony did that a while ago I said think he was in debt with a bookies runner. A bookies runner? she said what's that? He puts bets on for you I said so my old man says. She looked at me it looked horrible all that blood. Guess it did the guy on our balcony had a scar after made him look like Al Capone I said aiming my gun at the sky at a flying pigeon and going KAPOW. Who is Al Capone? she said does he live on your balcony? I smiled no he moved out a while ago I said not mentioning he was a gangster in the USA and was dead.
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Jun 29, 2017
Jun 29, 2017 at 9:24 AM UTC
JANICE AND AL CAPONE 1956.
Janice's gran said don't let the canary fly out the window. I won't Janice said. Gran made sure all windows and doors were shut. Ok you can let the bird out now her gran said. I stood watching as Janice opened the birdcage put her hand in the yellow canary jumped onto her small finger. She brought the bird out on her finger we watched as it fluttered its wings and chirped loudly. Janice lifted her finger level with her eyes and spoke to it. I said nothing but stood there watching. Her gran had only let me in if I promised not to teach the bird bad language I promised. Who's a pretty boy then Janice said. The bird held its head to one side chirped but said no words. He spoke that time when I was alone with him and told him a few words and he said them almost straight away. I wondered if he remembered me and would repeat them today.
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May 14, 2017
May 14, 2017 at 3:32 AM UTC
BENNY AND THE CANARY 1956
Some kid in class said his big brother (in the army) was going to a war zone. I listened like the others imagining the ra-tat-tat of machine-guns or snipers on rooftops or big tanks forcing their way through buildings. The kid said his parents were worried and his mother cried. Where is the war zone? a boy said (nosey **** I sat at the desk just behind the kid's sticking out ears reddening with attention. Brother said he can't say the kid said. The collar of his white shirt was frayed and more grey and white. The girls in class stared at him none wishing to mother him or show concern. Mr Finn entered the class all stood up and uttered a welcome. Sit down the teacher said. I wondered if it came to it if the kid's big brother would make it through or be shot dead through the head.
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May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 10:54 AM UTC
BENNY OVERHEARD 1956.
The yellow canary sings in it's cage. Gran sits sleeping in her armchair snoring. I am by the window looking out at the rain raindrops sliding down the glass like tears. I wanted to go with Benny but then it started raining and Gran said no to stay in the dry. I look out at the block of flats opposite where Benny lives with his parents and brother and sister. Bath Terrace is below   and across the way is the coal wharf where I can see the coal men coming and going some drawn in horse drawn wagons. Benny said he would show me his favourite bomb site. It used to be a butcher's shop but was bombed in the War and only the ruins are there now boarded up but he said there is a way in. Best not tell Gran or she'll not let me go. I hope it stops raining soon. My doll sits on the settee staring into space hands holding out as if she wanted to be picked up. Maybe she wants feeding or her ***** changed. The rain drops hit the windowpane. I hope it stops and never rains again.
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Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 3:36 AM UTC
JANICE ON A RAINY DAY 1956.
I met Janice by the gates of Jail Park off Bath Terrace as it was near to the flat where she lived with her gran and her gran had said it looked like rain. The park was packed with kids but we managed to get a ride on the see-saw going up and down using her legs as pumps. Gran smacked me last night Janice said. What for? I asked. Well she asked me what I had been doing and I told her I had been using your catapult and that was it Janice said. Why did you tell her? I asked. I always tell Gran the truth Benny Janice replied. Always? I said. She nodded of course it says in the Bible to always tell the truth. Once the swings were free we went over and took a swing each and pushed off racing each other into the air. I mused on what Janice had said as she rode high beside me. I told the truth when it was safe to do so but if in doubt I thought leave it out.
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Apr 9, 2017
Apr 9, 2017 at 3:41 AM UTC
TRUTH IN THE SCALES 1956
A fight had broken out between two boys in the playground. A crowd had surrounded it and a chant of fight fight fight went up from the other boys. A few punches were thrown but it consisted mainly of pushing and shoving and wild swings that went no where. I stood in the crowd watching seeing who would win or throw a decisive punch but neither did. Punches landed on arms or chests and be absorbed. None of the girls came and watched they carried on with their games of skip rope or hop skip and jump. My mother had said if any one hits you hit them back if you can't punch then kick if you can't kick bite. But as I wasn't involved I just watched. My money was on the tall kid the tubby kid was slow and missed more often than he hit. Then the teacher came and broke up the fight with words of move away move away and stop the fighting. The two boys were taken off to the head teacher's office and the crowd dispersed and went about its mid morning business of cards or games of war with imaginary guns or swords. I played cards with Jupp head down not looking around or up.
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Apr 8, 2017
Apr 8, 2017 at 4:35 AM UTC
BENNY ONE MID MORNING 1956.
Janice held Benny's catapult in her small hand and taking a small stone from Benny's held out palm. She fitted it in the pouch and taking the pouch between her fingers she pulled it back towards her chest and closing an eye. Where shall I aim it? she said. Aim at the tins I have put on the wall of that bombed out house Benny said. She looked at the tins and aimed. I can't see the catapult end she said. You have the wrong eye closed Benny said. She closed the other eye o I see it now which tin? Any tin he said. She pulled the pouch back as far she she could and then released it. The stone whizzed past the tins and hit the wall behind with a clatter. I missed she said. You did he said. Shall I try again? She said. He handed her another stone and she put it in the pouch and pulled back and aimed then released it. It hit a tin side on and sent it spinning out of sight. I did it she said. You did he said. She jumped up and down excitedly and handed Benny back his catapult. He smiled and went and got his stones over the low wall finding the tin. He mused on Janice and what her gran would say if she knew the catapult being (as far as she was concerned) the big sin.
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Mar 16, 2017
Mar 16, 2017 at 2:25 PM UTC
JANICE AND THE CATAPULT 1956
Our canary died Janice said as she and Benny walked along Bath Terrace. How did it die? Benny said. I don't know Janice said Gran found it at the bottom of its cage this morning. What did you do with it? Benny asked. Gran put it in a paper bag and dropped it in the refuse chute of the flats Janice said. Shame Benny said I used to like talking to your bird. I know you did but you taught it to say bad words Janice said. They came to the junction of Rockingham Street and walked by the coal wharf on their left. Will you get another bird? Benny asked. Don't know depends on what Gran wants to do or whether she'll just sell the cage Janice said. They walked along the narrow road behind the cinema and Benny stopped by the bomb site and picked up small stones for his catapult and put them in the pocket of his blue jeans. Doesn't your mother mind you having a catapult? Janice said. No as long as I am careful with it Benny said I only hit tin cans with it not birds or windows. Can I have a go some day only don't tell Gran she doesn't approve Janice said. I won't Benny said. They walked on into the New Kent Road and on to Bedlam Park to go to the war museum there. The sky was a dull grey and the smell of rain in the air.
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Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017 at 4:24 AM UTC
RAIN IN THE AIR 1956.
Janice is in the playground playing skip rope with two other girls. I'm playing marbles with Dennis and Dave against the playground wall. I have put my favourite marble out there hoping to win the lot. Dave crouches low and flicks his blue marble it hits Dennis's pink marble. Dennis looks over at the girls skipping your turn Den Dave says standing up. Dennis crouches down and continues the game his marble misses and hits the wall he stands up looks at the girls again. You can see their knickers when they skip he says. Who cares Dave says crouching down intent on the game. I watch the game hoping my marbles don't get lost especially the blue one I think as lucky. Dennis looks back at the game. The girls skip on intent on their game. I bend down and aim and miss and curse and the game is won and lost to my and Dennis's cost.
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Feb 8, 2017
Feb 8, 2017 at 3:25 AM UTC
GAME LOST 1956.
I saw Janice sitting at the front of class beside another girl. I was at the back of class with Cardamom. Janice had her fair hair tied with a red ribbon at the back. Cardamom smelt of the unwashed. Mr Finn talked of Saxons and Angles and raids and pillaging. I watched as Mr Finn chalked on the black board, his fingers holding the chalk tight. Guess what I saw? Cardamom said quietly, leaning his head towards me. No what? I said. Two kids kissing in the bog, he said. I liked Janice's fair hair tied with the red ribbon. Cardamom talked on about who they were: fecking kissing, he said, two boys. I nodded, but said nothing. I watched Mr Finn's chalk bring a Saxon to life. Then wondered if it was drawn from memory or from his head, from life maybe his sour-faced wife.
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Jan 8, 2017
Jan 8, 2017 at 9:12 AM UTC
SAXONS AND SUCH 1956.
You watched Benny twirl his 6 shooter around his 8 year old finger, then cleverly put it back in the holster on the right hand side of his jeans;his cowboy hat was on string about his neck, the hat at the back. He saw you going towards him. Hi Janice, did you see that? See me twirl the gun? You nodded: Yes that was good; where did you learn to do that? Saw it at the flicks, he said, this cowboy did it and I copied him, and practised. You walked up to him and saw his hazel eyes and brown hair with the curl at the front. Want to have ago? He said. Ok, you said. He gave you the gun out of the holster, and you put it onto your 6 year old finger awkwardly, and tried to twirl it, but it fell from your finger and flew off, but Benny caught it and handed it back to you. Try again, he said. So you did, but slower and after a number of tries, you finally got it to twirl a couple of times. See you did it, he said smiling. Not so good as you though, you said, handing him the gun. Practise is how, he said, you got a gun at home you can practise with? No, you said, I'm a girl; anyway Gran wouldn't like me to have a gun at home. It's only a toy gun, it's not real, he said, but he never told you that the night before he shot Billy the Kid and Wyatt Earp dead.
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Dec 1, 2016
Dec 1, 2016 at 1:27 PM UTC
BENNY THE KID 1956
Old Mrs Murphy made sure we were all sitting quietly in the classroom and she began talking about codes and puzzles I sat watching her plump frame move bit by bit by the blackboard a long ruler in her hand pointing at the board and occasionally if someone wasn't listening at the pupil she wore glasses and her grey hair was curly and permed as I looked away from her I saw Janice sitting near the front (a place I tried to avoid) gazing at the teacher I liked her we were friends and her grandmother with whom she lived (I had no idea what happened to her parents) allowed her out with me because she said I was trustworthy (to a degree) Janice wore a grey skirt and red cardigan and her hair was neatly brushed and tied with a red ribbon Benny are you listening to what I am saying? Mrs Murphy said I looked back at the teacher and nodded yes Miss I said looking at the board behind her where 2 lines of letters were scribed what have I been talking about? She asked eyeing me severely a code? I said and what is the code? She asked the class was silent all eyes on me I stared at the board the top letters are substituted by the lower letters to make a coded message I said she raised her eyebrows so you have been listening good she said and turned back to the class Janice was looking at me her blue eyes sparkling I smiled and she smiled then turned back to the teacher I was glad I remembered the code from the Eagle comic I read it saved my skin or hand from a smack that was why I liked it best at the back.
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Oct 30, 2016
Oct 30, 2016 at 4:50 AM UTC
BEST AT THE BACK 1956
Old Mrs Murphy made sure we were all sitting quietly in the classroom and she began talking about codes and puzzles I sat watching her plump frame move bit by bit by the blackboard a long ruler in her hand pointing at the board and occasionally if someone wasn't listening at the pupil she wore glasses and her grey hair was curly and permed as I looked away from her I saw Janice sitting near the front (a place I tried to avoid) gazing at the teacher I liked her we were friends and her grandmother with whom she lived (I had no idea what happened to her parents) allowed her out with me because she said I was trustworthy (to a degree) Janice wore a grey skirt and red cardigan and her hair was neatly brushed and tied with a red ribbon Benny are you listening to what I am saying? Mrs Murphy said I looked back at the teacher and nodded yes Miss I said looking at the board behind her where 2 lines of letters were scribed what have I been talking about? She asked eyeing me severely a code? I said and what is the code? She asked the class was silent all eyes on me I stared at the board the top letters are substituted by the lower letters to make a coded message I said she raised her eyebrows so you have been listening good she said and turned back to the class Janice was looking at me her blue eyes sparkling I smiled and she smiled then turned back to the teacher I was glad I remembered the code from the Eagle comic I read it saved my skin or hand from a smack that was why I liked it best at the back.
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In class Mr Finn talks about fractions and denominators and other stuff I don't care to know I see Janice sitting at her desk her fair hair ribboned and her small hand and fingers writing down what he is saying I scribble nothing my page has a few fractions and numbers and my pen drips blue ink on the page as I look at her we went to the bomb site off Meadow Row last evening (not too late or her gran will slap her one) and we talked of Jesus (or she was) and how He died and why none of the disciples came to his aid Mr Finn says Benny are you listening to what I am saying about fractions? Yes Sir I reply although I haven't I have not a clue what did I say about this fraction? He points to the blackboard I stare at the board I missed that bit I say he sighs and repeats (for me I guess) what he has just said Janice looks at me she has lovely blue eyes I smile she frowns Mr Finn talks of improper fractions and stuff I study what he's written and think school work is tough.
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Sep 23, 2016
Sep 23, 2016 at 2:09 PM UTC
TOUGH SCHOOL WORK 1956.
From Banks House balcony I finish the paper aeroplane Janice stands next to me will it fly? She asks me course it will from up here I tell her it's a jet sort of plane I hold it between my thin fingers and aim out at the sky we watch it zoom outwards then circle then zigzag downwards in quick flight it misses the milkman as he sits on his horse drawn wagon full of milk then skims down to the ground and crashes didn't fly very good Janice says looking down from the brick balcony I guess not top heavy I tell her it would have made a good paper hat she replies getting down from the wall of the brick balcony so we go to get it down the stairs try again Benny it might fly well if we try once again but as we descend it gets soaked by falling rain.
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Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 2:26 AM UTC
PAPER PLANE GAME 1956.
Janice folds the paper as Benny had shown her it becomes a small boat she could float in the bath in the flat if her gran allows her to float it in water for bathing she holds it between thumb and fingers put that down her gran says get undressed for your bath the water is just right (she had boiled the water in the old steel copper) Janice puts the paper made-up boat on the side of the bath and watches as she slow undresses come along her gran says don't day dream or I'll slap your backside 8 years old or older Janice takes off clothes and gets in the water can I float my paper made-up boat in the bath Janice says if you must her gran says steely eyed that Benny's contraption I suppose he showed me Janice says how to make the small boat as they both (Janice and Gran) watch it float.
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Jul 24, 2016
Jul 24, 2016 at 1:39 AM UTC
JANICE'S PAPER BOAT 1956.
Janice held the carrier bag with sandwiches and two bottles of pop and packets of crisps and walked with me up Meadow Row she was wearing a red flowered dress and white ankle socks and brown shoes I was in blue jeans and a white shirt where are we going? she said thought we'd go to Bedlam Park and have a picnic I said as the day's dry and warm and we're off from school I told Gran I was going out but didn't say where because I didn't know where Janice said didn't mind you going out with me then? I said no she don't mind me going out with you but she did say no mischief   Janice said we crossed the bomb site by Arch Street and she talked of her gran's sister and her husband and I looked at the traffic passing on the New Kent Road we walked on and went by the Trocadero cinema where my old man took me often to see cowboy or war films we went down the subway and along I began to sing a cowboy song and she said not to but I did and she blushed and pretended not to be with me once out the other end we walked along St George's Road I told her some old dear near us had given us her budgerigar called Billy as she couldn't cope anymore so now we've got it I said it don't talk though so I can't teach it rude words   just as well Janice said after you taught our canary to say naughty words I laughed not funny Benny Gran thought I taught him and nearly got a smacking sorry about that I said but they were only words rude words Janice said and Gran wasn't pleased we walked along past our school and into Bedlam Park where we found a spot of clean grass and sat and opened the bag and began to eat and drink our wares and talked and I ignored the other boys' stares.
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Jun 30, 2016
Jun 30, 2016 at 2:56 AM UTC
PICNIC WITH JANICE 1956.
Janice held the carrier bag with sandwiches and two bottles of pop and packets of crisps and walked with me up Meadow Row she was wearing a red flowered dress and white ankle socks and brown shoes I was in blue jeans and a white shirt where are we going? she said thought we'd go to Bedlam Park and have a picnic I said as the day's dry and warm and we're off from school I told Gran I was going out but didn't say where because I didn't know where Janice said didn't mind you going out with me then? I said no she don't mind me going out with you but she did say no mischief   Janice said we crossed the bomb site by Arch Street and she talked of her gran's sister and her husband and I looked at the traffic passing on the New Kent Road we walked on and went by the Trocadero cinema where my old man took me often to see cowboy or war films we went down the subway and along I began to sing a cowboy song and she said not to but I did and she blushed and pretended not to be with me once out the other end we walked along St George's Road I told her some old dear near us had given us her budgerigar called Billy as she couldn't cope anymore so now we've got it I said it don't talk though so I can't teach it rude words   just as well Janice said after you taught our canary to say naughty words I laughed not funny Benny Gran thought I taught him and nearly got a smacking sorry about that I said but they were only words rude words Janice said and Gran wasn't pleased we walked along past our school and into Bedlam Park where we found a spot of clean grass and sat and opened the bag and began to eat and drink our wares and talked and I ignored the other boys' stares.
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