#13
Flow of the fluids,
Across the valley,
Of the greenery hills,
Upside the town of grim.
Fresh of the peak,
Coming down as flowing,
Kissing the rocks,
And hardly any breaking.
Off I go,
To the town of grim,
Water fell as hard as a dream,
Of the beautiful pond,
I ought to reach.
May 9
May 9, 2026 at 1:17 PM UTC
Darken this verse,
with sour intentions.
I can’t crave
this, your imperfection.
And like ticks,
you’ll feed relentless,
not ever absolute.
Such weak examples,
disgraceful role models.
Decrepit, this soul
can find it.
The only truth.
I will die.
May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013 at 6:46 PM UTC
She isn’t perfect
She thinks she’s not good enough
She thinks she’s not pretty enough
She thinks she’ll never achieve her dreams
She thinks she’s hated
She needs to feel accepted
She’s a child
She feels she’s growing up too fast
She feels she’s not growing up fast enough
She feels too small to help
She feels too old to play.
She wonders if adulthood will change anything
She is a daughter
She knows she can’t live up to their expectations
She knows she’ll be relieved when they’re gone
She knows there will be no one to disappoint
She knows she shall regret her words
She doubts that she’s good enough.
She is a friend
She wants to live for them
She wants to watch them be happy because she’s not
She wants to be valued by them
She wants to love them more than herself
She knows they care too
She is a girl
She worries about going out alone
She worries she doesn’t do makeup right
She worries that she doesn’t dress well enough
She worries men watch her but also when they don’t
She wants to feel perfect
She is a student
She can’t get all the answers correct
She can’t survive without a good grade
She can’t believe in failure
She can’t cope with pressure
She prays to be smart enough.
She’s a 13 year old girl
She wonders when she will be okay
She wonders if she overreacts
She wonders can she be good enough
She wonders what will happen if she stops for a second
She has to make it past 14
Jan 30
Jan 30, 2026 at 4:50 PM UTC
I guess I'm just unlucky,
After all, I was born on March 13th, which was a Friday,
Nearly at 3:13 A.M..
Aren't I a cursed child?
Maybe that's why every relationship,
Whether platonic or faintly romantic,
Leaves me hurt and bruised and covered with contusions;
Sometimes I wish I were born a day before or after.
Friend group imploded, first love nearly killed me,
Friend-zoned by the one I hoped would love me too.
Surrounded by people who may care about me,
But I'm too battered and broken to know.
I've stabbed two knives in my eyes,
Feeling around for friends,
Hoping to avoid the vipers in disguises,
Marching toward a bitter end.
Aren't I unlucky?
Maybe I'd win the lottery.
Nov 17, 2025
Nov 17, 2025 at 10:30 PM UTC
_Gone were those days
when we laughed with the butterflies,
coloured the cotton candy clouds,
danced with the ocean tides,
built castles of sand,
whistled the wind's sound,
and held the sun in our hands.
Together._
I still paint your name across the sky,
Do you still catch the stars for me?
Jun 16, 2020
Jun 16, 2020 at 11:24 AM UTC
(lost 13% of my baby)
the littlest one turned three in May,
haven’t seen her in the flesh since March,
parents inform, all gone,
they’ll be disappearing
to another state,
all of July, gonzo.
I say
go forth safely, that’s great.
redefining social distancing.
measured not in feet,
or even by Sara B.’s
borrowed ‘many the miles,’
but in longer specificities:
maturities,
weeks and months,
parts of years,
parts of lives,
March, April,
May, June,
now July.
five months.
counted them on one hand,
many times,
at 3:00am
cause I could not believe
the summing of my subtraction
somehow disappeared,
from our calendars
these monthly ** markings,
months wiped clean permanently.
did a quick calculation.
we’ve lost 13% of her
entire life,
can’t be regained.
her first:
big girl bed,
playing first video game,
another birthday party,
candles extinguished by
a single big girl blowing,
dancing, dancing, and more,
driving her scooter in the apartment,
like only a mad woman can,
(stuffed animal riding the handlebars,)
blowing pretend Zooming belly kisses
on her button,
hiding neath the dining room table,
her laughing uproariously,
with never a “stop poppy.”
13%.
a specific amount,
a poem irretrievable,
a blood loss, that
can’t be transfused,
plasma irreplaceable,
containing antibodies
to a specific virus
Sorrow Unique-19
nah,
nothing
it got nothing
to do with that new forehead
furrow, that slow-suddenly appeared.
nah.
“just, these are the days...”^
Jun 12, 2020
Jun 12, 2020 at 1:21 PM UTC
Friday, the 13th.
-
Something bad is going to happen.
13 is an unlucky number.
But is it?
Can a number be unlucky?
Can something that is getting used in the world be unlucky?
13 is just a number.
A number that can mark a day, be something special for some persons.
But for me it is a lucky number.
No one can define what makes something lucky or unlucky.
Everybody decided for themselves what is supposed to be good for them.
Luck can not be predicted.
It just happens.
Luck is unlucky.
May 14, 2020
May 14, 2020 at 1:31 PM UTC
You are Friday the 13th
And I am the glass mirror
Shattering before you
Have we always been so unlucky?
I have this superstition
That once I love you
You’ll leave
And you’re walking away now
I’d be lying if I said I could do the same
Aug 17, 2019
Aug 17, 2019 at 9:21 PM UTC
your love was enough
to devastate my youth
your love is enough
for me to try again
your love is enough
May 16, 2019
May 16, 2019 at 12:52 PM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 13, the only true sentence i ever wrote._
I don't think you're the reason.
These lies made me feel just as bad as I said.
No, I don't do drugs,
No, I don't love you.
Yes, I need help.
No, I don't want help.
Yes, I want to be the one to speak her name as mine.
Yes, I know that that will never happen.
No, I don't know what is happening to me,
Neither do I know If I want to continue my life,
This is the end,
...
Mar 21, 2019
Mar 21, 2019 at 10:02 AM UTC
A tap on my shoulder,
And a wink,
From you,
When you saw me walking.
All I needed,
To make sure.
Now I know.
This isn't normal.
And even though I know.
I really know you're never there.
I still spend the breaks,
On the same place
Every day.
Still hoping,
You will pass me in the hallway
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 3:38 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 12, You._
I'm looking for ideas, can't be inspired by the world around me. My head is full of unwritten, unspeakable poetry only when I see you. My muse, almost. And I try to feel- and feel- and feel. But the scenery changes. You left. Take the blame for other's actions, and your own. And every time you leave my mind, somehow always inspire me. Wether it's your tears from reading my suicide note, or your laugh from, well, anything. And the "you" is so many people, so many ideas. Past, Present, Future. "You" is a broad understanding. It's 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, or even more people. All the same, Yet so different. After such a short time, everyone leaves, and returns to my mind again. In so many different ways. The slightest is necessary. A tap on the back, and a wink. A smile, or a few tears. A hug, or guilt. My own depression. It's true what you said a few minutes ago. All my poems are tagged with depression. I'm just too sad for you, I thought. But i said; because uhh well I wrote those things a long time ago. I hear a lot; "I'm worried about you" aswell. I asked if it was a good or a bad sign that i did, and you said: A BAD SIGN OF COURSE! I laughed. Because maybe this isn't understandable, but enjoyable. Maybe the feeling, and the realisation people cared was the reason. Because it almost makes me feel happy seeing people cry. I'm a psychopath. And sometimes I see myself. And I Can't explain in words how much I hate myself for doing this to you, but mostly, for not being sorry. Don't be like me.
Mar 21, 2019
Mar 21, 2019 at 3:15 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 11, Hostage._
Surprisingly.
It's really not like me to be so mean,
You're all I wanted.
Nature changes,
You left my mind.
And someone else entered it.
I don't know what feels true.
But this feels right,
So stay a sec.
Yea you feel right,
So stay a sec.
And let me crawl inside your veins.
I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain.
Hold and hidden,
By my own hostage.
Kiss me until I can't speak.
Let me listen to your voice.
And let me drown in your words.
Want to be the one,
To speak her name as mine.
Changing sentences into the same.
Hold and hidden,
By my own hostage.
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 7:04 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 10, The faded memories of a long remembered time._
These things are getting darker every time. So do I. Wishing This wouldn't be just the past, faded memories of times we want to remember. But I can't. These moments may have destroyed me, I still want to remember. Who I was, what drove me into this, and who I never want to become again. These memories are fading, my life is turning into a perfect one. I'm slowly suffocating. Why won't you let me be imperfect, And accept my past. We were young, And all we had was a city. But I don't mind. Will you please let me go back to the times love still existed here, The thoughts of getting out. You can let me go for once, And we'll still be okay.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 4:29 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 9, Drown in your words at midnight._
**** my window makes hella noise after last night's thunderstorm."
"So does that mean you can't sneak out at night anymore?"
"There's got to be another way, I'll fix it."
"Do you think you can do that?"
"If I want to."
"What do you want?"
"You. I want you. I want to love you. I want us to be together in a safe place. I want us to finally be okay. I want us to have a normal life, without hiding the drugs and alcohol, without hiding at all. I want to talk to you. I want us to realise. I want to write and paint and listen to music forever without the need to stop. I want to cry. I want to smile. I want to drown in your words at midnight.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 8:06 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 8, Broken mirror_
No one will ever make sure the clock stops ticking.
No one will ever keep a poem as one of their dearest possesions.
No one will ever leave the pages blank if they have words to fill it with.
No one will ever keep an extinguished cigarette in their package.
No one will ever stop being afraid of the dark, so we turn into the dark ourselves.
No one will ever keep an empty bottle of alcohol in their drawers.
No one will ever stop cutting themselves when they realise they shouldn't.
No one will ever keep the light on if they can choose to close their eyes.
No one will ever love without wondering why.
_No one will ever keep a broken mirror in their pockets._
Or would you?
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 3:57 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 7, The call of satan._
Are you okay? I can see you. I can see the tears in your eyes. I can see your face turning red. I can see the anger, I can see the need for help. Why do we hide it? Why do we push each other away? I love you, Can't you see? The silent call of satan takes my will to live away. Singing to the devil together, feeling Bohemian Rhapsody. The thoughts are leaking out of me right on the paper, so is my blood. The silent call of satan took my will to live away.
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 9:33 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 6, Lillie_
I might've mentioned it once or twice, this name, person, mind. This is probably one you can't relate to much. But maybe I can make you feel as if it does. I once heard this beautiful voice, that said my name. Well, it wasn't even my actual name. Just a nickname. You said: "Lillie, what you you think?" While you showed me one of your drawings. I was in love within a second. That beautiful voice, that one word never left my mind since. I wish it did though. It's killing me, Like i'm slowly suffocating. Lily's are pretty flowers. But are the dead ones too? Or can't you see that the flowers are turning into dust? Can't you see i'm struggling staying alive just like the flowers? Can't you see you never call me lillie anymore? Can't you see where i'm going?
I'm turning into dust.
You're the reason,
I'm doing this to myself.
So are you the reason,
I'm saving myself.
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 7:03 AM UTC
_If you're looking for a reason not to **** yourself tonight, this can be it._
Sometimes, we feel as if nothing matters.
We all do.
So i made a list of a few of my own reasons,
13 Reasons Why
I'm still alive.
And hopefully you'll change your mind.
Those moments you feel happy, and nothing but lucky.
And you wish nothing will ever change.
I will try my best.
_Reason 5, Books_
Books, Sounds a little like the first one, poetry. but they are different. Because poems show you two sides of the story a book shows you your own. Ever walked into a book store and wished you won the lottery so you could buy them all? Walking home from the libary with a bag full of books. The old smell of paper. Did you ever got taken into a book so far people had to scream before you realised you should stop reading? Do you still remember that first time a book made you cry? Ever found back stories you wrote when you were six years old? Remember that feeling.
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 7, 2019 at 6:27 AM UTC