#12steps
I stood there in the doorway,
The last line of defense.
The second it’s hinges release
Temptation overcomes me.
6 steps to the bathroom,
Where a hundred pills await.
I haven’t heard their call in years
Now they’re calling me by name.
4 steps to the office
Sweet relief each place I see.
Plastic protection pulled away...
But who protects the blades from me?
9 steps to my bedroom
Where dust covered glass rests.
Its bitter fluid floods my mind
And fills the hole inside my chest.
12 steps is what they say
And the nagging ache will wane,
But 12 steps in which direction?
Because they all will numb the pain.
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 9, 2019 at 12:40 AM UTC
Frosty Beer Bottle
Revisit Never The Norm
An Old Life Dies
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 2:07 PM UTC
Reached the bottom
Nowhere further to dig
Powerless
Had no answers
Something beyond "I"
The answers are to big
Believe
Releave this ******* of self
Reliquish control to life's gig
Turn it over
Past's dark doors opened
With the courage to face
What demons that may trig
Fearless inventory
In the presence of the triology
Purge your ***** laundry
Freeing yourself of burdens
Admitted wrongs
Come a point
Where these shackles
You no longer need
Ready to remove
At foot of bed
Bend down and plead
To that beyond the "I"
To remove all that makes you bleed
Humbly ask
Gather the names of those
Caught in your wake
Made a list
To them give back
What wasn't yours to take
Atone
With burden shed
Self removed
Feel the peace that you've never knew
Conscious contact
With gift in hand
Tale in tow
Go and share all you know
Carry the message
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 2:11 PM UTC
Hypocrisy to what you preach
Expecting standards of another
You, yourself can never reach
Guised as a victim in your speech
Painting yourself the saint
The all knowing prophet
When pointing fingers is all you teach
Your mirror is no more than a rose pane
In it your lacks shine as another man’s toll
Pleas for reason fall in vane
All collapsing at your need of control
Perched upon your pedestal
Passing judgement all the stay
At all costs emotionally vigil
For it’s always “Your Way”
Hypocrisy in what you teach
Learn to practice what you preach
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 7:28 PM UTC
I wore a smile
To cover the stain
Swam in the bottle
To ease the pain
Quick with a quip
Ready with a joke
My anguish never passing from my lip
Levity my cloak
Smiles became heavy
Strains bled thru
In the mirror a shell
Of a man I once knew
The light house has gone dark
No guide in this storm
Acts once unheard of
Now are the norm
Where is my savior
The light to lead my way
Where is my Angel
To lift this endless night
And resurrect the day
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 23, 2018 at 2:52 PM UTC
I am a loving product of light
I am the star shining bright
I am remarkable I am unique
I am the intention of all you can be
I am the rain that allows life to grow
I am the ocean that runs deep and keeps the earth spinning in the moonlit glow
I am the stars that illuminate the night
I am the intuition that gives second sight
I am the sun that will light up the day
I am the star constellation that will allow you to navigate your way
When the sun goes down and the light of day fades
I was created in the image of divine source light
I entered through the silver gate to live as man
Knowing at that time what was my plan
The path I had chosen was to be broken to awaken
Heading for the home I know I belong
Knowing I have to be brave and bold
Seeking out that gate of gold
It is written in the stars and this soul originated in Erra
Here to try and help bring the world together
Wether rain or hail,day or night
I forever am
Universal Loving Light
John R Pettigrew
31/10/2016
Owner of
JrpTarot
Fauldhouse Indoor Market
1 Blackfaulds Drive
Fauldhouse
West Lothian
Scotland
United Kingdom
EH47 9AT
Facebook.com/JrpTarot
Oct 31, 2016
Oct 31, 2016 at 6:49 AM UTC
On my knee's pulling out my hair
All that around me were nothing but misery and despair
Suicidal thoughts were running through my mind
My heart was shattered but every one around my seemed to remain bind
Blind to the fact I happily would take my on life
Crying myself to sleep almost every-night
Because I would just hide behind a smile and say I was fine
The misery turned to anger,the anger turned to rage
Emotionally it felt like I was trapped in a cage
Fear,paranoia and apathy
A far cry from the child that I was
The child was long gone and I felt nothing but loss
Grieving for things I had never even known
Abandoned all hope
And trudging a long a dark and lonely path
Yet I seen something a faint light in the distance so I struggled and I clawed and I pick myself up
But something has changed
I stopped looking outward looking for someone to blame
And I realised soon
The light wasn't far away
It come from within me
I had to become broken to become awoken
The path of enlightened was always within me
Had lessons I had to learn for me to fully see
The truth was never lost to me I know that now
Just had to look at my self and the world with a different perception
To fully appreciate to truly value the beauty of this lesson
The empty pit in my belly was no longer there
Spirit was always around me but this was now my time to be come aware
My soul had to become broken to gain deeper insight
To back in the love and glory of this empathetic light
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 3, 2016 at 2:54 PM UTC
My search
For a higher power
Eluded me;
Thank God
I found our
Poetry.
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 6, 2015 at 11:40 PM UTC