I’m a healer; not a feeler,
a traveler with loss of passion.
Pipe dreams are clear when day is gone,
then I spawn stories you can’t imagine.
I’m a wanderer; but I am not lost,
burn the human manufactures.
The sky is bleeding poor man’s gold,
drowning lunatic dream-catchers.
I’m a winter child; but my heart is fire,
it's a roaring black hole of ancient lullabies.
Follow the zebra through the midnight woods,
I saw glimpse of amnesia in its eyes.
through a window.
dance upon the stage,
a little honey bee.
Petals of paper
Like tiny footprints
to lead the way.
Lead a zebra,
lead a honey bee,
to a delicate daisy flower
where they might sit
how peculiar it is
that a honey bee
just might fall
in love with a zebra.
How am I aware?
When did I become aware?
What is aware?
Does a lion know they are a lion?
What do they call themselves?
Does the Zebra know it is only a Zebra?
Does it know it's cause of death is a Lion round the neck?
As it bleeds does it remember it's family?
Does the Lion remember its first kill?
Do the buzzards have an opinion on the situation?
As they argue over dinner do they also debate?
The birds squak " if humans are aware, why aren't they aware of us?"
The giraffes chime in " why do they pretend our home is a wasteland?"
The monkeys holler "humans build concrete caves to hide from awareness"
The hyenas laugh " what stupid animals!"
The leopard whispers "aren't we all?"
being the indecisive teenage boy I am,
I'm still unsure whether it is wise to call you...
but being the overthinker I am,
I'm aware of a million and one reasons why I shouldn't,
I've thought up hypothetical situations where things could go dismally wrong.
being the hopeless romantic I am,
I've also thought up the perfect conversation:
You: Hello, who's this?
Me: Oh, thank goodness, it's me, that guy from the party. I just wanted to see if you were dead yet, but by the sound of that beautiful voice, I'm sure you aren't.
You: Awww, thanks. Hi, how are you?
Me: No, how are you? I've been waiting three days for you to say good morning back...
You: Aww, reallyy? I'm sorry, good morning (with a soft giggle). I'm good...[or you could scare me with: thanks to your call, I'm feeling good]
I'm too lazy to think further...
but it ends with you saying that you'll meet up with me for lunch in a few days, me finally being man enough to call you "zebra" (and you adoring it, even though it's such a stupid nickname) - and also, with you confessing your feelings for me while my reply is short, simple and vague:
Yeah, you'd be so flustered by my one-word reply, that you spend the whole night thinking about the mixed signals I'm sending you and fall asleep only to dream of me.
It seems foolproof to me,
the problem is,
what happens if you have a boyfriend...
or you're hurt and you're in hospital,
or your mom picks up the phone -
And those are a few of the stupid reasons that I'm afraid of dialing your number...
But I'm still thinking of you, I wish there was some way you could know how much you're killing me by not talking to me.
She stirs too many conflicting and incomprehensible emotions within me, she awakens too many things for my brain to spend an eternity pondering...
She's too much for my brain to decipher.
Yet she fuels the pumping of my heart.
I'm a cruel person,
I know because I hurt people -
and I act cold-blooded about it.
So, if I'm cruel,
then you're kind...because opposites attract,
if you're kind,
then how are you hurting me?
The weakest part of me too:
Are you fucking doing this to me?
one day you like me,
next you don't,
while I stay up at night trying to reach a conclusion from your ever-changing emotions,
to no avail,
I get more pissed off,
Will you stop it already?
can you be clear?
this is beyond cruel,
I don't do this to anyone,
I make my feelings obvious -
or I hide and lock them away...
But you go from I really really like you
to, you're so boring.
From, I'm totally obsessed to,
will you stop burdening me already...
I don't know what to do,
how to react,
how to rectify this situation,
I don't even know if you're worth it anymore -
every time you say hi,
my heart tells me that this lady playing with me is somebody I must chase,
it screams, "I must have her!!!"
While my brain sits back and watches from afar, thinking,"Here we go again..."
is my heart fucked up? Am I the one who's messed up...
crazy... for falling for you?