Laying in bed
The heater set to 65
Cat on my lap and the door cracked open
Browsing online
Watching ****** youtube videos
on r/maliciouscompliance
Things could be worse
Things could be so much worse

Crying crying
Knees fall down
I'm on the ground

Trying to pick up my pieces
Broken everywhere
I'm so scared

Drunk drunk
Emotions flaring
I can't breathe

I need comfort please
Don't leave me alone
Not this time

Laughing laughing
I'm falling into you
You stand away

I'm so lost
Everything hurts
Where do I go

Fix me
Somebody
Please
Tell me
How I keep going
Without your help
I'm nothing
I'll fall into trouble
And think it's love
Screaming and twisting
But it's warm
And I feel so cold
I can't leave
The cold scares me
I only liked it before
Because you were there
Now I'm alone
And scared

i’m one month clean.

soon to be ruined because it’s unhealthy and i’m all about slowing killing myself.  


brb. . .

going to throw up . . .

On that particular sunny day
I looked in the mirror
and saw a rainy day
embracing the silver lining
behind me stood the love
I had saved up for
touching my hair
and gently stroking the grey

there was a long time
that i hated both of you
i couldn’t understand how to love
despite all you gave me
i was lost in the vines, all twisted up inside
i saw the cruelty in his eyes
and hated the way it reflected back in mine
i heard the desperation in her screams
and raised mine louder
there was anger settled inside me
like some dark recipe brewing in my bones
1. set low to boil
2. let it explode

I raise a glass to all the boys that broke my heart
To all their words that tore me apart
To all the ones I knew were wrong from the very start
But I still believed we could work it out
If only..if only we took a different route
If I had said this and not that
If only you were a swan and not a rat.
If only If only,
But it wasn't like that
Wish I knew the remedy to you
I wish I could create a time booth
Then I would say run run away
Go before they, stray you, heart
I was the one to change your heart
If only you didn't break that fragile thing apart
I raise my glass, for you, my dearest ones