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rgz Jul 2019
Maybe I should be blunt
as a blood-stained club

but I've never been so strong,
I doubt I could lift it up

let alone swing it
at least,
not hard enough

Maybe I should write a note
a sonnet, or a song

show you the view from my boat,
have the sea sing along

still, I doubt the sea would,
she sees I'm no prince,
my words aren't wet enough

Maybe I should painstakingly, purposefully and adamantly drown
each torpid, tactless, lurid verse, each vile, venomous, lustful line

in a soup of sumptuous, superfluous superlatives
designed to move you as intervention from divine

bleed an inky parade of adoration
from vein, to pen, to page.
I could never shed enough.
The promise of maybe is one I hold dear
Why must life be this way
Not everything turns out okay
We lose to the ever changing way of life
Our soul is hit by so much strife
Friendships once formed break
And that ruptures our world like an earthquake
Nothing we say or do will change it
We'll just have to deal with that hit
I personally, turn bitter
These feelings usually are targeted towards a "her"
It's the women that I've met that negatively affected me
Well not all the women, not entirely.
Just the ones that had a side of them I didn't know about
A side that just makes me want to scream and shout.
If time travel were possible I'd erase them from my past
They'd be gone like an epic blast
That's just not possible though
I have to deal with that soul shattering blow
To think that everyone thinks you're an amazing person worth befriending
Then realizing it was like a friendship fling
There one second then just completely not
Sadly, I've felt that a lot.
And naturally, that feeling of sadness turns to anger
Anger that, as I said before, is targeted at a "her"
Why is it the women that hurt me so?
Just forgive them and let go?
***** that! When I get the chance I'll make them regret their choice to unfriend me
They WILL know how much I suffered internally
I realize that I am a pretty messed up individual wishing that on her
But all my experiences dealing with women like her built up this anger.
I know that this one doesn't follow the happy/ not negative direction I've been heading in but I would love some feedback on this one.

— The End —