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If you've got issues, if you've got baggage:
disadvantaged, disabled, disturbed, damaged.
If you've got special needs, not just sexually...
If you wear bottletop specs, come see me.

I'm perfectly pleasant predator, how do?
Sexpest! But quite a nice bloke too.
I'd hold you close like a creepy volunteer,
tho' my CRB check returned w/ a smear!

If you've got a wooden eye or a glass leg,
check out my mobno & my measurements
carved into the local parkbench.
Undateable, shake your chaperone for normo ***!

The psyche of a child, the physique of a woman
- c'mon, Judge, w'unt you find that confusin'?

— The End —