Uncertainty -
Its weighty sound belies its amorphous character.
It creeps up, breaks in and steals your peace of mind,
Like a stealthy burglar.

It laughs at your fruitless attempts to predict the future.
It knows you can only guess,
Only hope,
That what lies ahead
Is brighter than what came before.

Uncertainty;
A nagging feeling in the pit of your belly
eating away at any remaining sanity
as you question everything constantly.

It is sweaty palms and legs that are shaky
short breaths from a chest closed tightly
as you live calamity after calamity.

It is fear of the unknown possibilities
that plague each day with negativity
as it eternally resides in me entirely;
uncertainty.

My mind is a jungle,
Dense thought trees
Blocking rays of clarity;
Ruminations intertwined,
Like twisted vines.

I sure miss you here,
(In the hope that
you miss me too)
And if you don't,
I don't know
where this narrow path
through dense woods
will take me at the end.
No way, I could go back
to the begining when
my hope is there in the
journey's end.

Presumptions, we think
would have no thorns to fear,
but cause  vein jumps
again and again that may prove
the grapes were sore after all.

Every wish prompting one
to hit the road, often with
no rhyme or reason, would
have underlying conditions,
though unseen from where one starts.
Why, are we afraid to speak openly
how the journey would end
even when we set out so excited?

On your wall beyond the reach
of  my eager eyes are sketches
still incomplete;
that may break or make me.
And what it does to you then
is an idea vague in my imagination.

There was a page
Full of words
That said everything
That said nothing

My thoughts were unclear
My writing was cloudy
It made no sense
But so much
I understood

That poem was a failure
Ironically, it spoke of failure.
I tried to force ink onto paper
And in return received a
Mess of a masterpiece
A reflection of who I am

I had abandoned my work
It screams to be finished.
So finally
I come out of my shell
I try to undo knots
I couldn't untangle before

Because in a few days time
I will have answers
To questions I've always asked
And I'm not sure I am ready
But I am standing now
Or at least,
I will soon.

Soon,
I will stand tall
I will be stepping...
But where will my feet land?

It's 2:35 am,
I'm surrounded by close family
In a beautiful place,  close to the beach
And I'm full of sorrow, bitterness,
Heavy heart and broken promises.

I can't sleep.
So much I wanna do,
So much I wanna be.

So much opportunities,
So little money, so little luck.
My ambition has got to hold on.

I close my eyes
And the endless of chances start to narrow,
Swallowing me whole, breaking my bones.

I can't sleep.
So much I wanna do,
So much I wanna be.