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JA Perkins Dec 2024
Who would know the struggle?
The apocalyptic rubble
So sick I'm seeing double
and I haven't had a drink.

Jarred by nightly terror
Scarred by trial and error
Acting on impulse because
I'm too afraid to think.
I'm asking
Kaitlyn Johnson Dec 2024
I used to cry at the thought of the hurt you put her through.
Now, I am abhorrent to the thought of putting her through that again.
I now mourn the loss of the pain; the death of the passion.
No matter how visceral the feeling or how thick the air became;
she begged the warmth in her throat to withdraw to her stomach.
The fire laid in wait there, already crackling.
No amount of teardrops could fizzle the burning desire to be understood harder…
or deeper…
or despite.

I recognize exactly where she had been; so utterly gone with only my witness account of where she had been.
Since the dust has settled all that remains is a vast and empty dwelling littered with her sheddings.

The pain had grown inside her, morphing and contorting her familiarity into something new.
Something seemingly broken.
Tye Dec 2024
Weeks spent battling inside,
Fumbling with words,
Looking for the right tone,
So you knew that you hurt
My soul, and the soul
Doesn’t recover so easily.

We sat down on the loveseat,
Pressed into the armrests,
And I found the right time
To speak my truth.
You listened with ears
On edge, ready to argue,
Never conceding an inch
So you could win.
And you won
Because you know
I won’t fight.

You walked away
with shoulders held high,
And a crooked smile on your face,
While I’m left alone to
Bottle everything up,
So it never comes out again.
Christy Dec 2024
I grew up the perfect child.
Seen but never heard.
Painfully aware of the mood in the room
And grew up way too soon.
Suppressed any hint of emotion
To make life easier for them.
And played the part of the perfect child
Receiving the bare minimum.
Christy Dec 2024
What are you doing on Christmas Day?

Oh, having a quiet one at home. My family lives too far away and it’s nice to be alone.

Oh not me, I love a fuss! The more the merrier, I say. It’s really a must to be surrounded by love on a happy Christmas Day.

Suppose you could see, if you’d grown up like me, you’d better understand. My family gatherings were more like a slathering of trauma and animosity.

Maybe one day it won’t be this way, I look forward to some change. I’m hopeful to break the generational hate that’s been deadlocked age after age.

But until then, I can only depend on the peaceful tradition I’ve made. Eating mince pies by the flickering light of my mobile phone screen.
Mxxie Dec 2024
Strings dig into my wrists,
Carving control into fragile flesh
Moving me to their will.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I despise it.

"Be this," she demands,
"Do that," he whispers,
Their voices tangle in the threads,
Pulling tighter, cutting deeper,
Moving me to their will.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I loathe it

Moving my lips
The sighs
The whispers
The mutters
It isn't me.

Tugging my wrists
The twist
The tether
The weight
It isn’t me.

Bending my knees
The creak
The lurch
The stumble
It isn’t me.

Turning my head
The tilt
The ****
The blank stare
It isn’t me.

Carving my chest
The hollow
The knots
The splinters
It isn’t me.

Tearing my legs
The sway
The drag
The fall
It isn’t me.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I hate it.

I'm just a hollow puppet.
Bound by twisted strings.

Nothing more
Nothing less.

The Liquitex that smudges my face
It draws new smiles,
It spills new tears,
Blurring the lines of who I was.

Each brushstroke rewrites my skin,
A hollowed mask of painted lies,
Cracks forming where the truth once lived.

It stains my cheeks in hues I don’t choose,
Bright reds that scream,
Deep blues that ache,
Colors bleeding into someone else’s story.

The varnish sets,
Am I trapped beneath it?
Just a mere doll of their design?

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I despise it.

And the fingers that type these words?
The letters
The sentences
The poem

It doesn't feel real.

A hollow shell of bone and sinew,
Moving without meaning,
Guided by unseen hands.

That's all I am.

I don't feel.
I don't love.
I don't dream.
I don't care.
I don't exist.

I bend.
I spin.
I dance.

I loathe it.
AllyRose Dec 2024
A crippling heaviness
Enters the room
I’m trembling
I break out in a cold sweat
The dolls on the stand
Are securely locked in their case
Their sad eyes watch as he
Inches closure and silent screams
Fill the space.

He whispers violent things
And spits in my face.
I succumb to his lingering words
As I forget how to breathe
I lost my voice
It know belongs to him.
AllyRose Dec 2024
These earthquakes come and go
Awakening the anger within
I drank the poison from the fire of your lies
It burnt, but I kept drinking
Because it's all I've ever known.

Your color turned gray
I struggle to the surface
With an anchor the size of my guilt
Pulling me under the entire way up
So full of life we once were.
When your heart was in the right place
Or so you made me believe.

Sister and mother despair
Building castles in Spain
They take the threshold
May their glory reign
They disappear for awhile
strolling down memory lane
And return only with
Their decaying growing pains
One gave birth to the fire
The other the Descendant of flames.
AllyRose Dec 2024
I'm a force to be reckoned with
So I don't recommend double crossing me
If you come across me
I’ve been known as the criminal in town
****** for being different and causing mayhem

It is not my desire to watch the world burn
And I’ve tried putting out this fire within me
So I don’t set fire to the world around me
But I don't know how much longer
I can hold it in before my covers blown

The innocents cannot be unpunished
So why are they blamed and
Imprisoned for other people’s actions
There are so many stories to be told
So many victims waiting for the moment
To speak their truth and let the real villains be known
AllyRose Dec 2024
My soul is a lacuna
In these moments of silence
There’s an empty void.
In this river of regret
It’s Hollow dark and cold.

Nothing left but bitter emptiness
I’ll still long for your touch
To hear the sound of your voice
And I don’t want to forget
Or Learn to live with the pain

These demons are relentless
And driving me insane
But If you want the leave
Don’t let me stand in your way

But Please don’t call me a fool
If I ask you stay
Let them think what they want
I don’t care what what they say

I’ll be lost and scared
In the midnight rain
If you go away
You may as well take the sun away
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