My therapist says I'm doing really well and when she says it, she makes eye contact and her posture is relaxed and I didn't even mention her tone yet but think of your mother when you've been heartbroken for the first time if you're the kind that has been heartbroken and if your mother is a soft one but mine is and I am and she was like that. Her tone was that of my mother when I was heartbroken for the first time.
I sat on that couch, Sipping tea that made me gag, too sweet, Feeling the the small blade in my back pocket, Weighing me down, pulling me in, And I cried.
"You're not depressed" How would you know how I feel? "Just a hormone imbalance" You're not a doctor... I've only said a sentence. I only said Four Words I Think I'm Depressed
You don't know the numbness drawing me in You don't know how I can't feel my wrists You don't know I'm almost constantly nauseous You don't know how I wake up in the middle of the night crying You don't know how I shake uncontrollably in fear when I think You don't know how I can't look in the mirror without hating what I see You don't know how I scream into my pillow, scared of myself and terrified of everything else
You just don't know.
How can you?
I went to a therapist I've seen since I was in 8th grade because of my homework, but I honest with her for the first time