Her pale flesh trickling rainy vibrations ,
like watching fingers ran along a piano
   In the lense of an X-ray.

Goosebumps pricked and curling,
Her eyes were like self-contained half-moons upon half-moons builded on the budded rose of her lips
That split in a pink smile. The smile you have at that age, fauxly

assured and posing confidence.

Her face is ascribed to God over her mother, her father
  or me.
Her faith is beatless and with a kiss soft as a wrist-binded ribbon,

She said she stores all her faith into me.

A gusto glee that's marinated in the foggy dreams of
Too many days to count, or to care about anymore.

I loved her, and for the first time I believed someone when they said they loved me back.

I could hardly wait to sleep that night with her in my arms
for the very first time.

three flowers in my vase
They all stand there in their place
One is white
One is red
And the last one is blue
When the sun touch my flowers
I see them dance
It’s from the sun they get their powers
But today I notice there’s a change
My blue flower seems sad
It has bent it’s back
The red one appears to be mad
it’s ready to attack
And my white flower is gone
I lost it yesterday by mistake
In the moment I lost it i thought it was fun
Oh dear lord what have I done


Two flowers in my vase
They both stand there in their place
One is red
And one is blue
When the sun touches my flowers
I see them dance
It’s from the sun they get their powers
But today I notice there’s a change
My blue flower has bloomed
Now it’s even more blue
My red flower is doomed
It’s color is gone, I swear it’s true
It is dead
It didn’t get a chance to live
I never had it with me in bed
Well they say love isn’t fun
But oh lord what have I done


One flower in my vase
It stands in it's place
One is blue
The sun can’t touch my flower
It’s the last one I’ve got
Without the two others it has all the power
This feeling isn’t what I thought
The blue flower is me
And I am the blue flower
But I let nobody see
Up I have build a tower
It has no door, window nor Stairs
I will never let you in
You killed my flowers
Now I’m blue

Perhaps one day these words I write,
will somehow make you see the light,
until that day,
here I shall lay,
and fix your broken heart.

I lay here alone and i recall those words you said,
how you told me all you longed for was to lie in my bed,
how you wished to feel my touch,
as i stroke your stubble grown a little too much.
How you'd call me late and declare you're cold,
say the only possible cure was to be in my hold.
I wonder if you still lay alone,
in this new place not all that far from home,
the thought so awful has now fled
I hate myself for letting such ideas inside my head
you are mine and I am yours, a trust neither should betray,
though difficult without a word it is to keep evil thoughts at bay.
But I shall fight until our wedding day.

we’re so destined to live,
cause there’s always an end—

but no again.

Some days all meaning disappears
I sit quiet in my wooden chair
Wallowing in existential fear
And wondering why I even care

Drive my mechanical pencil lead
Into the soft tip of my *******
Laughing at how I used to think ahead
How I still dream of being a singer

That little ***** of pain
Kind of brings me back to life
It leaves a blood spot stain
On the blade of my kitchen knife

When you sew my eyes and my mouth shut
And tie both my hands behind my back
Then I can't move but I can't cut
And you wonder why I resort to crack

Keep wasting all my time
Doing things I don't like
'Cause later you'll find
You need it for your life

Never mind, never mind
I'll just wait here and die
I know you're kind, so kind
And would never ever lie

Things get pretty dark for me
But I always seem to make it out
Just take my time don't hurry
Remember it's so normal to worry

But do I really wanna be like
All the other popular kids
I don't care if they call me a ****
It's girls I really wanna kiss

So when I'm down
And really just wanna die
Won't let myself drown
I will force myself to try
And be alright
I'll be alright
Make me alright
I wanna be alright

I'll just keep stabbing my finger
With the end of my precious pencil
I'll forget being a singer
And study ******* credentials
And be alright
I'll be alright
Make me alright
I wanna be alright

Growth.
Going, you know that you have gone.
Walking clockwise around yourself
I’ve learned that I know nothing
Other than that sometimes you don’t need to know

You need to know calculus and how to sing in 2 different languages
You need to know how to dress business casual and shake hands and beam people with your smile

But when do we learn how to comfort ourselves
Comfort found without the BPA of anything above a 0.8
Who taught us that hearts beating fast will become familiar.
Warm, even

The only way you knew how to dance
Was to sway your hips haphazardly
Off beat Back and forth Side to side
to hazy savage glaringly ***** music
I would sit in the passenger seat and watch
With the car door ajar and the
Seatbelt light blinking
The only way I knew how to dance was to close my eyes and visualize the
Gospel of the orange and pink and cloud paint splatters
And so we were in perfect synchronization
Like symphonic harmony
My eyes closed but yours wide wide open
Not a moment of hesitation between one second of action to the next
Except when it came to opening my eyes
I would watch you succumb to your assimilated actions
And we would welcome
The droplets of a newborn rain storm attaching to our clothed backs and bare shoulders
Laden across a field
We were not allowed to be on this field they had football practice
but we were anyways
The air was of a room temperature and caressed our fingertips
How did we manage to articulate to each other
What it feels like to be enveloped
in reality’s arms
Your hair was almost the
Color of mine but your skin was usually a lot
Paler
But in the summer it would turn bronze
When you held up your hand and against
The cotton candy sky you looked like
A shiny brass statue of a Greek god
We thought we were Zeus and Hera but
Were Sisyphus and Merope
Bare legs meant mosquito bites but
They drew satirical constellations across our calves
Like a sadist reminder of irony
We existed in perfect destruction because
The birds had left but
The moon had stayed
I felt my ragged fingernails frighteningly grasping at
The remnants of a pathetic twilight
I don’t think I can ever look you in the eye again
And then I blinked just once and
The sky had turned indigo and the chill of cicadas and summer night set in
And I was intrinsically alone with no ***** music and swaying hips and summertime lies
Deceit had evaded me but it surrendered to you
And with your presence left my respect
This celestial ship will carry our mundane bodies back to shore
But I tangoed for one
And put on my seatbelt and closed the car door