Out on the road in the middle of the night,
I made my way with no one in sight.

Hugging all the tight corners and vrooming on the straights,
Burning tyre rubber at alarming rates.

Little did I know at that hour along the next turn,
There'd be another person.

With the wind in her hair and one of the most lovely face,
She rode her little pink vespa with amazing grace.

I happened to have crossed paths with her in a traffic rule breaking fashion,
A move I made with deadly precision.

Instantly she uttered that lovely swear word with a sweet loud tone,
"*******" she said, raising her ******* alone.

Wrong I was and would've apologized if I could stop,
But in a hurry I was and a high speed it all to top.

Late that night, those stream of events ran through my head,
I pondered on it as I lay in bed.

Swear words! Instantly blurted in the spur of the moment,
Yet originating from the heart's deepest cavity and vent.

Pure to the core,
No hidden meaning they store.

Swear words may have been considered in appropriate and shunned in the world,
Yet they convey what a person feels most appropriately when they are hurled.

I send text messages like it's an art form. Subtle, curious glances at a blinking light that comes not nearly enough, quick replies like fluid in my fingers. I am the new generation. I am the electronic daughter of a turntable and a symphony, the quiet-on-the-outside-until-someone-calls-my-name burst of energy who comes in like a thunderstorm and leaves like a gust of wind. I love like a wildfire, dance across life like a firefly, and drown myself in the quick distractions of a busy, lights-flashing-so-bright-it-hurts world.

I grab, reaching for bonds that aren't there, pull him underwater with me and clash with him like two hydrogen atoms, then burst apart in a flash of light. Love for me is an atom bomb. Love is an explosion. Love is quick encounters, kisses in the dark, passion in bright bursts that come and go as fast as lightning strikes the earth.

And, gods, I want him.

I cry to love him, sleep fitfully to think of him, and cannot desire for more than to run from him. I want to reach out, reach forward, reach into him, grab for something, nothing, anything that can promise me he will or won't lead to another broken promise.

Lips touching, pulling me down, leaving me screaming out for air because my air not oxygen, it's nothing but him and the scent of him and the feeling of his arms wrapped around me and

I

can't

breathe

My eyes keep flickering to the green light. I groan, and type another message.

I've got it so bad for this boy

I understand. Have you talked to him about it?

no way,,,, im a hot mess. he's too much for me, seriously

Young love.

seriously man don't do that I'm so frustratingly dependent rn

You love him. 

do not

Do so.

I throw the phone down, pull a stuffed animal towards me, grumble to myself, and look for the flickering light. Nothing. No response. I press my palm to my forehead and return to music, but it isn't enough.

You love him.

do not

Like a symphony of lights and sounds knows how to love. She doesn't, I don't, not really, but I know how to reach, how to desire, how to drown myself with the semblence of a feeling. I wish I knew how to love, and I wouldn't mind if he taught me, but can I love now? After I loved that once and it was ripped from me? I don't know how. I don't remember.

he ****** me up, dude, i don't even know if this is love or if i'm trying to replace the feeling i had with you-know-who with someone else

I don't think so. He tried to ground you, and I don't think you really want to replace that

it's like risking true love for the safe option

"true love" What

I'm just saying... that's how i was with him really. it was love once but it distorted into more of a safety net

I guess. But you can love someone again, honey. You just have to figure out how

yeah i do. somehow. god help me

You can do it

unsent: maybe. or maybe im hopeless

It's easy to dream when you're lost. Hope is a powerful thing. They say I'm part of a generation lost in the glamour, but are we? Are we lost in the glamour, or are we losing ourselves in the flashing lights to avoid the reality of life, that stuff *****?

Maybe we'll figure out how to love again, or maybe they're right. Maybe I got lost in the glamour.

Maybe the wildfire will never go out, the wind will never stop, and the lights will keep flashing.

Maybe I'm hopeless.

Lately I've felt held back by a lot of constraints.
Burdens on my mind that I can't contain.
I want to express myself through words but it's getting difficult.
Because, frankly, **** rhyming, and **** watching my language.
**** all this depression and being hypocritical.
**** those lines I just wrote and **** how I feel about this poem.
**** how I came into this wanting to be reflective and negative.
**** it, in the words of my mother, "**** it all".
Just try to have a good time with your life before it's all gone.
It can be pretty ******* hard, but it's worth it.
Whenever life confronts you with obstructions, get the **** over it.
It's YOUR life, YOUR decisions, and YOUR results.
When you waste time on the things that don't matter, you've wasted too much.
So the next time something is irking you that doesn't really matter,
or you're not feeling well enough to  be positive,
do me a favor and think to yourself "**** it".
This is all we've got.
Don't waste it.
**** the small things, be happy.

Honey, I don't even ******* know.
What the hell is a crush supposed to be anyway?
  
Sweet warmth filling up my soul?
A skipped heartbeat with a mere touch to the shoulders?
Afraid to look too long in fear of falling into fascination with the way  their eyelids touch their cheek?

I don't even know.
I don't want to know.

I'm the worst sort of lover.
I don't even like people.
I mean, I love people, but not PEOPLE.

Besides, why would anyone like me back?

Miss Congeniality, not Miss Sexuality
I don't- don't know how to- how to-
****.
I can ******* swear just fine, but I can't even say-

See? What's there to like?

I don't know what love feels like.
Does everyone just...know?

I'm not pretty.

It's not that I don't know what to say.
I just don't know if I believe it

Deserve it.
(Hypocrite).


"No, not right now." (Smile, **** it)


Honey, I don't crush.
I fall.