this former guttersnipe doth harbor no ill will
while lain in the gutter of this conventional ville
where some insomniacs take nigh quill
your plea 4 money, but a confession
   that my life like a bitter pill
shape n size like n opal battling uphill

monetary resources nil
yet surges of imaginative days with hew fill
me jet throw toll aqua lung gill
lug gin islands n tandem with my mind till
death dew eye part, but social security disability
   just barely amp pull - this no pitiful poetic swill.

at this juncture
   my self confidence fuels me with greater skill
2 take risks, such as reach out n smooth over
   ruffled n ridged feathers emanating
   from sputter ring unthinkingly sans my virtual quill
i.e. emails n such prods awareness
   2 maximize opportunities that could fill

a void - specifically a marriage bereft of compatibility -
   n figuratively i jumped in2 this drama OUT of desperation
   years ago when hot n ***** pangs would not chill
plus my then living mother n now octogenarian
   widower father raged against me, their sole
   soul less son, who daily they did flip their grill.

Sum this all up: mind
zeroing in on that you
can't be zeroed out.

The anger within
can only begin
with the fear
of going out
of ones
way.
One wants it all,
choose misery over
making up for,
and apologies refused
is how loved ones
ruin their
day.
Anger is like an infant
in our frontal lobe
being attended and
controlled.
Anger has its way
of finding to be
stashed when we become
old.
Fear is inside and
anger lets its way out.
Flies like the
bees stinging when
they are not what
it is all
about.