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No-one's hanged with cable of wireless mouse.
A butterknife slashes only butter.
Suicide's no go in this stupid house!

It's harder on the hop than you might guess
to improvise serviceable halter.
No-one's hanged with cable of wireless mouse.

Selfharmadillo wrists left for glabrous,
my doldrums armoured by pencil sharpener.
Suicide's no go in this stupid house!

Tatty towelling gown cord my misplaced noose
- what swings free ain't from beam or banister!
No-one's hanged with cable of wireless mouse.

A soak with the toaster would be no use;
it'd just trip the mains. And I've a shower.
Suicide's no go in this stupid house!

Rennies in cabinet won't cook my goose.
Electric oven will egnis my riah.
No-one's hanged with cable of wireless mouse.
Suicide's no go in this stupid house!

— The End —