I’m afraid of three things:
1 Being hurt again
2 It being different and not knowing how to act because I’m use to pain
3 What it will take not to feel this way
I want to use my past as an excuse for the now, to explain why I am this way, so others can sympathize with me. Then again, I don’t even want to speak of it or let others know. My heart squeezes and my lungs fists whenever I dare to utter an excuse that does no justice. I want to keep it a ***** little secret but scream it out at the unfortunate soul in the line of fire. It’s better to just to say it’s not you it’s me because it really is just me.
I swear I’m not an attention seeking person, there are just times where I need it and times that I want it. Times where I need to be reminded I’m a person worthy of attention and times where my attention is worthy of capturing. I need a reminder once in a while because all these why’s I’ve acquired throughout my life makes me forget.
Sometimes I feel like the barbwire's around my heart are sharper than a roses thorn and the scars that affiliate my bones are too fragile to hold.
— The End —