I sat there next to you
in a cold room
filled with the secret battles
of two lovers
caught in the middle
of failed expectations
and disappointment.

No one knew me
the way that your fingers drew me
when the tips of your nails
mapped out the curves
of my flesh.

No one knew you
the way that my hands knew;
holding your broken soul
collecting the pieces
and doing the science;
molding them with metal and irons
so that when they were reassembled
you'd be stronger than ever
and never break again.

Yet here we are,
perfect strangers
that desire no more
than to feel something
worth feeling...

or to simply just not feel alone.

We are all just strangers
with familiar faces
and unique souls

I wanna die before I'm old.
I wanna chop off all my hair and dye it pink.
I wanna live in LA and go to art school.
I want the American dream that no one sees.
I wanna do dumb things with people I just met.
I wanna be a musician and play at bars with my band.
I wanna go to the beach at midnight and dance.
I wanna live while I can.
I wanna make it through the night.

Dad I just learned to say your name ain’t you proud why did you walk out the door again
Dad I’ve learned so much already I’m more than 3ft tall now, I like playing outside climbing trees, maybe you’ll call now?
Dad I know you stopped by for my birthday but you missed Christmas, did Santa have me on the naughty list cause it was just you and some cool toys on my Christmas wish list
Dad I can’t believe I’m starting high school and your finally in my life to stay now
Dad I’m so glad I get to live with you now things were too hostile between mum and stepdad I’m thankfully that you’re here now
.....
.....
Dad I’m not a kid anymore. My whole life I just wanted to know who you are
Dad it’s been 13 years since I walked out that door
I hear you still drink and get into bar fights
And the harder drugs **** that was a surprise even to me I thought having a **** and beer was more of your thing
But I don’t know you and I know you and I know of you
What do you say to the man that claims he’s your fam when he missed the entire first chapter and ****** up the next
You say stay safe and take care
The one thing I learned from you is that life is not fair

sitting by a window
staring out the smudged pane
past the polychromatic crowds
bent, huddled, faceless in the rain

a smeared image swirling by
modern art painting not yet dry

wishing to nod off
tired to the bone
the rattle and rumble beneath
the stop and the start
keep my weary eyelids apart

the odors of crowded humanity
fill my nostrils,
make them burn
alcohol, sweat, stale cigarette smoke
on clothes that are old and worn

garlic, deep fryer grease
pastrami and cheese in a sack
blood dried on the apron
slung over a butcher's back

a cacophony of noises
surge inside the car
papers rattle, fingers tap
on electronics or on steel bar

~~~

nobody's talking
eyes are downcast
to newspaper, cell phone
or hangnail
fear and distrust
thick in the air
scattered about like
yesterday's mail

on this common commuter carrier
they're traveling the same route

home

just working folks
trying to make it all work out

they have much in common
in a way, aren't they all kin?
worn and weary at end of day,
fellows in the midst of this din?

14th Street station ahead
warns of various dangers
posted there on a column decreed

Please do not smile at strangers