The day I realized just how much you love me,
was coincidentally the worst night I've had in a very long time.


Friday night - its the night where my family and I go out to a local restaurant/bar because
Its karaoke night and my family is hosting it as always.
The clock strikes eleven o'clock and all the kids have left to go sleep.
There are many people standing around the bar,
doing shots, talking, chatting, flirting, touching, kissing.

I sit by myself, watching every person closely.
Studying them, studying the way alcohol effects people, studying the man looking, flirting, wanting to touch, my mother.

She's had a few drinks.
She can hardly stand on her own.
Her husband having a few beers himself stands back,
oblivious to the man studying my mother's hourglass figure.
That's when I see it happen.

He looks at her chest and his hand reaches up.
In complete shock, I watch in horror at the events unfolding in front of my young eyes.
Glancing back at my step-father, he is no where to be found.
Helpless, I look away before I see too much.

A few minutes later she staggers to me,
"We're leaving," she takes me by the hand and walks outside.
She was clinging to her keys when reality struck.

"Mom give me the keys, I'll drive, I have a license. Please, give me the keys"
She refused and dragged me in the car.

After arriving home from the terrifying car ride,
I turned my computer on to video chat with you.
I wanted to tell you how terrified I was
and how much I needed you to console me.
At that moment, I heard her scream my name followed by,
"Please get me the trashcan."
I ran through my house, grabbing the trashcan, throwing it at her feet and running to my room before hearing the awful noises that followed.
Slamming my door shut I cover my ears,
trying hard to ignore the sounds of drinking too much,
and thats when I called you.

I don't know how you understood anything I said through sobs,
but as soon as you heard my desperate plea,
you sang to me:

You are my sunshine,
my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are grey.
You'll never know dear how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I knew how much you hated singing - but you knew just what to do to help me through.
That was the moment I realized how much you love me,
and how much I love you too.