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Amanda 6d
It's the waking up I hate
Not the going to sleep
People often confuse the two
Not understanding what I mean
I love to dream the night away
The bed is one of my favorite places
But every time I open my eyes
All I see are disappointed faces
So you see it's easier to stay up
Pull an all-nighter or at least try
Than to be shook awake by the painful reality
The sobering pathetic state of my life
So to avoid the jolt of the sudden truth
I stay up until I can't fight and fall
Honestly I'd sleep forever if I could
But I can't so I'd rather not go to sleep at all
I know this is ironic but that moment when I first awaken and realize it's a ****** new day in a ****** up world with the same hateful state of mind is so ******* discouraging and difficult I would prefer to slowly fade into it from a long tired night than for it to hit me like a ton of bricks after a wonderful fantasy dreamland for however many blissful hours of relief.
she was apprehensive
towards my behavior
and each night she
kindly asked me
to come to
bed early
with
her

but
I
would
never
listen

and thinking
about it now
as I’m screaming
for an early
bedtime
I understand
where she was
coming from

but in the grand
scheme of things,
all
those
nights
exploding with
self-engagement,
unmanageable
consciousness,
unsuitable stability,
brimful and glistening
with insomnia, insanity
intoxication, isolation
in that red light
of the new dawn
were just to beautifully
violent and untimely
to ever slow down.

all
those
nights

while
her
flea-bitten
salt-crusted
mouth
snored
through
it
all.
Pineapple Isle Mar 2018
I feel like I have all the time in the world if I just stay up late at night.
Oh, but that's not sustainable.

— The End —