when you say you wanna heal broken people, I tend to reveal a broken sequel
I'm usually doing fine until i remember of what I've been through
and I still cant let myself cry in front of you.
just feel jaded, numb, wishing I was gone.
But these are the facts I stick to:

I never had something this good, my heart races at every view
When things get a little shaky, my mind thinks "too good to be true"
It's what I'm used to, I've lost what I'm close to
I've never lost hope, but I feel like I'm supposed to
Im in deep waters, regardless if i chose to
going to feel it hard, like I overdosed you
When it's too much, I'd always excuse you.
But you chose to stay when I don't expect you.

__________________

a girl with a mind like a tunnel
somewhere amidst a winding mountain road
quiet and familiar
the tunnel
calm and inviting

as his headlights
approach
from the distance
particles of light
start finding their way inside
the tunnel less dim
with every
heartbeat
until
everything is illuminated within
fractions of a second
his headlights span out
into every corner
and every crevasse
and brings every brushed away memory  
into full view
warmly embracing every hidden secret  
and for a moment
the tunnel becomes
unnaturally bright
          the kind of bright that makes you
          squint your eyes and
          hold your breath and
          dig the tips of your fingers
          into the foam of your steering wheel
          but you don't get afraid because
          your eyes adjust before
          the fear sets in
and when your eyes do adjust
you forget that it's ever been dark at all
and you feel as though this light
can last forever
          but our eyes can only handle
          so much light  

now he's approaching the exit
and his headlights
are reaching out
beyond the arch of the tunnel
far into the thick woods and towards the
mountain tops
as he passes through on his way
to some final destination
and he never even thought to stay

so cherish
the very last seconds
and cherish
every fraction of his
beautiful bright light
before the tunnel
goes dim
and everything is
quiet
and all that is left is a numbed pain
          the kind of pain you feel
          when your pupils
          dilate
          so fast
          they hurt

here's to the ones who hold on.
who look back,
who still check their phone.

who stay signed into Netflix, letting their ex still log on.

here's to the ones who continue,
the people who don't thrive.

the break in breaking up.
the die in alive.

here's to the ones who stay,
who feel better,
who taste decay.

the ones who make excuses,
who speak of love,
who tie their nooses.

whether we stay or leave we're still holding on.
the go in going never turns into gone.
yesterday's actions brought back from the grave.
forced to be the savior when you need to be saved.

I'll never know why I didn't answer. I just needed some time to pull myself together. And I was fine just for the moment. You were quick to hope but I was faster to anger. And now you're gone. Headed northbound. And I was hoping you'd stay but now it's time to move on.

The ******* in me says I'm not good for anything. The liar in me knows it's true. I was thinking last night about my purpose for being here. I spent all night thinking of you.

So here's to you. And all the fall out. And the fears you left behind in your desertion from this town. And I'm still here. In my parents' basement. Singing song after song about my discontentment. And all my friends- they feel the same way. But we're not giving up after these disappointments.

I want to break you with a jaded memory. I want to leave you like a faded misery. Fading quickly, but you won't break me. And if this world starts collapsing, I'm sure I'll be okay.

Are you regularly transcending your ego?
Is doubt interfering with your intentions?
Can you dream dreams and envision a future,
that are aligned with His plan of Salvation?

Will your dreams manifest into your reality?
Have you discussed your purpose with Him?
Can you claim that you’re making progress?
Are you imploding from events that are grim

and seeking to pull your soul downward again?
Are you applying Biblical principles often,
to your personal, family and professional lives?
Are you kind toward others, with a heart soften

by the joyous message of God’s abundant Love?
Are you involving yourself in high-energy levels
of appreciation, reverence, trust and optimism?
Or are you sacrificing at the feet of devils,

who have stolen your Life’s sacred, first Love?
In the midst of your brokenness, does Light shine?
Can the uninitiated and unsaved, see any evidence
in your behavior, whereby your life is a shrine

that proclaims the greatness and goodness of God?
From agitations and disruptions, do you find release?
Can you stay clear of commotions and hullabaloos?
Are you living… in turmoil or staying in peace?
.
.
.
Author notes

Inspired by:
Psa 24:1-10; Phil 4:8-10; 1 Cor 14:33;
Eph 4:4-14; Job 12:10

Learn more about me and my poetry at:
http://amzn.to/1ffo9YZ

By Joseph J. Breunig 3rd, © 2016, All rights reserved.