Staying there

I was

Time's captive

abandoned in

Change's shore.

You may be my number one but,
Coming in second place ain’t nothing but me on the run from your first love.
Sneaking into your room
Smelling nothing but her fresh sprayed perfume
Laying on her pillow on her side of the bed
Its almost too easy to just pretend
To you, there is nothing to mend
Nothing wrong with it
It’s just *** no feelings in it
You say to yourself “it isn’t really cheating”
While telling me I’m the one who really gets your heart beating
Filling me with fleeting horomones I know will go away when I go home
But
Right now you and I are all alone
If I try to leave you’ll just call my name and groan
“I can’t live without you”
So I’ll crawl into the bed that you pretend is ours
As if we’re the ones engaged in more than just an affair
I lie to you and  tell you I just don’t care that i am not yours
As you hold my body and stroke my hair
I almost feel loved
But I know in reality there are no doves in our future
And No future for those imaginary symbols of love to inhabit
So, after our fun
I rise up and
Smile and
Say goodbye
Because no matter how hard I try I will
Never be your number one
And not looking back I’m
Back on the run
This time, not from your day one,
But from you, and your false illusion of love.

Lead bricks,
breath thick,
Am I drowning or
just barely keeping
my head
above
the
waves?

Dark water conceals
curious creatures nibbling at my skin
  nip   nip   nip
Innocently making off with
itty bits of my raw flesh.
If I stop struggling,
give in and
sink,
They go hungry.
I go free.

My heart resolutely pumps
viscous, sticky life
(like honey)
slowly through my veins.
What's the rush?
The roar in my ears accompanying
panic-struggle-desperation-fear
is absent.
Sink or swim,
the outcome is the same.

I breathe deep
And feed the fish.

You sit by the screen
Waiting for life's demean
I come to stay
To show you a way
As the hours go by
I hope to keep you by my side
You don't look to the past
Just hold fast
These beautiful days
So mother you can still say
All the things we need to hear

i am the worlds worst guest.
i will help you cook a meal
set the table
help place the plates
will eat everything in front of me
wash up and dry alongside you
even if you tell me not too
i am the worlds worst guest.

i will stay in your room
help clean the clutter
make it neat and tidy
as long as you are beside me
i can sit on the bed chair or floor
and i will never tire or bore
i am the worlds worst guest.

i have no sense of time
i can stay hours or days
until you've had enough
there's always another time
there's always other stuff
i need to be told to go
otherwise i will never know

That i am the worlds worst guest.