"Get out of my head!" I chuck the tea kettle as hard and as far as I can. You ducked your head out of the way at the last possible second. How unsatisfying.
Here it is in a nutshell:
I want to know that it isn't all for you.
That you knew we were part of this too.
That you knew we went through the same kind of pain.
That you missed me.
That you wanted to make it better.
But if this is all there is.
I'm still going to take it.
Because it's better than nothing.
I was there.
I was there.
It isn't all about you.
You can't tell me that you missed anything about our friendship?
Then I guess there wasn't one to begin with.
I almost went to the same dark and empty spaces.
I tried so suppress everything.
And I suffered just as much as you.
You don't get to "win" at having the worst outcome.
Just because you weren't there to see the pain, doesn't mean it wasn't there.
Just because you never saw me do anything, doesn't mean it never happened.
I was here.
And I've been here the whole time.
I'm done being mad.
Here's to hoping that day 2 actually happens this time.
I'll throw up an "Amen" because I need it and because I want it.
Going to church for the first time in 2 or 3 weeks. The 3rd time I've tried sticking to a church. Hopefully I actually stick with it this time.
— The End —