i burned into myself a way to remember your laugh
flushed cheeks that raised flags red to your eyebrows
skimmed over in the heat of thinking "this is it"
and it was
nothing more than the sounds of joy for milliseconds
that echoed for years in one's head
it was like the sea had flooded my cranial cavity
i was drowning cerebrally

Thoughts are eating me alive
I feel sharp bites as they gnaw
Bleeding out pints of sense and reason
From conclusions I draw

I am glad to drift to sleep every night
Even with precious time flying by
Happy to experience any relief
No problems behind closed eyes

Conversations filling free dreams floating within
Attempting to be understood
Have no interest in indulging opinions
Hanging silent in my head, engraved in 'would'

In efforts to turn around my thinking
I stuff my mind with different distractions
Put hands to use with various tasks
Only substances bring satisfaction

I need to unearth the causes
Responsible for lack of peace
Little by little learn to be happy
Sorrows burning my brain will cease