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bukowski May 2014
I shake and I tremble
just trying to get my thoughts
in an order that works;
trying to get them
to assemble
in a way that makes
them easier
to understand;
left, right, centre,
nothing is fixed;

so,
the only thing left
is to
leave the thoughts,
make them go away
for a while;
drink,
****,
smoke,
thinking is painful,
numb the ******* pain
for a while
Genevieve May 2014
This morning I woke up
03:27am;
Outside it had been raining
The leaves on the trees were still wet
I was cold.
The window was open and
A gust of wind
Blows through into my bedroom,

I had had a restless night.

Kicked the covers
half on to the floor but,
My pillow
I held onto tightly;
Not under my head
But in my arms.

I dreamt about you
again,
I can’t get you out of my head.

My mind is so loud;
The voices shout and scream,
They never leave me alone;
Wanting my attention
Every waking moment
Grabbing me by the throat,
Stopping my breathing.
I cannot speak
Only a hoarse whisper
Proceeds,
their hold is too tight
To break free.
Don't you miss it?  A little?
when we didn't worry if it was right
and we could talk a lot
and it was if we'd never be apart
time kind of flew by, and we grew up
we wondered about things we used to know for sure
and all we used to know didn't make sense
I don't think we can get that back
We'll always wonder if any of our decisions were right in the end
if what drove us to those decisions was worth any of the difficulty

We'll always have our doubts.
Daylight 4U2C May 2014
The iron drips from my fingers.
The man gives out a yell.
The child launches, she launches at me.
Sadly her launch had failed.
I chuckled at her, with no pity.
Her frightened face, what a laugh.
The person she’s crying for isn't worth dying for.
After all,
he was a bad man.
It’s funny, so funny, funny the fact.
The fact, she thought if she grabbed my neck then,
maybe, just maybe, maybe I’d die.
I laughed again and finally, I gave out a sigh.
“Poor child,” I said my voice left unchanged.
“You misunderstood. I shouldn't be ashamed.
Your idol has done so many bad things,
now he’ll pay for his sins of adultery,
in a place which this blind man cannot see.
She fell to the ground befalling her tears.
This was the end of her happy years.
What? Did she think it was a fairy tale life?
Reality is sharp, just like a knife.
I laughed at the fact I took his life,
with just one swing of my most dull scythe.
bukowski May 2014
stumbling home
in the evening
with my breath
smelling of cheap beer
and cigarettes;
people worry,
I tell them not to;
I do this for me,
not for attention
or sympathy,
I do this to feel
more alive,
because I feel so
dead inside
and my thoughts
are racing;
drinking shuts them up
for a couple of hours
and I feel better;
I feel sick,
but I also feel
great,
like I can do anything;
like nothing can hurt me;
is this what death
tastes like?
god,
I hope so
I look back on those things that we said;
When I told you, it was the truth:
I was willing to let you mess up a million times
I just wanted to be here to forgive you.
I wanted to make things work between us, and I probably would have dragged it out until we fought every day and were miserable.... I still doubt in my mind if we were right to just give up. Could we have fixed our big mistakes? =/ I was willing to. I'm sorry.
There's something about this room
That I've decorated recently
I'm saddened by all walls blue
And reminded by curtains green.
yen Apr 2014
but maybe
it is at times like this
  when you feel the most desolated
   and alone

you think of how it would be like
to be loved
  or to love
   someone you can call your own

not everyone is that lucky
to have that somebody
  they either have their thoughts
   or nobody

and it is at 1:23am when you feel most
lonely;
  desperately
   wishing for love
Tracy Burke Apr 2014
i've come to the point where i'm always saying *******.
******* and the way you talk,
**** the way you walk and the way you run.
**** the way you smile when someone walks by you,
even if you have no idea who they are.
**** the way you slouch in your seat,
and **** the way you stand up proudly when rooting for your team.
**** the way you move and the way you care.
**** the way you dance,
and the way you slide across the floor when you really get into the music.
**** everything you do,
because now i've come to this point.
but you want to know the most ****** up thing of all?

**** the way you smile,
**** the way you smell,
the way you hold me when i'm sad,
**** the way you smile when you see me coming,
**** the way you put away your games and your phone,
when you want to spend time with me,
**** the way you tuck your head into my neck when we dance,
**** the way you sigh when you're tired,
and **** the way you flip your hair from your face.

**** the way you loved me,
and **** the way I love you.
but seriously, honestly, crazy and stupidly,
**** the way you never seemed like you really cared much,
at all.
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