Semi-
——-

Something new, in our years of partnership,

during

the early morning semi’s, the half awake, yet
mostly asleep, passageway from rest to wake,
as per usual, I am awake before her, to write,
to think, to read, to do my variety of early morn
chores, but today, her semi is populated by a
new concern, an alert, mind programmed, silent,
no chirp, no beep, just human punctual new instinct,

let us
check if my man is alive and breathing, rub his
thankfully copious-headed hair & air supply,
rub-a-dub,
once, repeat twice, thrice, sense his beating brain,
confirming the night passage, always dangerous,
completed safely, for she feels my warmth, hears
my eyes-crinkle smiling, and ascertains, the
continuation of my existence and the statistical
probability, (her occupational hazard and habit)

that when

she crosses fulsome into the living day,
awakensgladly, that her not-too-hot-black
coffee, will be
mister milkman delivered on schedule with
a bedside delivery like clockwork-blonde, with a
half sheet of enwrapping paper towel within some
morning fruit, to  ensure that her coffee will have some company…

while she dances a beloved tango in her semi-,

I am:

in my only~pretending post-tense,
semi complimentary state,
mentally scrambling scribbling half a dozen
eggs of new poem ideas, mad pursuing these
very words, my way of saying good morning girl,
my beating heart muscling me to be sure I-remain,
in the good company of the Oompa-Loompas,
and yours too!

Pada hari yang baik di bulan yang baik ini;
Hujan turun lagi membasahi segenap pertanahan;
Di balik bulirnya seorang pujangga termenung;
Menuliskan kembali lirik-lirik tersedih dalam puisinya:

Wahai imaji hujan di masa lalu;
Pernah kulupa namun mengapa belum kurela?
Wahai melodi hujan di masa lalu;
Kembali kau ketuk palung paling dalam;
Kehalusan suara wanita yang pernah ada;
Mengapa tak lenyap bersama kejatuhanmu?

Apakah lagi-lagi aku berdiri pada persimpangan yang sama?
Penuh kabut, memudar namun seyogianya belum sirna;
Tahun demi tahun telah berlalu bersama kejatuhan hujan;
Namun mengapa kesepian tak pernah berlalu?
Walau kesedihan menolak segala kefanaan;
Yang belum berubah menjadi sebuah kejadian;
Yang menolak segala bentuk pengulangan;

Apakah kekosongan merupakan bentuk realita tertunggal
Yang selamanya akan terus berbahasa dalam kebisuannya?
Mengapa masih aku mengaku yang tertabah;
Jika musibah tak mampu melenyapkan;
Segala terpaan angin rindu yang pernah berhembus?
Jika segala ketakuan masih menjadi ada dalam tiada;
Mengapa pernah juga kau lepas ikatan kita?

Perlahan kata-kata itu meresap kepada perakaran;
Sebolehjadinya ujung pena tak mampu memahami;
Segala makna yang tersirat dalam rampaian puisinya;
Bila kepergianmu adalah kesenduan dari berkat kehidupan;
Ajarkanlah aku berdamai dengan segala bentuk prasangka;
Yang datang bersama bayanganmu di kala hujan.

If aggression is at the heart of creativity then I don't apologize for the way these words slowly peel back every layer of skin and leave you aching. Exposed. I don't apologize for the way that each letter in its own just happens to set you ablaze. Not for every syllable, roll of the tongue and accent of voice that is the very candle I will gladly light in the presence of what you are not. That this flame of a candle is the one I want to watch struggle in the wind. I don't apologize for the way that everything that is right now and later on has its own sharp tongue. Of mine and not at all. But I do apologize in advance for the way you will be obliterated into exactly what you are. Pieces.