I care,
But sometimes I wish I didn't...
I wish I didn't know how cruel the world is,
But I do.
The more I know,
The more I hate people around me,
Hate on people who don't even try to understand,
To see,
To care,
But I also envy them,
I remember how much easier being selfish is,
When you simply do not know better...

Can I proceed perfectly, both empathically and practically?
Am I too weak?
Too selfish to surrender to my ethics and moral?
Will my life be better if I suppress what I've learned, ignore my inner voice and follow blindly the path ahead, no extra thoughts or worries?
Just living, simply being, following instincts that's been taught upon us,
Because that's how it's meant to be,
Even when it feels as ****** up as can be,
When everything inside you screams it's wrong,
But your selfish mind pulls you in,
Convinces you to continue to sin,
It's like you'll never win,
Because what's comfortable is safe,
What's safe is comfortable,
So you try to forget as good as you can,
To continue to live for you,
Not for them.

Beauty without empathy
A smile without depth
A thank you without sincerity
Your believing heart is out of breath
You are chasing a mirage
An oasis of fantasy
But you will know its breadth
When kindness wears no camouflage
And deception knows no honesty

It hurts.. to watch you slowly fade away
I used to smile when skies were gray.
It seems so long ago.

It hurts.. that I'm not your first thought.
That you're used to what you've got.
It's all become a show.

It hurts.. every time you promise me
Things will change and I will see.
But it all stays vaguely numb.

It hurts.. to be sitting here in pain.
Not wanting to be blamed.
My feelings have succumbed.

It hurts.. that you can fall asleep so fast.
With your head held in your grasp.
I'm awake and you don't care.

It hurts.. to want it all to go away.
But my heart wants me to stay.
As my tears fall in my hair.

It hurts.. as I'm dying in my mind.
All I wanted was your time.
But that's too much a price.

It hurts.. that tomorrow I'll be strong.
And you'll still ask me what's wrong.
But my words will not suffice.

You can people please
All you want but
Dont forget to be a little selfish

Nobody needs you like
You need you

My dear Conifer,
how long have you stood in this place?
How long have you laboured to become so mighty and sturdy?
Have you worked hard to achieve this strong foundation?

  My dear Conifer,
can I attach myself to your system and enjoy the fruits of your labour?
May I reside on your strong trunk and grow my berries from your sap?
My needs are small and you're so abundant
You won't even notice my presence on your towering body.
Can you afford me the advantages you have toiled for?

  My dear Conifer,
can I bore into your core and grow heavy in your honour.
I'll enjoy your kindness and establish my position from your greatness.
Don't be afraid,
I bear you no ill will,
I only want to become a part of your brilliance and reach the heights which you've suffered to attain.

  Conifer,
Have your roots become weak in the ground?
You sway back and forth from the most gentle winds.
Your foliage looks dry, withered.
Branches no longer reaching for the sky.
I've grown strong on your trunk,
I'm beautiful and ripe, my berries,
the most succulent of all mistletoe.
You're a frail shadow of your former self,
no longer worthy of sustaining me.