Don’t get blinded by my cheerful facade!
For I am an altruistic soul,
Walking around spreading love and happiness.
But some call me a: stingy little ******,
For I am not willing to share my sorrow and times of torment with anyone.
Why aren’t people seeing the bright side of my selfish attitude?

Before I die please tell me how you do all this ,
How are you carrying me? how you kept a stupid me sharing extreme bliss,
How you do all of this ; being polite and kissing with your prayers,
Knowing that may be it won't give you what you deserve and end up devastated with a sharp spear ,
That spear dipped in poison of pain,
And sorrow along with only threatening thunder but no soothening rain,
The rain which relieves the painful emotions,
Which are highly toxic and in extreme end up with potions ,
It's not just a big heart which take all hurt inside ,
And just pushing endless Love outside,
Even if I annoy you; tease you or push you off the ease and stab you from inside ,
You don't manage you just put them aside ,
Put it in the trash can and wrap me with care and made yourself so polite ,
Is it really possible to do without no reason at all,
Or there is something like a big treasure at the end of this fall?
I mean really is there any big worth behind all of this?
Or just it's only you and only just board me up in your boat; oh no not a boat it's a ship ,
Ship carrying every thing which can make things more than ease,
Counting from a little help upto a endless number of beautiful moments with ,
Are you a human? do you really exist?
I have numerous of questions for you; will you stay in contact forever ?
And if you don't I don't have a problem but I wish for you God must give you happiness in a big basket everyday and a person to love you every second.

I was writing a song for the flowers
withering on top of the computer table
but like all things in nature,
the petals changed
into something grey and pure.
They die beautifully,
unlike us.
When we wither,
we do not fold into ourselves;
we do not look up to the sky,
but only avoid the light,
fold within our comforts
to hide and embrace the dark.
And so when love withers,
we let it die.
We are just human
after all.

Thank you for teaching me
That sometimes
All I have to give
Will not be enough

Thank you for being
So selfish
And showing me
Some people
Only know how to drain
Not heal

Thank you for proving
That some people
Are not as good
As I want them to be

Thank you for the reminder
That not everyone
Has the same heart as me

It takes a lot to say nothing
I'm coming to find that my soul has been screaming my whole life
And I am just now able to translate its tongues
Into some sort of verbal *****
That a human could possibly understand
I have never felt like a true part of this socially structured civilization
I have never felt like a homosapien shaped by its surroundings, its perception
Instead I have felt like a source of energy that flows without molecular or even atomic ties to this universe
Confined to a physical form in a four dimensional realm
If you cleave away the ego, you can feel the infinite
I have so much more to say,
And I have struggled my whole life in finding things to say
That matter, that are relevant
And I've come to realize that my soul has been screaming my entire life
And I am finally able to translate the tongues
Into something meaningful to say.
You may not hear the divinity in the language I use
You may not feel the sincerity in my soliloquies
But I do, and my perception is what shapes my reality
And only I can save me, now
The selfishness in the selfless
And the hollowed out remains of the empath
I can't be the only one who hears this piercing noise?
And this sickness that runs through the planets veins?
The agonized cry of every species on the earth harmonized into the humming vibration some call the will of god
Our pain is ricocheting through the void we reside within
An echo chamber of screams
I do not believe in hell because it cannot get worse than this.
No, not this moment, you may have misunderstood
The progression of these moments will lead to an inevitable end
An end to end every beginning
I am not the only one who knows that the dead are just no longer physically present
I am not the only one who knows that humans are parasites
I am not the only one who can feel the agony of someone I have never come across
Simply because
Our souls all scream on a frequency
That only those who truly listen can hear.