In every thing that has been done.
Was decided and done by you.
The only person who can make a change in your life is YOU.
Not anyone.  Be a better person than your yesterday self.  Surround yourself with the people who really care about you.  But do not forget to return the favor.  As we all know this is what we call gratitude and not kissing ***.  We have used that term too much that we dont know whom to trust.  Sadly we have fed up our Pride that it grew bigger and fatter.......More than anything else.

Always have the heart to be NEW.

With a blank canvas
I start my life
With nothing holding me back
I paint my life

I yearn for this canvas
For it dictates my colours
Be it rainbow or mono
I am counting the moments

With a fresh start
I rewrite my story
From dull to light
I await for this chance

So come with me on a journey
With fun and excitement
With sorrow and pain
I shall walk my way through
All for that one minute of fame.

If you could, would you
Trade all these words
For the peace of mind
That you never got

If you could, would you
Wipe off all your memories,
scars and lessons
And restart

if you could, would you
Let the heart give away its last beat
To some goodbye
You think should never exist

As to what I would do
I am not so sure
All I can do is sit and ponder
What might have happened

If I had chosen to let you go
When I still had it in me

A touch of hand
Hardly a brush
But you felt enough
A word
he whispered
Not much
But you felt yourself
getting swept away

A smile
He brings when he comes,
Nothing strong,
But it won't ever falter
A new hope you found
Amidst all these doubts,
No way to know where it will lead
But you can't stop

You can feel it,
Everywhere you go,
The winds keep spreading
His aroma all around you

You can see it,
In the darkness
You are now dreaming of his face
With eyes wide open

The adrenaline rush
Giving you the highest high
you ever felt
A shrug, it can't be that
But you can't stop looking her way

A glimpse
Not long before she goes
But she continues to linger
In your thoughts

You can feel it
In your solitude
The ebbing pain cursing her name

You can hear
the fresh leaves saying
The weather will soon change

A growing blush on your cheeks
Not too prominent, you hope
But everyone with eyes
Has started to see a pattern

A stutter along with some whispers
Your heart floats some place far
With a buoyancy  
it has just acquired

You can hear it
Inside your chest
What once was hollow
Is now pounding with grace

You can feel it
By the flutters of the butterflies
That rose from the ashes

A strange euphoria wreathed around you
Not one reason you can confirm
But your friends say
It is cause of her

A late night revelation
Not a thing you planned
But here you are hoping hard
The cupid hit both of you and not just one.

You can see it now
clearer than the moon
on a cloudless night
It is love.
You know it now
Better than the childhood rhymes
You have learnt
*It must have been love all along

Inside these walls
is a girl afraid.

She does not trust.
She does not hope.
She does not believe.

But one day,
A spark of light came down on her

The walls that hid her
came crashing down.

Her eyes were opened
To a place of new beginnings.
A place were she can start fresh.
A place she can call freedom.

I lied about the person I am inside. I've done what you asked I've swallowed my pride.
I've done everything I can to hide.
But I can't get it out. And I can't hold it down.
like ***** and bile its not something that should stay for a while.
Its the monster inside of me. A Million sharks eating me. The glass in my throat cuts higher and higher. The breath of fire, a scream is all I desire.
I just want to live, and I don't want to lie.
Keep the violence contained, smother your flame. Choke it down and away.
Don't ask me to stay.
If I could I would be with you every day.
but duty calls.
The world needs a changing and my heart needs rearranging.
I just can't lie to the monster inside.

There are
lines along the shadows that
trace every wall in my room,
cast from the sunny days we
spent together.

The gleam
lifting off of the paint
hazed our home with
peace, and uncertainty
in that order.

Our hands
grew laced in messy knots
as twisted sunflower stalks.
We basked in the neverending sun
and photo synthesized
love, the
love we shared
and the
love we swallowed.

We devoured rays of light
like emperors of the most
beautiful gardens, until the
masses had no more to give.
And I was made to suffer in
your eternal scorn for not
giving you more,

for

you believed you were the
very hand that fed us. You
told me you
rose in the east,
and set in the west
so we could be amassed in our riches.

I had nothing left to give you because I gave you everything I had and it was not enough.

I just want to be enough to share my days with someone I can feel at home with.

Now, I've found that same
silver-shine light in the eyes of
another who graces the presence
of my hands and fills my heart
with monarchs of old, with tiny
wings fluttering in the gentle
air. And I hope to be enough for
her.

I resent you for the way you used to
shut all of the lights off and leave me
in the empty rooms of your house
while your self centered devotion
ran circles around the driveway
and pushed me further into the street.

I have found someone that I would like to spend my time with. And while I no longer feel anything for you, the damage you have done to me will not fade.

I can apply new coats to make the walls shine less, but just knowing of the old paint is enough to make me sick. I can pull up all of the weeds you left among my flowers, but just knowing of the roots is enough to make it feel meaningless. Even if it's not.

But this home inside of me is still beautiful, and I will do what I can to restore it.

Maybe it isn't who's right and who's wrong,
in matters to do with the heart.
Maybe we're actually all just scared witless,
of the uncertainty that lies behind the word 'restart'.

You're a poison and I can't get you
out of my veins
Infecting specifically my mind and heart
I wish I could just end all of this
But that would mean you winning this battle
and I refuse to succumb to such to such a sickness,
When she is the driving factor behind
all of your actions.

Infestation of the mind, they said
mind over matter, I tried to remind myself
But what really mattered at this point was
getting my body to be one with yours again.
Cardiac arrest, they said
love conquers all, I tried to remind myself
Your words and ignorance managed to
put my heart to rest better than any of the
self inflicted pain and anxiety that occurred
while you left sporadically, and as you pleased.

Slow and steady wins the race
Slowly but surely you took pieces of my heart,
and showered them onto the ground like shreds
of confetti you threw in celebration
of a new life without me.