you know who i am
you have seen her
dancing in flickering candlelight
heady breath wafting the
sickly sweet smell of
too many consumed beers
drowning my inhibitions
inundating my irises and
letting my eyes betray my
carefully constructed façade
the grenade you throw yourself upon

but you haven't asked the right question

have you never wondered
what i am?

i am the tolling of
bells echoing through
deserted streets
cobbles screaming for
footfalls and bustling crowds
the only witnesses to the
belfry's solemn song
reverberating off the
business fronts boarded up
to ward off the reality of sobriety
and Death's march through the streets
sending the inhabitants running
disturbed dust blinding their
frenzied eyes
who search for a sacrificial lamb
as if a swathe of blood
across the door could
keep away such an
inevitability

i am the stars
but don't confuse that with
a confession
or profession of some sort
that i'm something infinite
for you to probe
with hyper-drives and
deep suspended animation
there is no alien microbial life
lurking below my frozen
absolute zero surface
i'm only the stars that
you lose track of as
you leave the blackness of
open space and enter
a deafening city where
skyscrapers obscure
and the pollution of
a million lovers' ecstasy
drowns out the light
wrought in the deepest parts of me
and catapulted through
the lightyears of black vacuum
only to be lost
choked out by incessant
revelry

i am the heaviness that
yolks itself around your shoulders
and the night black that
wraps itself around you in
its vicious velvet embrace to
***** out your breath and
envelop you
swallow you
pinch the flame
asphyxiate your existence

i am the tunnel under
the Pont de l'Alma
a loss of control and the
echoing reverb of
skidding rubber
tires whose
black smoke chokes out
the screams which constitute
the end and last breath of
a goddess among men who
never could understand her
and in her end
found culpability

i am the petrichor haze
that settles
nestles itself into every
corner of the barren graveyard
wherein lies my comfort
and my greatest hope
my fear of names and dates
and chiseled stone
and finality that means
a peaceful nothingness
that welcomes the most
effervescent
ebullient
peace
that comes with the
cessation of neural firings
and the end of all things.

Losing you was like jumping off the high dive.
At first I was in free fall.
I felt nothing.
Everything was calm.
Just atoms floating through time and space.
Then...
FLOP
Like hitting the pool stomach first.
The pain radiated out to my entire body.
No limb left unhurt.
Stinging, aching, unable to get over it and
Just climb out of the pool.

Its hard to say goodbye.
Incredibly.

I am so sorry that you feel this was easy for me.
It was anything but that.

I never meant to hurt you.
I never meant to ruin everything.

Thank you for all the things you did for me.
Thank you for all the memories.

I am sorry I was not enough.
I am sorry I didn't treat you right.

But this is it.
Goodbye my King.

he smiles
her heart flutters
like birds soaring

"i cannot fall for him
he will break me
and every wall i've build
will be wasted" she says

as she grabs him by the neck
and pulls him in for a kiss
with a lingering thought
of how a kiss wouldn't hurt

but when will she learn
after times and times
of getting her heart
broken trampled and torn apart

and as her best friend
i can only stand
and watch
as she ruins herself
falling for him
again and again

How can you not get it? You’re everything to me. You’ve managed to crawl inside my brain and force me to strive for more. You make me want to reach new heights, explore new depths, indulge myself in new opportunities, create new endings, and find peace inside this ****** up world. You came along and you gave a way out from a cold, lonely, and dark abyss that I had permitted myself to get lost in for so long that I’d almost forgotten what the light looked like, or what it felt like to hold another close to me. I had almost forgotten the warmth of another body, the way someones eyes could latch themselves into your soul and make a home there, and above all else, the way the very presence of a person, even for ten seconds, could light up your whole day and just as easily ruin it when they are absent. All too soon, however, you’ll realize the hopelessness inside of me that I’ve become quite acquainted with and you’ll pack your bags and take the first bus to a new lover that will satisfy you with mental stability. I didn’t ask for you to come along, I didn’t ask for you to fix me, but you did and you promised me you wanted to. What’s worse, even, is that it was so easy for you to leave once you’d outgrown me, like a butterfly does its cocoon. You moved on and found a better life, one that better suited you, and one that didn’t involve me. I didn’t ask for you to come along, instead, I begged for you to stay. I didn’t ask for you to fix me, instead, I begged for you to heal me. I didn’t ask for you to leave, instead, you told me you were going. Oh, and if you’re wondering what will happen to me... I’ll just be sitting at the bus stop, hoping and praying that one day you’ll return to me, that you’ll bring me out of my cold, lonely, and dark abyss that grows more overwhelming with each day that passes when you are not by my side.