A figure lurks in the shadows,
its gaze fixed on me,
expectant
hungry
lifeless.

As I walk on the narrow path
of life – unaware at first,
I feel its presence
slowing my steps with unseen weight
like stones filling my pockets underwater.
The sun dims when its near,
colours leaching from the world.
I want to run,
but the path narrows,
thins to a tightrope beneath me.

The figure waits
forever patient,
sometimes distant as mountains,
sometimes close as my own shadow.

It grabs the coattails
of my existence,
clawing its way closer
with each heartbeat,
each exhale,
each moment of forgetting.
Until I can feel
its breath
on my neck.

It whispers in the voice I know too well,
murmurs dressed as memory,
lullabies of failure,
groans of what might have been.

I do not turn,
But I know it waits.

A figure lurks in the shadows,
Still, I walk on.
I have places to go
Before it takes me.

Lonely... I'm so lonely
When the clock struck twelve on that silent night
Emotions befell me that caused quite a fright
Sadness and anger
A glimpse of the past
Regret for the days that just couldn't last
I felt like a failure, a reject, a mess
A desolate child stuck in distress
That's who I was
And that's who I'll be
A forever lonely child
Lost in misery

I fear a ghost has taken hold of me;
I feel its presence when I tend to wake
From eerie dreams that blur reality,
A haunting feeling that I cannot shake.
It steals from me the things I once enjoyed,
And leaves an empty feeling in their place,
As if my life were something to be toyed,
Then left alone and broken in its case.
I'm at the mercy of an angry kid
Who died alone, afraid and far too young.
Too scared to face his fears, he only hid,
And choked upon the words stuck on his tongue.
Shackled to him, I try but can't escape;
To bear the burden of his sins, my fate.

I was afraid to get close to you,
Fearing the allure of your arms,
Afraid I'd succumb too readily,
Unable to resist your charms

I was afraid that your kiss might hold
A thrill I could never forget,
Afraid my loving you would become
A choice I would live to regret

I was afraid you might be the man
I could easily come to adore,
Afraid you'd beguile me with your love,
And then leave me begging for more

I was afraid you would steal my heart
With your flowery words and rhyme,
Then flippantly cast it asunder
To be lost to the winds of time

Then I thought perhaps I feared too much,
So I granted Love its rightful due;
Love repaid me . . . with tears and regret --
For all of my fears have come true

If yesterday had come for you,
               I’d mourn forever.

If today is that day you leave me,
          still I’ll never forget you.

If tomorrow already erased you,
     then maybe I should retrace it.

I wore the call like borrowed skin,
“Serve thy nation, cleanse the sin.”
But duty whispered in disguise—
And led me blind with open eyes.

I shot a boy whose hands were inked,
His gaze met mine—our fates linked.
His mother’s scream became my thread,
A lullaby I sing in dread.

I silenced poets, burned their page,
Mistook their words for rebel rage.
No gun they raised, no war they waged—
Just truths too loud to keep uncaged.

They pinned a medal on my chest,
A shining badge that won’t let rest.
Each star a mark I can’t erase—
An honor earned in dark disgrace.

They spoke of pride and sacrifice,
But never told me peace has a price.
Now dreams return in uniform,
And every night becomes a storm.

This ballad plays in broken loops,
Of war not won but buried truths.
I bore a flag that bore a lie—
And now I’m left too dry to cry.

Mug heat radiates
I boil in my regret
The phone is right there

At Switchback Coffee
Colorado Springs, C-O
April the nineteenth

You never realize how good you had it till it's taken from you.

The opportunity you had that slipped from your grasp.
The time you could've spent doing so much more.
The job you lost and can't seem to match.
The friends you had that nobody can quite compare to.
Or maybe it's the love that you took for granted.

It's easy to think that everything is an upwards climb.
You can tell yourself that it will all get better and neglect what you do have for what you don't have.
But life doesn't work like that, not at all.
Sometimes, the things you neglected become the things you wish you would've appreciated, even if just slightly more.

We just want and want and want, but we never sit to think about what we do have, rather than what we think we will have.