Ronnie our biggest pup
hates car journeys
making her throw up
I hoped it was something
she would get used to
but my daughter said
perhaps its because
she associates it with
the last time she ever saw her mother
I never thought of that

There was a black and white dog who wore a Mickey Mouse symbol on her back
Had pointy ears and a buttoned nose
Always down to cuddle, lazy days are her favorite in fact.
She is the size of a football
But has confidence the size of a Great Dane
Whom she will try to attack, if he gets to close to our lawn.
I don’t think she realizes that she’s the perfect size for a mid-day snack.
Protecting our house is her priority
Even though she won’t win an attack.

The walls, painted with the gloss of all the secrets that you and only you know, or the stuffed animal that has caught your tears through life’s afflictions. Or, the comforter that has kept you warm through those times where you swore this was the night your blood will run cold. Theres a furry, doe eyed, four legged creature of the heart, though there isn't an utter of any sort from either entity, there is a knowing. Stripped to your raw essence, he understands without question.

What joy:

To hold
The world
In your arms -

Alive and warm
And soft
And breathing

Chest rising
And falling
Yet rising again

Always rising,
Like the golden
Dawn, consistent,

Always bright.
Always beautiful.
Somehow,

In my arms
Against the odds
I'm holding light.

You were a pile of bones.
I loved you before I met you,
blindly as one should, staring at your photo through a phone.

I didn't know, but my heart knew, as I sat nervously in the car.
Scenarios of sickness,
unfolding in my brain,
spilling out like oil.
I tried to clean up, but everything was already greasy and black--
primed for you to leave me,
before you even laid down on my lap.

Then I held you.
You felt so soft,
and gentle.
But, instead of joy,
I felt dread.
You were too calm.
You didn't wiggle, or whine.
I said "It's probably fine,"
but your body was ticking like a bomb.

I feel foolish, dear pup,
ashamed of my dreams on the way home,
of you running, and playing, and growing up.

But you did not play,
and you did not eat.
You were so tired, and woeful, and weak.
I knew when I heard
your little heartbeat,
and your raspy breath,
right next to my ear as I slept.

And the next day,
on a cold metal table,
you slipped away quietly.
I hope that you know I loved you entirely.

Aside from crying,
all I can manage to do now, is to laugh.
Because, while grasping at straws I had thought
"You can't spell Olive without the word 'live.' "
What a cruel cosmic gaffe.

You are
My first [puppy].
My first [dog].

I never thought
I could look at someone like you
And know,
Truly know,
That nothing else matters
But you.

That time will keep moving,
And problems will keep growing.
But what's important
Is the
Here
And Now
With you.

Thank you
For reminding me
That love
Is all I need
To be happy.

A boy with messy hair,
That’s how I know you.
A girl with shabby dress,
That’s how you know me.

Since we were kids
We started as friends
I was one of the boys
And you are one of them

We run in the afternoon,
Wave goodbyes at night
But things don’t end like that,
We meet again at the same time.

We grew up as friends
Sharing secrets no one knows well;
Like open books for one another
Locked for the eyes of others.

Time flies as we grew older
And our friendship grew weaker.
You started to love someone, so do I
The only difference is you love her, not I.