Even my poems
do not speak eloquence
or a personal soliloquy--
my words lack the lush
and brazen must
that all else seem to speak.

To hold a pearl
is something to behold
a precious mistake
bore into beauty.

I speak muzzled
ideas that are simply
monologues; meant
to only hinge
ideas together.

They do not
let you understand me,
but give a soft or bleak
ensemble of demenor
of someone I've been trying to find.

I am both flames and snowflakes.


I'll explode into sparks then I'll calm down like the falling snow.  

I will challenge your comfort zone, but I'll fight to stay in mine.  

I will feel fire in my heart when I am passionate or angry,

I will feel a blizzard when I am curious or afraid.

I will always rise, even if I fall.

I will roar louder than the mighty lion or slither quieter than the sly snake.

I will forgive without thought, or I will wear revenge with grace.

I will become completely attached to you, or leave without thought.

I will tear my barriers apart or build garden gates.

I will be bold, or I will never speak.

I will authentically be myself, or what I need to become.



I am simple, I depend on you.

I have a very limited diet.
I survive off sweet and nutritious thoughts.
The compliments that taste like candy.
I devour them whole.

Put a little icing on me.
I could use a personality.
What do you want me to be?
Something sour? Or something sweet?

Cut me open, limb by limb.
Tell me good things.
Eat me and tell me how good I taste.
I crave the validation.

The bad thoughts have my stomach tied in knots.
I puke them out until I'm hungry again.
I could use some sweet things.
So all your thoughts get shoved down my throat.

Order anything you'd like.
I'll be whatever you want.
I'll make sure to consume perfection.
You are what you eat after all.

Am I good yet?
Am I too much, too little?
Too sweet, too savoury?
I will take in your thoughts and make you happy.

I'm filling up on too many thoughts.
But I'm starving.
I'm overeating all the nice things you say.
My insides are an overflowing shipwreck.

What flavour is my personality?
Should I just scrape it off?
Everyone will like me more without it.
Everyone will like me more without it.

Devour me whole, tell me I'm pretty.
Take a bite of me.
Call me the perfect identity.
Do you enjoy me?

I purge your thoughts and change my flavour.
Why aren't you happy?
My stomach is empty.
I've forgotten who I used to be.

there is something
about that boy
something that leaves you
always wanting more
no
it is not his body
it is his simple presence

Alone.

So very alone.

The echoes in my mind

Reflect back, and I hear.

"Alone.

"So very alone."

-

I can't very well understand.

Why it is or why,

I cant.

But what I know is simple, im reminded very slow

I'm alone,

So very alone.

At days end im just the same as I was

Alone.

-

Off in the distance I see,

Those who are very near to me.

And yet I do not know them, or cannot grasp

Their clothing in these hands.

I hear the voice inside my mind,

Cry to itself as it weeps inside

It says:

"Alone!

"So very alone!"

"So where to go, shall we go?!

"That we might not be alone?"

once you realize
you're different
you wanna be normal

then you realize
you're normal
you wanna be different