The jingle of keys makes my skin crawl
I could always hear them as he came down the hall
I knew my bedroom door he would breach
I knew soon it was me he would besiege
These are my early childhood memories
Now you know what started my disease
And why my blood runs cold and I freeze
When I hear the jingle of keys

There was a little girl plunged into the dark
The future for her was very stark
She never knew unconditional love
For her it was always push and shove
It was no surprise
She picked a man that was good with lies
With that choice her darkness increased
Beaten and caged, no release
She finally broke lose with young intow
Everything seemed so out of control


She finished raising her brood
All alone she stood
Protecting them from all the men
And all their sin
Or so she thought, but evil raised it's head from within
Her mom had married a bad man again
And step grandpa got her child
Her only son, that ******* *******

The drarkness has never left her side
Her heart grew chide
And there still is not a day she hasn't cried

Of course she's had day's of beauty and laughter
Those day's had to be chased after
These days are quite frail
And easily derailed
They are seen through the vail
That comes in diffrent shades of gray
But you see it never goes away

And days like today it's dark as a moon less night
Even with the sun shining bright
One small act could turn this around
But cruelty is still all she's found
So even with most of her life lived
She still in her room can be found..... hid
With shades pulled tight
To let in no light
For the dark is all she's known
So now the dark she calls home

Little boy blue, for you I blow the horn
I wish you was just lost amongst the corn
But the monster came and snatched your hand
Lead you off to an angry foreign land
I can see you, but can't touch your frozen heart
You was such a loving child at the start
But my little boy has grown into an angry man
Now in this empty field I stand
A trillion tears I've cried for you
Of the loss of my little boy blue
Who's eye's use to look up to me with love
You are my only son sent from above
But now you've gone into the void
Your innocence and ability to love destroyed

Why did you want to hurt me again
Why do you want to twist that knife in
Your words cut worse than any knife
And I'm the reason for your strife

I swear I did the best I could
I thought I was proticting you like I should
I'm sorry I didn't know
But I'd ask you everytime you would go
But your answer was always no

But I know little kids can be frightened
And I'm sure that noose he tightened
And I don't blame you for hating me
For I am mom you see
I was supposed to protect you from the monsters
But I didn't know it would be my secound step father

I didn't know my mom would marry a another one like the first
This nightmare was the worst
I just wish you could see
I tried my very best to be
The mother you could always depend on
But now your gone

You hate me for what was done
But I want you to know if I'd had a gun
He could of never hurt anyone
And tho you hate me I'll love you always
I'm mom and I'm to blame anyways

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... in your grave
No more children will you crave

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... shot in the head
For your sickness that you fed

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... and at Hell's gate
No more monsters can you create

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... you won't be missed
Maybe my nightmares won't exist

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... with all your sin
It'll be cursed ground you sink in

Why did you want to hurt me again
Why do you want to twist that knife in
Your words cut worse than any knife
And I'm the reason for your strife

I swear I did the best I could
I thought I was proticting you like I should
I'm sorry I didn't know
But I'd ask you everytime you would go
But your answer was always no

But I know little kids can be frightened
And I'm sure that noose he tightened
And I don't blame you for hating me
For I am mom you see
I was supposed to protect you from the mosters
But I didn't know it would be my secound step father

I didn't know my mom would marry a another one like the first
This nightmare was the worst
I just wish you could see
I tried my very best to be
The mother you could always depend on
But now your gone

You hate me for what was done
But I want you to know if I'd had a gun
He could of never hurt anyone
And tho you hate me I'll love you always
I'm mom and I'm to blame anyways

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... in your grave
No more children will you crave

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... shot in the head
For your sickness that you fed

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... and at Hell's gate
No more monsters can you create

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... you won't be missed
Maybe my nightmares won't exist

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... with all your sin
It'll be cursed ground you sink in

Today is the day I end someones life.

For a span of 2 to 12 years,
will I feel guilt... through the span of those years?
Will I feel something when he gets out?

21...
I'll be around 21, when he gets out.

Not even the age he was,
when he put me in that awful position...

He ruined my life... kind of?
So isn't it fair that I ruin his?!?!?

If it is...
Why do I feel so guilty,
like i'm the monster.
F**K...

Stockholm's syndrome?

It is one more night.
There is no light when you
Come in to do the things you do
Things that I don’t want to.
I don’t mean to taunt you
To encourage you to touch,
To touch my secret parts.
That makes me feel *****.
You say I act flirty and that’s why,
But it makes me cry.
I wish you won’t want to play
This awful game again today
That you will go play it
With Mommy.
Maybe she likes it.
I already know I won’t.
Daddy, please don’t.

Don’t get on your knees
Beside my bed and touch my head
And tell me I am pretty like a girl.
It makes my head whirl with fear.
You tell me no tears, keep quiet
And I try it, but it never works
When you **** down my unders
And I feel your fingers blunder
All around on me.
And inside me.
It’s nasty.

Daddy, please don’t do it.
I knew it was wrong the first time
And I know I’m the reason
And you say you are pleasing me
And you mean it lovingly
But it is hurting me inside.
That’s why I always cried
Even though it made you mad
I couldn’t help myself, Daddy
It hurt so badly, and you didn’t care.
You told me not to dare to tell
Or I would go to hell.
That I was a bad little boy.
You didn’t have to tell me
Because nobody will help me.